When the harmonies in my ears died
I thought that the rhythm of my heart had simply fallen into
syncopated stutters of a life yet to begin.
So I waited for my pulse to settle back
into the familiar one-and-two-and that they said was
normal for a boy my age.
But then the wind whispered hollow through
the cracks in my skin like
stone.
May 3, 2014
May 3, 2014 at 3:17 AM UTC
There is nothing beautiful here.
There is nothing profound.
This is a confession.
I've littered my skin with blood ridden callouses
and blisters torn apart.
I've poisoned my body with chemicals and substances
all for the greater good.
I've left black inked testaments across my canvas
in the name of art.
I've stretched my skin with needles and plastic
so that I would stick out.
I've broken, repaired, shattered, healed, destroyed, salvaged
myself to appease the mirror.
But there is nothing beautiful here.
There is nothing profound.
This is a confession.
There is nothing beautiful here.
Dec 26, 2013
Dec 26, 2013 at 10:14 PM UTC
I turn the ring
and everything shifts.
Bit by bit
inch by inch
It glides around its track
but I'm never satisfied.
I twist and turn
my perspective evolving.
Each pass brings a new image
but it's never what I need
It's never what I'm looking for
Never.
So I let go
and let it wander free.
I let go.
And I begin to see.
Dec 20, 2013
Dec 20, 2013 at 8:09 PM UTC
I beg you to stay
right where you are.
For my sake
please.
If you take one step towards me
I'll take two for you
And drag my heart across the shore
to stand beside you.
Nov 12, 2013
Nov 12, 2013 at 11:04 PM UTC
It wasn't the promises slung around my neck
by your arms rigid with acceptance
and an unfamiliar love.
It wasn't the sticky skinned summer nights
wrapped in our friends sheets
stealing undeserved kisses.
It wasn't backstage buried beneath piles of wood
or sorted between hunks of metal
next to the man I could never be.
It wasn't a ****** spotlight or an applause that
really wasn't meant for me
or even for us, but for them.
It wasn't a song written by a boy who
never stood a chance standing in the shadow of
a blonde haired
blue eyed
somebody.
It was finding solace in hearts and minds that
like mine
were not suited for the monochromatic
day to day
parking lot prison breakout
of the afternoon.
Yours
that were too distracted by the
galaxies carved between our bones pressed so
tightly together
and the symphonies inked between our teeth.
Nov 4, 2013
Nov 4, 2013 at 12:43 AM UTC
A soft breeze tickled my nose
The tangerine popsicle dripping down my cheek.
I was lying in my backyard
Alone
Staring at the clouds.
Traces of lilacs danced in the air
And my skin tingled above the grass.
He wasn't next to me this time.
He said he'd visit.
We both knew he didn't mean it.
-trj
Jul 18, 2013
Jul 18, 2013 at 6:24 PM UTC
It’s the sound of old, pop-punk blaring through my car speakers at two in the morning.
It’s the way my breath becomes visible late at night.
It’s the sound of our shoes on the woodchips in the park.
It’s the smell of grape Swisher Sweets in our hair and the taste of ****** tobacco on our tongues.
It’s the oversized hoodies.
It’s the neon beanies.
It’s the energy drinks.
It’s the last minute bonfires.
It’s the deep talks on the swings.
It’s the way your hand felt in mine.
It’s the way you felt in my arms.
It’s the sound of our laughter, dripping with the inevitability of the future.
It’s the feeling of growing up.
It’s the feeling of not wanting to grow up.
It’s the changing leaves.
It’s the morning frost.
It’s the end of summer.
It’s the start of tomorrow.
It’s over.
-trj
Jul 6, 2013
Jul 6, 2013 at 3:11 AM UTC
They say three months is too soon
That it isn't enough time
That it's impossible.
I say you've never seen her in the morning, just as she's waking.
You've never seen her fighting to stay awake in the middle of the night
or heard the sudden rumble of her snoring.
I say you've never seen her eyes when she's worried because you're running a fever of 104
but refuse to go to the hospital.
Or seen them light up when you improvised an edible meal for once.
I say you've never tasted her tears
Or heard her laugh
Or kissed her scars.
I say you've never thought about a life without her
only to realize you couldn't.
-trj
Jul 3, 2013
Jul 3, 2013 at 12:02 AM UTC
He's special, they said.
I could taste the greed dripping from their teeth.
He's gifted, they said.
Their lust, suffocating.
He's talented, they said.
Hands on my shoulders, pushing and pulling.
You're special, she said.
Her pride comforting me.
You're gifted, she said.
Her love protecting me.
You're talented, she said.
Her arms around me, gentle and firm.
-trj
Jun 19, 2013
Jun 19, 2013 at 5:40 PM UTC
Though the land begs the waves to stay
washed gently upon its shores
The moon beckons the sea away
and carries you from me forever more.
-trj
May 13, 2013
May 13, 2013 at 8:30 PM UTC