My demons haven't been kind to me again.
They wake me up after 5am
And play me the fool.
I can see you kissing another man.
And my heart rips in two.
Because I wasn't good enough.
And I end up crying myself to tears.
For stupid reasons I can't control.
Only because I am vulnerable.
I just feel that I've pushed you away.
With my clingy ways and fears.
I just loved the days
We spent together.
Is that a crime?
I dont want it to go away.
Please dont go astray....
Am i being obsessed?
Or do I care so much
That im losing my god **** mind.
Are these feelings valid?
Or am I kidding myself.
And killing time with sorrow.
I guess some things never change.
Them before me. Her before me.
Whatever makes their day.
Im probably better off alone.
"Love yourself" they always say.
Love yourself, fight another day.
And I end up crying myself to tears.
For stupid reasons I can't control.
Only because I am vulnerable.
I just feel that I've pushed you away.
With my clingy ways and fears.
I just loved the days
We spent together.
Is that a crime?
I dont want it to go away.
Please dont go astray....
I love you.
Please...
Dont go astray....
Apr 26, 2015
Apr 26, 2015 at 10:09 AM UTC
If you dont want to talk to me anymore Then just...
Tell me.
I mean I know we just met and all
I'm new to all this,
But you can't just leave me
In the dark....
Cause I worry.
I lose sleep.
I care.
I dont know if I scared you off
Or weirded you out
Or said something rude or wrong.
I had a really great time Wednesday.
With you.
And for the first time in a while
With you, I didn't feel alone.
But if you don't want to talk to me anymore,
Just tell me.
Mar 1, 2015
Mar 1, 2015 at 3:41 AM UTC
Its been too long.
Too long since I've felt this...
This feeling in my chest.
In my heart no doubt.
A desire. A crave.
To be with her again.
It was only a day.
It was only a day!
This feeling now bleeds
and burns within me.
The silence is years of torture.
My fingers ache to communicate...
But I must retrain myself....
Am I insane?
Am I sick?
Perhaps...
But thing that is certain.
I want to see her again.
I want to hear her laugh.
Her smile, her presence.
Its been too long...
Feb 20, 2015
Feb 20, 2015 at 10:31 AM UTC
"In my room, the darkness stirs
A dim light to my eyes.
As time flies.
Is there no end to the abyss I live in?
The loneliness that craves my existence?
The lips that will never touch my own.
Yet the thought pangs my heart to no end.
To no end!
In my room, the darkness stirs
The dim light fades
As time flies"
Jan 30, 2015
Jan 30, 2015 at 9:44 PM UTC
"Ignore her" he said.
It was how this society reacts
"When someone isn't of interest to you."
Ignore her. Yeah.
I know how it feels.
To be pushed away without a chance
Or led into the dark and abandoned.
And when I get the power to do so...
When a girl overwhelms me with love
And I just cant....
In the end its inevitable.
Someone will get hurt either way.
And im supposed to live with that?
Until I forget?
Until it happens again?
Jan 18, 2015
Jan 18, 2015 at 11:52 AM UTC
Up on the moon
Where his whole life is engraved
Where he's wishing,
Hoping,
Thinking he'll be saved.
This poor pathetic soul
Who thought he was whole
But instead,
He was always empty.
He never really got it
He never quite will.
For his days
Are now at a stand still.
So lets face it.
And lets discover.
Why this boy cant have a lover.
Lets look back.
And decide.
Why this man wanted to die.
For her
Up on the moon
Where his whole life
Is engraved.
Jan 14, 2015
Jan 14, 2015 at 10:26 AM UTC
It's feels so uncomfortable
When you witness a conversation
Digesting the fact he or she
Is confident in their ablities.
It makes me wish
I grew up the same way.
Jan 14, 2015
Jan 14, 2015 at 10:19 AM UTC
I wish I was Stronger.
Handsome.
Attractive.
Instead of this whiney
Hopeless
Piece of ****
Jan 14, 2015
Jan 14, 2015 at 9:53 AM UTC
Burn I say. I scream.
As i cast myself aside.
Turning my back on my feelings
And such worthless sense of pride.
My feet shake the earth.
My hands bash bone.
Slaughtering them and all.
Skulls shattered on stone.
The blood paints the walls
The sky and the land.
And i do not stop
This rampage thats at hand...
And when i retire
Myself resting on the pile
Of everyone I knew
For the longest while..
I laugh till I cry
Tears stream from my eyes
Regreting nothing.
Jan 9, 2015
Jan 9, 2015 at 12:20 AM UTC
You tell me to go.
To leave you behind.
But lust dances with my soul
To that I find
That my heart is a mess
Juggling love and rage at best.
Finding the right words to confess
My lowly state of mind.
She sleeps soundly.
Soft moans from fatigue.
And I lay here wondering what becomes of me.
Do I continue to despair?
Or go on without a care?
The heart has limits; that I know.
Even so, you tell me to go.
To leave you behind.
Darkness, take me.
Jan 5, 2015
Jan 5, 2015 at 5:55 AM UTC