theron-aidan - Hello Poetry

Blocked I've tried everything to break through You think I'm lost Confused That I don't know who I am I know exactly who I am Warrior Lover Shaman In that order I classify myself Time has shaped me Has it shaped you? I can't get a read on your soul Have you found it yet? The sword The bow The mouth All are deadly when wielded by one who knows Waking nightmares Memories of lives past Blood, and glory I know who I am Stop calling me broken I'm not

0

Mar 17, 2013

Mar 17, 2013 at 3:55 PM UTC

theron-aidan

I know who I am

Blocked I've tried everything to break through You think I'm lost Confused That I don't know who I am I know exactly who I am Warrior Lover Shaman In that order I classify myself Time has shaped me Has it shaped you? I can't get a read on your soul Have you found it yet? The sword The bow The mouth All are deadly when wielded by one who knows Waking nightmares Memories of lives past Blood, and glory I know who I am Stop calling me broken I'm not

24

Photographs Line the walls Faces missing My face missing From all of your photographs I didn't think it mattered Until now Smiling faces The ones that replaced mine Next to yours I'm not in your past I can see now that I won't be in your future You don't want me there Maybe someday We'll be in a photograph Together

0

Feb 23, 2013

Feb 23, 2013 at 11:43 PM UTC

theron-aidan

Photographs

Photographs Line the walls Faces missing My face missing From all of your photographs I didn't think it mattered Until now Smiling faces The ones that replaced mine Next to yours I'm not in your past I can see now that I won't be in your future You don't want me there Maybe someday We'll be in a photograph Together

17

Rebellious I wanted to save you From the world that was hurting you so So many times, so close They say its the thought that counts But thoughts won't stop the pain I sound like a parent I know that And I'm not sorry That's the role of the older sibling All I want is to protect you But you don't want to be protected Ok. Take your life and live it Forgive me for the role that I played In standing in your way All I've ever wanted Is for you to be happy If you can find room for me I'd love to be in your life If you don't have room for me Please Just be happy

0

Feb 16, 2013

Feb 16, 2013 at 9:22 PM UTC

theron-aidan

Only Sister

Rebellious I wanted to save you From the world that was hurting you so So many times, so close They say its the thought that counts But thoughts won't stop the pain I sound like a parent I know that And I'm not sorry That's the role of the older sibling All I want is to protect you But you don't want to be protected Ok. Take your life and live it Forgive me for the role that I played In standing in your way All I've ever wanted Is for you to be happy If you can find room for me I'd love to be in your life If you don't have room for me Please Just be happy

23

Crumpled paper litters the floor Words not quite right Not quite wrong Are there any right words for this? All I really want to tell you Is that I love you I want you in my life I want to know you I want you to know me But her I've tried Time and again All she has for me is pain Maybe not for you Maybe she's what you need For now Or forever It's your path Between us A wall What you think of me without asking What I think of you without asking Why don't we ask Because we all know What happens when we assume You think I think We think Because we're smart We think But sometimes our intelligence betrays us This could and should be simple I'm here Let me show you my tears, my smiles, my rage Let me show you my form, my mistakes, my days You promised you wouldn't look away I'm here Let's talk Just you And me

0

Feb 16, 2013

Feb 16, 2013 at 9:11 PM UTC

theron-aidan

Brother

Crumpled paper litters the floor Words not quite right Not quite wrong Are there any right words for this? All I really want to tell you Is that I love you I want you in my life I want to know you I want you to know me But her I've tried Time and again All she has for me is pain Maybe not for you Maybe she's what you need For now Or forever It's your path Between us A wall What you think of me without asking What I think of you without asking Why don't we ask Because we all know What happens when we assume You think I think We think Because we're smart We think But sometimes our intelligence betrays us This could and should be simple I'm here Let me show you my tears, my smiles, my rage Let me show you my form, my mistakes, my days You promised you wouldn't look away I'm here Let's talk Just you And me

40

The sound of pouring rain Rushing wind The steady drip, drip, drip From the rooftop The feel of the fresh rain Upon my face The chill of the wind Playing across damp skin The smell of damp earth The feel of mud between my toes The creaking of the tress The sight of dew on grass The warmth of fire Gently kissing my skin As it flickers merrily In the wind The rush of my hear When thunder booms The goosebumps that come With the flash of lightning Next to your Gentle caress Your warm embrace All of these pale The sound of your breath As you sigh in content The steady thump, thump, thump Of your heart The feel of your lips Upon my face Your fingertips Caressing my skin The smell of your hair The softness of your skin Your voice, your laugh Your smile The heat of your love Making me flush As you whisper quietly Against my ear Goosebumps and butterflies Chills, warmth, safety Comfort, love, eternity These are the things you are Our bodies are two Our minds and hearts are one Take my hand Come share in my world.

0

Feb 16, 2013

Feb 16, 2013 at 7:29 PM UTC

theron-aidan

Who You Are

The sound of pouring rain Rushing wind The steady drip, drip, drip From the rooftop The feel of the fresh rain Upon my face The chill of the wind Playing across damp skin The smell of damp earth The feel of mud between my toes The creaking of the tress The sight of dew on grass The warmth of fire Gently kissing my skin As it flickers merrily In the wind The rush of my hear When thunder booms The goosebumps that come With the flash of lightning Next to your Gentle caress Your warm embrace All of these pale The sound of your breath As you sigh in content The steady thump, thump, thump Of your heart The feel of your lips Upon my face Your fingertips Caressing my skin The smell of your hair The softness of your skin Your voice, your laugh Your smile The heat of your love Making me flush As you whisper quietly Against my ear Goosebumps and butterflies Chills, warmth, safety Comfort, love, eternity These are the things you are Our bodies are two Our minds and hearts are one Take my hand Come share in my world.

48

Gray eyes Sometimes blue Sometimes green Mostly slate, no phyllite Sometimes schist And sometimes, when all other hope is gone Shale Crooked nose Broken, bloodied Put a band-aid on it It's still proud Proof of heritage and blood High cheekbones Finely sculpted Match the proud nose Thin lips Pink, not red Set in a straight line Seldom smiling Sometimes laughing Broad shoulders Strong arms A chest that contains a heavy heart Pianists fingers Long and slender Nimble Quick Bound by a ring on the left hand Scars Powerful legs Sprinters feet Bad knees Scars Things in between Head and feet Don't quite belong But over time Are no longer noticed See the soul Not the body Live happily

0

Feb 16, 2013

Feb 16, 2013 at 1:13 PM UTC

theron-aidan

Reflection

Gray eyes Sometimes blue Sometimes green Mostly slate, no phyllite Sometimes schist And sometimes, when all other hope is gone Shale Crooked nose Broken, bloodied Put a band-aid on it It's still proud Proof of heritage and blood High cheekbones Finely sculpted Match the proud nose Thin lips Pink, not red Set in a straight line Seldom smiling Sometimes laughing Broad shoulders Strong arms A chest that contains a heavy heart Pianists fingers Long and slender Nimble Quick Bound by a ring on the left hand Scars Powerful legs Sprinters feet Bad knees Scars Things in between Head and feet Don't quite belong But over time Are no longer noticed See the soul Not the body Live happily

41

I sat curled up in the closet, my knees tucked up into my chest and my arms wrapped tightly around them. The more pain I felt, the tighter I clutched my knees to my chest, my fingernails digging into my skin, breaking it, hoping, with my blood, to make the hole stop throbbing, stop hurting, if only for a few minutes, a few seconds. The throb subsided, dulled, but didn’t go away. Silent tears rolled down my cheeks as another aching sob built deep in my chest, threatening to explode any second. The pressure built, higher and higher in my throat, the pain pushing its way to the surface, looking for a way out. My stomach tightened and convulsed as the sob broke surface, screaming out of my chest like a freight train, allowing the whole world to be privy to my most private pain, privy to the anguish that comes from losing something so dear to you that, when it goes, it takes a piece of your soul, and all of your heart, with it. As the last of my air escaped, my sob turned into a soft, pathetic whimper, like that of a dog sitting at the door when his Master leaves. Depleted of that life-giving substance, oxygen, my body and mind did that automatic thing: breathing. Air ripped through my mouth and down to my lungs, digging its wicked claws into the walls of my throat its entire way. A soft inward whine echoed up from the abyss of my chest just before my lungs were again filled to capacity and another sob burst forth, screaming my agony to the dark walls of the closet I had sheltered myself in. Eventually, like always, numbness came. It worked its way up through my limbs, a sweet coolness working its way through my burning body. It started in my toes and feet, the furthest and therefore already dullest part of me. Its icy fingers began to massage their way up my ankles and calves next, pausing at my knees to work through the weakness there. I began to feel it work its way up my fingers next, cooling the burn that had been left by her fingers. It followed the paths that she used to trace up my arms, feeling nothing like her fingers’ tender caress. It moved its way up my thighs, chasing the paths her lips used to pursue on their way to my tender core, icing the burns left there. The ice flowed past my elbows, up my biceps, to my shoulders, still following her lips. Up my stomach and abs, along my ribs, over my chest, it searched out the heart that was no longer there. Its icy fingers took a firm hold of my chest and continued their ascent, up my neck and along my chin, gently caressing my cheeks, my nose, playing gently through my hair. And finally, the face, her face, that had been haunting me since I’d stepped into that closet, was frosted over and replaced with the grey haze that meant that I was able to unwrap my arms from around my knees and stand again. I stood, then, and let myself out. I went to stand in front of the sliding glass door. It was sunrise. I’d sat in there another full night, hiding from the memory of her, hiding from her face, from everything that reminded me of her. I sighed and returned my attention to the sunrise. It was ablaze with oranges and reds and yellows, fire working its way across the sky, flames dancing in the sunrise clouds, heralding a new day. The light was streaming in through the windows, the hopeful light of yet another day. A soft breeze was playing through the aspens that were planted in strategic locations in the sidewalk five stories below. A woman jogged past, dressed in the typical black spandex sweatpants with white stripes running down the sides, accompanied by a tight tank top that revealed far more of the silicone masses, that her stock-broker husband no doubt paid for with his far-too-large Christmas bonus, than was truly necessary for a morning jog. His bonus probably paid for that nose-job that she was sporting as well. I wondered briefly why she was running. I was sure that her husband could probably afford liposuction for her. She jogged around the corner, taking my brief distraction with her, and I was left to ponder the sun rising on yet another day. I looked around my room, seeing and not seeing the faceless picture frames lining the walls, their emptiness a shadowy reflection of my soul. A soft rage suddenly erupted from somewhere deep inside of me and I found myself tearing the empty frames from their perches upon the wall. Her face stared up at me from the empty, shattered glass that littered the floor. Her eyes haunted me in my rage as I trampled the broken glass, pulling my hair and screaming at the top of my lungs, wordless screams of anguish. My unclad feet began to drip blood onto the glass, hiding the green that was staring up at me, making her flee from the pools of glass that lay strewn upon the floor. I turned my attention back to the sunrise. Opening the door, I stepped out onto the balcony. A sunrise this beautiful might have once moved me to tears, but the numbness was as paralyzing as it was relieving. All and any emotion was gone. My life was devoid of meaning now. I climbed onto the railing and steadied myself. I waited for the nausea and vertigo that normally came with heights to come, but it didn’t. I looked down, gazing at the sidewalk five stories below. The wind swept up, catching my hair in its grasp, and making me wonder for the first time what it would be like to fly. I spread my arms, my wings, and allowed the warm morning breeze to wash over them. It had a warming effect on my numb body, breaking the ice that had just recently formed all over my body. Her face came back into focus, obscuring the view of the street and the sidewalk below. My mind, so tattered and torn with grief, brought me back to our last morning together. We had been up most of the night before, making love, our bodies moving in perfect synchronicity throughout the night until they had finally arched in ****** together leaving us sleeping peacefully in each others’ arms. Somehow, we’d still woken up with the sunrise, a blazing red and orange one, much like the one that I was staring at now. She had looked at me with a passionate fire burning in her eyes, softened by a tenderness in her cheeks, and told me that she loved me, that she wanted to stay with me forever. Our fingers entwined, I looked in her eyes and told her that nothing would make me happier. Our lips met then, our tongues entwining and our pulses racing as our bodies moved as one. I closed my eyes and took a deep breath, finally allowing myself to succumb to my memories, the happy ones she and I had made during our time together. I held onto them, allowing them to cushion me as only her love could.

0

Feb 16, 2013

Feb 16, 2013 at 1:04 PM UTC

theron-aidan

Numb

I sat curled up in the closet, my knees tucked up into my chest and my arms wrapped tightly around them. The more pain I felt, the tighter I clutched my knees to my chest, my fingernails digging into my skin, breaking it, hoping, with my blood, to make the hole stop throbbing, stop hurting, if only for a few minutes, a few seconds. The throb subsided, dulled, but didn’t go away. Silent tears rolled down my cheeks as another aching sob built deep in my chest, threatening to explode any second. The pressure built, higher and higher in my throat, the pain pushing its way to the surface, looking for a way out. My stomach tightened and convulsed as the sob broke surface, screaming out of my chest like a freight train, allowing the whole world to be privy to my most private pain, privy to the anguish that comes from losing something so dear to you that, when it goes, it takes a piece of your soul, and all of your heart, with it. As the last of my air escaped, my sob turned into a soft, pathetic whimper, like that of a dog sitting at the door when his Master leaves. Depleted of that life-giving substance, oxygen, my body and mind did that automatic thing: breathing. Air ripped through my mouth and down to my lungs, digging its wicked claws into the walls of my throat its entire way. A soft inward whine echoed up from the abyss of my chest just before my lungs were again filled to capacity and another sob burst forth, screaming my agony to the dark walls of the closet I had sheltered myself in. Eventually, like always, numbness came. It worked its way up through my limbs, a sweet coolness working its way through my burning body. It started in my toes and feet, the furthest and therefore already dullest part of me. Its icy fingers began to massage their way up my ankles and calves next, pausing at my knees to work through the weakness there. I began to feel it work its way up my fingers next, cooling the burn that had been left by her fingers. It followed the paths that she used to trace up my arms, feeling nothing like her fingers’ tender caress. It moved its way up my thighs, chasing the paths her lips used to pursue on their way to my tender core, icing the burns left there. The ice flowed past my elbows, up my biceps, to my shoulders, still following her lips. Up my stomach and abs, along my ribs, over my chest, it searched out the heart that was no longer there. Its icy fingers took a firm hold of my chest and continued their ascent, up my neck and along my chin, gently caressing my cheeks, my nose, playing gently through my hair. And finally, the face, her face, that had been haunting me since I’d stepped into that closet, was frosted over and replaced with the grey haze that meant that I was able to unwrap my arms from around my knees and stand again. I stood, then, and let myself out. I went to stand in front of the sliding glass door. It was sunrise. I’d sat in there another full night, hiding from the memory of her, hiding from her face, from everything that reminded me of her. I sighed and returned my attention to the sunrise. It was ablaze with oranges and reds and yellows, fire working its way across the sky, flames dancing in the sunrise clouds, heralding a new day. The light was streaming in through the windows, the hopeful light of yet another day. A soft breeze was playing through the aspens that were planted in strategic locations in the sidewalk five stories below. A woman jogged past, dressed in the typical black spandex sweatpants with white stripes running down the sides, accompanied by a tight tank top that revealed far more of the silicone masses, that her stock-broker husband no doubt paid for with his far-too-large Christmas bonus, than was truly necessary for a morning jog. His bonus probably paid for that nose-job that she was sporting as well. I wondered briefly why she was running. I was sure that her husband could probably afford liposuction for her. She jogged around the corner, taking my brief distraction with her, and I was left to ponder the sun rising on yet another day. I looked around my room, seeing and not seeing the faceless picture frames lining the walls, their emptiness a shadowy reflection of my soul. A soft rage suddenly erupted from somewhere deep inside of me and I found myself tearing the empty frames from their perches upon the wall. Her face stared up at me from the empty, shattered glass that littered the floor. Her eyes haunted me in my rage as I trampled the broken glass, pulling my hair and screaming at the top of my lungs, wordless screams of anguish. My unclad feet began to drip blood onto the glass, hiding the green that was staring up at me, making her flee from the pools of glass that lay strewn upon the floor. I turned my attention back to the sunrise. Opening the door, I stepped out onto the balcony. A sunrise this beautiful might have once moved me to tears, but the numbness was as paralyzing as it was relieving. All and any emotion was gone. My life was devoid of meaning now. I climbed onto the railing and steadied myself. I waited for the nausea and vertigo that normally came with heights to come, but it didn’t. I looked down, gazing at the sidewalk five stories below. The wind swept up, catching my hair in its grasp, and making me wonder for the first time what it would be like to fly. I spread my arms, my wings, and allowed the warm morning breeze to wash over them. It had a warming effect on my numb body, breaking the ice that had just recently formed all over my body. Her face came back into focus, obscuring the view of the street and the sidewalk below. My mind, so tattered and torn with grief, brought me back to our last morning together. We had been up most of the night before, making love, our bodies moving in perfect synchronicity throughout the night until they had finally arched in ****** together leaving us sleeping peacefully in each others’ arms. Somehow, we’d still woken up with the sunrise, a blazing red and orange one, much like the one that I was staring at now. She had looked at me with a passionate fire burning in her eyes, softened by a tenderness in her cheeks, and told me that she loved me, that she wanted to stay with me forever. Our fingers entwined, I looked in her eyes and told her that nothing would make me happier. Our lips met then, our tongues entwining and our pulses racing as our bodies moved as one. I closed my eyes and took a deep breath, finally allowing myself to succumb to my memories, the happy ones she and I had made during our time together. I held onto them, allowing them to cushion me as only her love could.

7

Debris litter the floor The remains of what was my heart Black and charred I look upon the carnage with surpisingly little emotion Stabbed, torn, broken, beaten, burnt, used Tear-stained face, blood red eyes Pain in some many different forms When will it end? Only I have the power to stop this torture But that "power" is an illusion The addictions I serve won't let me leave Stuck here, suffering, needing to know for sure Riding this roller coaster, up and down, then back up again I have to see where it ends, I have to see what's around the next bend Perpetually stuck The good moments are heaven on earth The bad ones are **** near hell Which ones will there be more of? Have to finish the ride to find out

0

Feb 16, 2013

Feb 16, 2013 at 1:03 PM UTC

theron-aidan

Pain

Debris litter the floor The remains of what was my heart Black and charred I look upon the carnage with surpisingly little emotion Stabbed, torn, broken, beaten, burnt, used Tear-stained face, blood red eyes Pain in some many different forms When will it end? Only I have the power to stop this torture But that "power" is an illusion The addictions I serve won't let me leave Stuck here, suffering, needing to know for sure Riding this roller coaster, up and down, then back up again I have to see where it ends, I have to see what's around the next bend Perpetually stuck The good moments are heaven on earth The bad ones are **** near hell Which ones will there be more of? Have to finish the ride to find out

20

Silence Oppressing, bitter silence Debris litter the floor The remnants of any heart I ever had Ripped, torn from my chest Thrown on the floor Stomped on for all to see From cower to kneel I bring myself off the floor From kneel to stand For I only kneel for my Mistress A deep breath to center I square my shoulders And hold my head high That which doesn't **** us Makes us stronger I will get through this Through the darkness I will find the light.

0

Feb 16, 2013

Feb 16, 2013 at 1:02 PM UTC

theron-aidan

I kneel no more

Silence Oppressing, bitter silence Debris litter the floor The remnants of any heart I ever had Ripped, torn from my chest Thrown on the floor Stomped on for all to see From cower to kneel I bring myself off the floor From kneel to stand For I only kneel for my Mistress A deep breath to center I square my shoulders And hold my head high That which doesn't **** us Makes us stronger I will get through this Through the darkness I will find the light.

19

Long, smooth, slender Wicked Breathe in Pull it back Breathe out Let it fly Repeat Focus Breathe Nothing else Let it fly

0

Feb 16, 2013

Feb 16, 2013 at 1:00 PM UTC

theron-aidan

Meditate

Long, smooth, slender Wicked Breathe in Pull it back Breathe out Let it fly Repeat Focus Breathe Nothing else Let it fly

11