As I hold you tightly
I wonder
Wonder who you will become
Who you will grow to be
I stair into your blue eyes and wonder
Wonder what struggles you might face
Will I be able to help you
Make the bad go away
Maybe not always
But I will always try
Feb 16, 2015
Feb 16, 2015 at 1:21 AM UTC
I only tell you because you've never asked.
I only tell you because I don't think you seem to have the slightest idea of who I am.
Would you believe me if I did tell you?
The only clothes on my body were those of my 4 year old brothers.
The only shoes on my feet were so weathered and torn I could feel the cold concrete with every step I took.
The meals on my plate were only those from the school in which I begged for seconds and dreaded the empty weekend.
Would you believe me if I told you that the only food that filled our cabinets were expired cans given from the food bank.
Dinner time meant hiding under the table, avoiding the drunken blows of Mom's new boyfriend.
Would you even believe me?
Months would go by without water or lights.
Our home was no home.
But a shelter for those who had dragged their bodies to the bed of an 8 year old girl.
My mother was no mother at all but a slave to a chemical mixture.
Would you believe me if I told you?
I fought my fight.
Through blood and tears, I fought my fight.
I chose to stand in the crashing waves against me.
I chose to stand strong with the heaviest weight resting on my shoulders, I fought.
& I won.
Feb 14, 2015
Feb 14, 2015 at 1:46 PM UTC
In silence we sit, waiting for the first word.
How did it ever get this bad?
You remind me of reality.
A reality I never want to be a part of.
Something I don't even know of.
This normalcy you speak of, you crave so deeply in your bones.
Your body aches from desire.
My heart races for compassion.
How do you live like this?
Two separate lives that no one could ever understand, yet our blood the same.
Empty words.
Silent voices.
You'll try but you won't get me this time.
Feb 11, 2015
Feb 11, 2015 at 10:23 PM UTC
It's as if I can feel every cell of my being illuminating.
Everything my fingers touch is electrifying.
My face aches from the corners of my lips relentlessly kissing the lobes of my ears.
Every word spilling from mouth is as dire as the need for air in my lungs.
My body is restless and weightless.
There is no euphoria I can't reach.
No amount of ecstasy I can't handle.
Complete bliss, if only for the moment.
Just as quickly as this paradise was built, even faster it disintegrates.
Feb 9, 2015
Feb 9, 2015 at 1:23 AM UTC
I wish I could fix you.
I wish I could smooth every one of your worry wrinkles.
I wish I could tell you that everything will be ok, and mean it.
But the sadness you carry is deeper than I have ever known.
You are the only hope I have ever lost.
The only need I have always refused.
& the only soul I ever rejected.
Too much of you has withered away.
Your body has become unfamiliar to me.
Our words are only those of distance, desperately searching for conversation.
I feel as though I've never known you.
Your face is not a mothers, but a sad & broken stranger.
I just wish I could fix you.
Feb 9, 2015
Feb 9, 2015 at 1:23 AM UTC
Is it real..
Or is it just a love I wanna feel.
To make you love me, want me, lust me.
Do I love you?
Or do I just want to?
Our love is so unspoken, I'm not sure what to do.
To stay in pain, or to leave in pain..
That's the question.
Feb 9, 2015
Feb 9, 2015 at 1:22 AM UTC