There are moments
Defining moments
Where you make a choice
And you may know
That it’s a “big decision”
Like who to marry
Or whether or not to go to college
But you also may not know
It may be small
Like which route to take to work
Or what time you go to the gym every day
Either way
The consequences are yours
You
Got yourself here
You
Made the choice
You
Picked the path
Other times
Someone else chooses
You are just an aftershock
A casualty
Maybe unintended
Maybe not
And you
Must
deal
With
The consequences
All the same
But without the comfort
That it was you that choose
Because someone else put you here
Do they
Even know?
May 29, 2023
May 29, 2023 at 10:47 PM UTC
I admitted
From
A young age
That I..
Well, hold
On.
Backstory-
My uncle (yes this is going semi
Where
You
Think
It will)...
Sold me to his neighbor.
I remember the hair.
And the nails.
And hiding
Behind
The recliner.
I remember the desperation.
I remember
Saying
“I can dress myself”
But someone else
dressed me anyway.
I remember
My parents not believing
My aunt
Singing/saying
“I was only gone
FIFTEEN
minutes.”
When he went to jail
Almost
20
YEARS
later....
For
assaulting
a
minor.
I knew
it happened.
I admitted
From
A young age
That I could
****
Someone.
If
I had my choice
It would be
HIM
Feb 22, 2020
Feb 22, 2020 at 2:11 AM UTC
For a brief while
I did not believe in “love.”
Looking back I thought
oh what a cynical child....
But today I remembered
I never
Wanted anyone
To have the power
To make me
Feel
Like
This
Ever
Again
Feb 18, 2019
Feb 18, 2019 at 7:34 PM UTC
I remember....
When there was no one
To disappoint me.
I long for those days.
I long to be alone
I would say lonely,
But I already am
Jun 14, 2017
Jun 14, 2017 at 12:37 AM UTC
Once
You were the only thing
Holding my world together.
Truly the only one left,
The only one who had ever stayed.
Staying
I used to think
Was the hardest thing to get people to do.
But now I think that maybe staying is just like love....
Not enough.
I do not know which words to say
Because you say you love me
But how can that be?
I can't believe it,
Not with the way you treat me.
How do I stay?
How do I leave?
I am suspended
Between my love for
Myself
And my love for
You.
I say I love you
But with each jab,
Every harsh word,
It is dimming...
May 13, 2017
May 13, 2017 at 8:56 PM UTC
what is love?
I can tell you what its not...
it does not shove
it is not bought
one "no" shouldn't get me shot
I don't do drugs,
don't hang out with thugs,
don't drink too much,
and if its not mine, I don't touch
so why is it my people so often die?
only one crime
are we guilty of in this lifetime
and that's being a woman
aka doing what you couldn't
or more accurately, wouldn't
any that don't meet your standards
you call a *****
a *****
wait all of these things mean WOMAN
so lets not meander
to you its an insult
you do not see how every woman
does enough that they could consult for superman
but let me get to the point.
It takes all of my self restraint not to scream
WE ARE NOT SECOND STRING!
this should be one big team
We make the world spin,
it not our fault you're stupid enough to take the credit.
while you try to suppress us, you grin
cause you think you'll win
But in the end
its you who gave us the victory
the horrors you subject us to, that we ourselves mend
though it may seem contradictory,
you make us realize our own strength
and at length, that just means
We don't need you
And we're changing things
Apr 19, 2017
Apr 19, 2017 at 5:45 PM UTC
i am a girl
and i am afraid...
to walk down a city street.
my friend and I huddled together
not just because of wind
and she whispers to me,
"i forgot the first rule. don't make eye contact."
that's what my mother had taught me too
and we walked a little faster past the stranger
nervous that the split second of acknowledging merely that he exists
in his mind, was permission
i am a girl
and i am afraid...
to go to work.
i'm always there later than everyone else
sitting at the front door,
workers come in and out
i don't know one by name
but i remember when i interviewed
"dress professionally, because you're young and you're pretty
and you'll work with a lot of men"
i know how to redirect unwanted attention
but i didn't realize i'd be here alone...
so i buy myself a taser
and listen to my coworker say "there's cameras"
anytime i voice my concern
and i pray
that i am not the one in five
i am a girl
and i am afraid...
that i’ll never be good enough.
on our way to the airport my mom asked about work
and after a brief explanation of the weight loss competition that had started
and my 20-pound goal
she made a mom face and said
“but honey don’t you think you could aim higher than that?”
“what?’ i ask because i literally have no idea what she’s saying
“well i bet you could shoot to loose 30 to 40-pounds if you want!”
“do you really think i’m that fat…?”
“well honey i’ve just been a little concerned since high school.”
i’ve never felt more crushed
to be a size 6
i am a girl
and i am afraid…
that things wont change
and that my daughters will live on
the same
**** schedule
i have always lived on
Feb 22, 2017
Feb 22, 2017 at 3:36 PM UTC
It's not his fault.
He doesn't really understand what he's saying.
He couldn't have meant it the way it seemed.
He just doesn't know.
It's not on purpose...
These phrases
These excuses
prevented me from seeing
my abuse.
Don't let them blind you
Nov 9, 2016
Nov 9, 2016 at 3:14 PM UTC
i dyed my hair black.
(well purple.
on accident
of course,
and then black to cover that)
but i love it.
but i was nervous to go home
because my parents choose to worry the most
when i am the happiest.
(my happy just must be different then theirs.)
anywayyyyyyy......
my hair is black
(potentially so is my soul
but who really knows)
and i saw an old frenimie
and do you know what that ******* said?
(quick. a little background:
this man loves to be feared,
will be the first to tell you he's an *******
and will never to admit to being your friend
but deep down is almost nice.)
"You look like Cleopatra!'
WELL DAVE I DON'T KNOW WHAT THAT MEANS
i mean,
i know what you mean
but what are you saying?
but then,
looking back,
i just laugh because
my dear, sweet, ugly former manager/friend,
Cleopatra is known for her beauty.
You gave me SUCH
a nice compliment!
Like that's in the
Top Five Compliments I Have Ever Received.
so i think i'll leave it black for a while
but i can already see
some purple showing through...
Nov 3, 2016
Nov 3, 2016 at 7:17 PM UTC
there's no way I'd be here today if it weren't for you
thank you so much
I know what you think you're thanking me for:
a shoulder to cry on
the movie nights
endless lunches
the family we made out of spoons at work one day
helping you move
Here's what I remember:
sleepless nights waiting for you to come home
hiding your blades
reassuring your mom you were "just fine"
you walking away with no thought
of what would happen to me
"No please, there's no need to thank me"
I didn't have to help lift you at all
because you just
stepped on me
with no thought at all
Nov 3, 2016
Nov 3, 2016 at 7:03 PM UTC