One day the smoke clears
The shadows disappear
But as always the darkness re appears
For its never far away
The voices that echo in my head
The judgment I can’t let go
It always follows me like a dog left astray
It dragged me back and pulled me away
From the live i try and live
From the freedom I try and find each and every day
But this hollow grave, this empty thought
I still call it a friend
For it gives me meaning and it gives me light
In the thoughts i never say
Without sadness there is no hope
For in happiness there is no growth
So the struggles and the battles we face
Bring us closer to the truth
Of the child we lost in ourselves when we
Hid our true face
Oct 26, 2017
Oct 26, 2017 at 8:34 PM UTC
First was red and green
That ended up being left
As a torn flea ridden mess
Second was a big white square house filled with passing guests, paying for a nights rest
Third was a halfway house somewhere i can't name
Ask three times in the window of vain
Four is where my mind still wanders
A home, a livelihood, my food, my roof
A square, a dog, sadness and laughter
Heartbreak and tears, a green car disappearing behind mountains of heat
Five was next to four
More like to the left up five
It was of dreams, it was of magazines
Caved away at the seams
It was the place the regretful abandonment returned
And a loved pet was dropped two floors
Six didn't last long
It was ugly and torn
In a place most go to mourn
Only light was a green house maybe one tomato bloomed
Seven was darkness more of a kitchen mess
A walk in a field, a promise to never eat of that kind again
A slit of the wrist and a drop of the blade
A slither of blood beneath an empty bridge
Snow and cold, stuffed foxes and prides
Eight, a home, a shop, an illegal fortress
A makeshift kitchen and a half a mile walk shower
The awakening of self awareness, of life,
The bonding of friendships, the discovery of evil
The turnover of property never belonging but always loved
Nine was a long awaited rest
But still a sofa was her nest
One walk to pay for the habits i posses
A few years of empty friendships i'm yet to see
Ten final independence, freedom and loneliness
Ten a rounded number im yet to break
Oct 26, 2017
Oct 26, 2017 at 8:02 PM UTC
Ive tried to be the cool girl
The one that washes away the night
Ive tried to be the person
Who doesnt look left or right
But im stuck in my romanticised manor
My mind wanders off
And its you i always think of
Even if your not what i want
My life has been a lie
I set myself all these rules
I've only just discovered
Im losing all alone
I've been in a game with them all
Trying to solve a mystery
I thought they had all the answers
But they where playing blind
So im trying to turn a corner
Find my next stage
But im stuck staring blankly
Trying to write the next page
But ill try im trying
I see clearly now
Ive been feeding myself stories
Feeding myself pain
And I've known all along
Im the one to blame
Oct 26, 2017
Oct 26, 2017 at 7:57 PM UTC