cheek-gnawing, knuckle cracking, fear inducing fear.
school, work, life, death;
don't sit too long, you'll start thinking.
work, always work,
work until you can't work anymore.
work until the fingers can't feel and your thoughts quiet down.
always keep busy
keep tapping your foot, bouncing your leg;
twist the ring once more.
nail marks in your palm,
heartbeat in your ears.
don't look them in the eyes.
the moment when your mood isn't just one feeling,
but every single emotion flowing through your veins at once.
the moment when you wonder if the world around you
can hear your rapid pulse
or smell your insecurity.
like a wolf stalking its prey,
waiting
to use its words, its fangs
tearing into your skin,
your disastrous mind.
the moment when you forget how to breathe
when breathing is what you need to do most.
Sep 4, 2016
Sep 4, 2016 at 8:27 PM UTC
Tracing the outline of your scars
Is like reading your soul.
The stories they can tell.
Just more parts to your whole.
Never cover them,
Do not be ashamed
Your scars show the truth
Of life filled with love and pain.
They are a part of you,
What makes you truly whole
I'll trace the outline of each scar
To better understand your soul.
Oct 23, 2014
Oct 23, 2014 at 9:41 PM UTC
No one could ever love
a girl with scars.
She's so ugly,
they just make her look
as broken on the outside
as she is on the inside.
She's already dead on the inside.
The forced smiles
and broken laughter...
She was the girl with
the drunken father and
the depressed mother.
The dysfunctional family.
The abusive brother.
The family of bullies.
She was the one who,
no matter how much she tried,
could not ignore it.
The girl who
sliced into the flesh
just to feel something.
Sep 20, 2014
Sep 20, 2014 at 2:29 PM UTC
You, my love,
Give me butterflies.
Since the day we met,
Every time I logged on,
They would do a
Dance around my stomach.
These butterflies, though,
Are not the kind I get when
I have to talk in front of the class .
These butterflies are the beautiful kind.
You, my love,
Make my heart race.
When you say those
three special words,
It beats faster and faster
And the excitement spreads to my face
As my lips curl into a smile.
This smile, though,
Is not the one I put on for
The people at school.
This smile is genuine happiness,
A smile which I rarely see anymore.
You, my love,
Are just that.
My love.
I love you.
Sep 4, 2014
Sep 4, 2014 at 9:57 PM UTC
Loneliness is not a disease,
it's a choice,
a gruelling way of sad life.
Aug 27, 2014
Aug 27, 2014 at 6:27 AM UTC
There are three simple words
that can make me,
that can break me.
Three words that
anyone can say.
The speaker of those words
immediately has power over me
as soon as the words
leave their lips.
The words are not
I love you,
but
**** your self.
kys.
three words; **** your self.
two words; **** yourself.
an acronym; kys.
Six months ago,
you could've said that to me
and I would have been
devastated.
I would cry
and scream
and maybe even try.
Today, however,
you could say those words to me,
and I will smile.
I will smile with confidence.
I will smile with sadness,
because you think it is a joke.
For you cannot tell me what to do.
You cannot bring
me down that easily.
I will laugh
because you think
you can hurt me.
Your petty little words
will not even phase me.
Go ahead and joke,
but I will never
EVER
say those words to anyone.
You never know
when someone will
take you seriously.
Aug 26, 2014
Aug 26, 2014 at 5:44 PM UTC
Careless actions and careless words
Break
The very threads that I keep trying to mend and
You're moving at a faster rate
Than I can fix
Aug 26, 2014
Aug 26, 2014 at 3:18 PM UTC
You don't know me
And you don't want to
So don't give me a reason
To unleash my demons
Aug 26, 2014
Aug 26, 2014 at 2:56 PM UTC
I don't expect you to understand
Why I recoil when
You extend your arms and hands
Why I brace for impact
Within the trajectory of your touch
It is warm,
and I am cold.
It is wind,
and I am stone.
Aug 26, 2014
Aug 26, 2014 at 2:56 PM UTC
A new introspection incited within this body of mine,
When he left early that one morning;
As I lay naked in the bed,
Wrapped within the white sheets
A gut-wrenching feeling irritated me.
Whenever I saw the bed sheet so tightly enveloping the bed,
It seemed as if the bed and the sheet were soul mates,
For they never separated from each other
This perennial intimacy was something I couldn't get,
Because what I did,
And what time made me do,
Was sit in the lap of a stranger every night,
And show him fallacious pleasure.
Every day, new people, new demands and new currencies
But that one morning was different,
As I got out of the bed,
I looked at the mirror,
The reflection of my **** body fascinated me,
Unlike most days, when I used to callously judge my body,
For the natural flaws that hid my smooth pale white skin,
That morning was different.
I kept staring my body for hours and hours,
It made me daydreamy,
It made me feel as if contentment finally knocked my doors,
I felt beautiful,
I felt strong,
And, and I felt perfect.
That one day,
I could see Aphrodite smiling,
Pandora breathing,
And Athena pondering,
It was my body
A harlot’s body,
There was no regret,
Just delight. Just delight.
Aug 26, 2014
Aug 26, 2014 at 2:52 PM UTC