don’t be mistaken
i tried to keep the best parts of me
tucked away
for you
don’t be mistaken
you have galaxies at your fingertips
and rainforests at your feet
use my chalk outline as a boundary
dare to break it
sincerely
your absent father figure
Jul 27, 2015
Jul 27, 2015 at 7:11 AM UTC
I cannot construct
nor complete
that sentence
which fits you
perfectly
I think
My head like scattered hay bales
cannot trick itself to see you
my thoughts like a minefield
watch out, danger
I think
It was you
it is you
I am not your territory
My body is a landscape unconquerable
I think, I know
Jul 17, 2015
Jul 17, 2015 at 7:43 AM UTC
At eight years old
I saw my mum grow down
At nine years old
I witnessed her in hospital
At ten years old
She forgot my birthday
At eleven
I could not comprehend or fathom
The words to express
How I feel
I watched my mum blossom
Only to wilt
I could fix a summer draught
With the tears I refuse to cry
At seventeen years old
I still cannot gather those words
Jul 17, 2015
Jul 17, 2015 at 7:42 AM UTC
Memories,
memories of the boxes of masculinity I crammed myself into,
for you,
they are memories,
memories which occupy not only my closet,
but also the lining of my heart,
if you had the faintest idea you’d understand,
those memories burn like embers,
she still doesn’t understand,
memory boxes which hold photos of me,
but are not me,
photos of a girl before testosterone occupied and took control of her body,
a girl before male hormones swam deep into her genetic code,
stripping away what was, a girl,
she still doesn’t understand,
those memories like knives,
cut deep into my skin.
I can now say blood is a lot thicker than water,
but
that does not mean the scars on my body tell the happy tale of a family unit, they do not recite togetherness
they do not dance to the rhythm of unity
Instead
Instead these scars loosely translate to ‘please mom, help’,
she still doesn’t understand
I cut my chest open for you and bare myself to you
like an open cavity in hope that you’ll understand
that body was a home but I was merely a guest
don’t you get it?
Jun 24, 2015
Jun 24, 2015 at 7:14 AM UTC
I’ll stain solar systems on your heart
So any boy who loves you has to conquer the galaxies
Before he can say “that girls mine”
I’ll paint forests in your iris
So any boy who loves you has to adventure into depths unknown Before he can say “I got lost in her eyes”
I’ll draw the sun on your lungs
and the sky on your back
to teach you that your body is a habitat
not a hotel or an
ecosystem of forgotten love
I’ll write novels on your thighs So any boy who loves you has to read between the lines Before he can say “I got between those legs”
I’ll sketch the stars on your feet
So any boy who loves you can get lost in the milky way Before he can say “we go everywhere together”
I’ll sculpt the gods on your knees
and clouds on your fingers
to remind you
you can, you will
conquer great things
Jun 21, 2015
Jun 21, 2015 at 2:43 PM UTC