I worked to earn enough to live.
That was the purpose of my life.
There was no plan of having kids.
There was no way I'd find a wife.
When life got dark, I felt at home.
The thought of friendship made me hide.
I didn't have the strength to thrive
With dread and fear there, side by side.
I never really loved myself.
I never valued what was me.
Day by day I soldiered on,
With no-one there to hear my plea.
I'd barely eat. I'd always stray.
I'd be on xbox through the day.
My only wish. The price I'd pay.
To earn the right to pass away.
The emphasis of where I was,
Is crucial that I name.
It's not to bring you sadness,
And it's not to bring me shame.
When I look back, I see the boy,
Who had no earthly plan.
But that was all before we met,
And you brought out the man.
You saw the strength inside me,
That I'd lost so long ago.
You shared with me your future,
And you taught me how to grow.
You saw that boy and broke the chain.
You showed me I had more to gain.
You brought a calmness to my brain,
And brought an end to years of pain.
You stoked the flame inside me,
Using embers of your own.
And now I feel your presence,
Even when I'm all alone.
I feel the fingerprints you left,
Upon that broken boy.
I see them in the gifts I give,
And when I'm feeling joy.
And when I'm feeling sadness,
I feel their presence, too.
'Cause now, I have a future,
And the strength to see it through.
These parts of me, I now adore.
The ones I hid away before.
I see your presence more and more.
A truth in me I won't ignore.
I find that now, when I look back,
I no longer feel numb.
I see the changes in my life,
And know there's more to come.
I'm working on my openness.
I'm letting my voice speak.
I have more confidence each day,
To stand in pride, not sneak.
I'm starting conversations now.
I'm letting people in.
I'm going out for drinks each month,
And don't feel trapped within.
Today, you think that I am great.
To that, I say, "Oh, just you wait."
Because of you, I won't stagnate.
I'll live the life you helped create.
4d ago
May 30, 2026 at 11:15 PM UTC
To say that without you, I'd be
The same as now, is not quite true.
To say it blunt and clear for all,
There'd be no me if not for you.
There'd be no roof above my head.
I'd live in nature, like a gnome.
136 is just a place,
So thanks for making it my home.
I hide away and live alone,
Afraid to draw the curtains back.
But there is no hiding from you,
Unless I wanna get a smack.
The one light constant through the years.
Your quiet kindness through my tears.
The one heart that still perseveres.
And somehow calms my deepest fears.
You've had hard times, it's safe to say.
The difficulties you've been through.
And yet, you're always there for all.
Spreading love is what you do.
When K was asking you for funds,
And your account was close to nil.
I saw that sadness in your eyes,
"If I don't help, then who else will?"
It's not your job to fix the world,
And yet you do it with such grace.
As if ordained by God himself.
A beacon in the darkest place.
You somehow still found time for me.
You saw my fears and dragged me free.
I'm thankful, beyond joy and glee.
In ways too vast for poetry.
The few good deeds I've done for you,
Are trivial at best.
A very easy price to pay,
To know that I am blessed.
When J needs help with all their mess,
As they can't see the floor.
You're already in full game face,
By the time you've touched the door.
You're the capstone and foundation.
Last to leave and first to show.
The words I need to thank you,
I can't find, nor ever know.
Your fire burns forever bright,
But sadness comes to hog the light.
I fear the days you're out of sight.
The warmth that holds me close at night.
I see the good you do the world,
Despite the costs you pay.
It gives me hope as I strive on,
To match your acts one day.
I feel your generosity,
In simple acts I do.
That part of me that reaches out,
Is all because of you.
You reach beyond my senses,
With the care that's in your voice.
I feel the love you always spread.
I mimic it by choice.
Within the man, you helped repair.
Within the deeds, I hope to share.
I see the truth of what is there.
Your inspiration. Everywhere.
4d ago
May 30, 2026 at 7:07 PM UTC
You thank me all the time, you do.
You make it seem like I lose out.
But this is just the start of what,
I'd like to really talk about.
I'd like to note all that you've done.
I'd like to go back to the start.
To list the things you've offered me.
Your time. Your home. And then, your heart.
I'd like to thank you for it all.
But time, eternal, can't contain,
The vastness of the gratitude,
I feel and know, in soul and brain.
As you read on, i hope you'll see,
The truth behind this poetry.
So, here's the start of what's to be,
An epic tale of you and me.
Your first appearance. Nathan's house.
When yugioh was social glue.
I would've thanked you if I'd known,
The future that I'd have with you.
When you suggested a new job,
And pressured B to ask around.
Your push to make me live for more,
Helped get my finance off the ground.
"Well, now you work with B", you said,
"You may as well come live with us.
It saves you from that ****** flat,
And stops you waiting for the bus."
While others let me fade unseen,
You appeared in the space between.
Through all of it, you've always been,
The person that makes me feel seen.
I won't thank you for statements, vague.
That goes against my core intent.
You need to know that what I say,
Is EXACTLY what I meant.
You've seen my weakness and my strength.
You've seen the parts of me I hide.
And yet, with open arms (and legs),
You've always been right by my side.
You never made me earn your trust,
Or made me fight to win your grace.
You've always said "just come right here."
In your home (or on your face).
Through force of habit, I will say,
That at my weakest, "I'm okay."
But you'll approach, while others stay,
And sit with me through that dark day.
Not everything you do is grand.
The small things often mean the most.
They move through me as if your acts,
Are sponsored by the Holy Ghost.
You message me: "Thinking of you."
That's a phrase I hear, so rare.
Time and time and time again,
You show me that I have you there.
You made me feel included in,
A family that wasn't mine.
You showed me my potential in
A world that wouldn't see me shine.
I'm thankful that when I feel numb,
Like I'm a trodden stick of gum,
This world may leave me cold and glum,
But there you are, and you say "come."
6d ago
May 28, 2026 at 5:23 PM UTC
Its cold and its raining
But you've asked to meet once more
I will show up and be there for you
But this has happened before
I'm in the cab and on my way
You let the grateful thanks pour
"(You) couldn't cope without (me)"
But you've said that before
I'm nearly there, but you stop texting
I arrive cold and wet at your door
No answer to my knock, text or call
But you've done this before
The river flowing down the road
As I treat this curb like the shore
Taking a seat with my feet in the ocean
But I've sat here before
An hour has passed and now I must go
I'm soaked and blue to the core
Next time ... next time I'll make it you faster
But we've ... I've been here before
Nov 24, 2022
Nov 24, 2022 at 11:33 AM UTC
I know that you've forgiven him,
For beating you at first,
For choking you against that wall,
In that violent outburst.
I've heard you justify his rage,
And play down his abuse,
"He'd had a rough upbringing"
But I reject that excuse!
You say "It only happened once",
You say "I made a stand",
But since that day I see new marks,
And imagine his backhand.
I know that you still love him,
And you've sacrificed so much,
But I fear the day his actions,
Leave you walking with a crutch.
I fear the day he breaks your spirit,
The day he breaks your arm,
The day that its too late to help,
To stop him causing harm.
I know you'd never testify,
Which leaves me with one choice.
To break the one you love because
You will not use your voice.
I know you'll hate and disown me,
You'll scream and push and shove.
Forever I will wait for you
To forgive me too, my love.
Jan 2, 2022
Jan 2, 2022 at 8:59 PM UTC
COVID.
Another reason to lock the doors and die alone
Nov 12, 2020
Nov 12, 2020 at 8:43 PM UTC
I would rather struggle to live my life
Than make those who care struggle to accept my death
For now
Nov 12, 2020
Nov 12, 2020 at 3:08 PM UTC
As I awake
There's no mistake
I dreamt of you tonight.
Your cheeky grin
Your gentle skin
Your eyes a full delight
You're full of fun
And number one
For beauty on this earth
So **** too
And if you knew
You'd realise your worth
When on my mind
You soon will find
A stiffness start to grow
My breath gets deep
As if I sleep,
My hands start to clench low.
I start to lust
For your sweet bust
Beside me as I lay.
So as I stand
With no day planned
"What you up to today?"
Jul 28, 2020
Jul 28, 2020 at 2:21 PM UTC
Candle 1
Part 1
A lonely standing candle
Burning slow and dancing free.
It flickers light across the room
On a naked, you and me.
Our eyes are locked together,
Shadows dancing everywhere.
I lightly graze your cheekbone
As I brush aside your hair.
Your lips quiver in waiting,
Sending shivers to your toes.
Your breath begins to quicken
As our distance starts to close.
Oxytocin fills your body
And you feel yourself set free
As you feel my lips make contact,
And surrender yours to me.
Part 2
Soft and warm as candlelight.
Moist as summer rain.
Our lips divide for one last breath
Before they join again.
A rush now overcomes us
As they merge together fast.
Our teeth, like little soldiers
As our tongues race to get past.
Your arms grab my head tightly
As they don't want me to leave.
My beard tickles you slightly
As our heads just bob and weave.
As the candle wick burns lower,
My lips lower down your skin.
First the neck and then the chest.
Let the escapade begin.
Part 3
With my lips above your cleavage
My hands graze along your side,
'Til they softly cup your *******
Which are beautiful and wide.
You feel a soft massage start as
Your underboob is tight.
My lips stil slowly falling
'Til your ******* are in sight.
Your fingers knotted in my hair,
Your legs around my waist.
As my tongue begins to circle
Before getting its first taste.
A quiet moan as my lips kiss
And **** upon your nips.
A few more moments, then it's time
To move down to your hips.
Part 4
This candle, nearly finished,
So, the lower I must get.
Your leg lock loosens on me
As you start to pant and sweat.
It starts with long sweet kisses,
Then a jiggle of the ****
As my arms lock round your thighs and
Pull my face right into it.
My fingers spread you open
As I take on one last breath.
And dive in to taste the sweet treat,
'Til ****** or death.
A loud moan and long shiver
As my tongue now finds its mark.
And so, the candle burns away,
With us breathless in the dark.
Candle 2
Part 1
You light a second candle
And announce that it's my turn.
That I should lay upon my back
And let this candle this burn.
This view of you beside the light,
I simply, cannot speak.
My eyes and jaw snap open as
My muscles all fall weak.
Half lit by waltzing ambers, while,
The shadows claim the rest.
Not to jump up now and take you
Is a difficult request.
My time to wait is over as
You join me on the floor.
Making sure that as you fall our
Yearning lips collide once more.
Part 2
The wave of kissing deepens.
Your hand scrapes me as it falls.
First, my chest, and then my abs,
And then it ends up on my *****
Our mouths pay no attention to
What's happening below.
As your hand now grips my shaft and
Starts the rhythm off real slow.
My wood becomes pure iron as
I feel your tempo surge.
And my breath becomes more stuttered
As you hold me on the verge.
You kindly ease down on your pace
And pull from one last kiss.
And as your head gets lower down
I know I'll enjoy this.
Part 3
You lick along the shaft and then
You loosen up your grip,
As your eyes engage my member
And you spit upon the tip.
Your mouth now claims it's dinner
As you gobble up my taint
And the sudden ******* motion
Makes me start to feel all faint
The slurping noises louden as
Your neck goes to and fro
With each mouthful getting deeper
As you find a steady flow.
My fingers link around your hair.
Your throat feels my quick ******
Then while you gag and catch your breath
You turn and then adjust
Part 4
Your lip service keeps coming
As you keep your stable pace.
The only difference now is that
You're sitting on my face.
My mouth now back to action as
My tongue begins to weave.
My hands spread your cheeks open so
My nose has space to breathe.
Your flattened ******* lay dormant as
Your **** now starts to twerk.
And you grind your **** pumpum
Over one ecstatic smirk.
Our need for foreplay, over,
As we finish on our snack,
As the candle wax runs empty and
The room returns to black
Candle 3
Part 1
I vanish in the darkness and
You roll onto your spine.
You hear the sound of a match strike,
And see the candle shine.
You see me jump towards you as
You spread your legs apart.
You giggle as you clearly see
I cannot wait to start.
Your lips begin to open as
My tip begins to breach.
My arms hold on your waist as you
Soon lose the skill of speech.
The steadfast pump continues with
No need to yet go fast.
Let us endure every moment
As we feel each second last.
Part 2
Your eagerness is striking as
You push me to the ground.
As you start the task of riding
And regain the gift of sound.
Your moaning echoes round us as
You struggle to pronounce,
Now your pace sets out to quicken
And your ******* commence to bounce.
As your stamina decreases you
Decide to turn about.
And you pull a full 180
Without letting me slip out.
You then continue bouncing with
More power in each ******
As our minds are lost to time and
Our control is lost to lust.
Part 3
I sternly lean you forward then
I kneel behind your rear.
Quickly getting back to business
But I take it up a gear.
I hold on tightly with both hands.
You feel me deep inside.
As your ******* hang low and jiggle on
With each and every stride.
Your head now rests on your crossed arms.
No strength to hold your pose.
As the ramming still continues
In the dimly lit shadows.
Our breaths are long and staggered with
Our bodies drenched in sweat.
So I choose to change position as
It isn't over yet.
Part 4
I lift you to the wall and hold
My fingers to your throat,
As I resume the insertion
And your brain begins to float.
A gasp of air revives you as
My hand loosens its grip.
But an intense rush consumes you
As you start to twitch and drip.
I let you sit upon the floor
And offer out my *****
You swiftly take it in your mouth
And suckle on this load.
A ****** overcomes me and
I blow inside your jaw.
As the light begins to flicker
And the candle burns no more.
Candle 4
Part 1
The final wick ignited as
Together, we lay still.
The time of action, over as
We both have had our fill.
Our ribcages expanding as
Our lungs almost break out.
Overworked and undernourished as
We rest from our workout.
Your head is resting on my arm,
Your eyes stare at my chest.
They mark out a new spot for you
To use as an armrest.
A light cascade of fingertips
Caress across my side
As your hand takes its position
At the place that you had eyed.
Part 2
I see your cheeky smile as
I feel your tickle too
As i let out a quick giggle
And then try to tickle you.
A quick under and over as
Your hand comes up to block
Within moments it is over
As our fingers clasp and lock.
A sudden change of vibe now as
Our pupils lock as one.
As we both, within this moment,
Have been hit with shock and stun.
Our heads both drawn together as
We again lose control.
As our lips are reunited
And our tongues start their patrol.
Part 3
With our bodies spent and aching
The smooch doesn't last too long
As you lift your head and smile at
The thought of nothing wrong
I can see the candle dancing as
Your eyes reflect its glow
As our hands continue clutching as
We both will not let go.
My brain records this moment that
I never will forget.
How beautiful you look right now
Still covered in your sweat.
You rest your head below my neck,
An ear upon my frame.
As you listen to my heartbeat
And you hear it call your name.
Part 4
Your eyelids start to weaken and
Your breaths start to extend
Soon you feel your body slipping
And your consciousness, transcend.
A light snore soon escapes you and
I cannot help but grin,
As I don't want to disturb you
As you sleep upon my skin.
My arm is dead and stinging so
I try to change my stance.
I slide it out as I try not
To wake you up by chance.
I cuddle up beside you as
The room goes void of light.
I kiss your hair and then I wish
Sweet dreams for you tonight.
Mar 14, 2020
Mar 14, 2020 at 5:31 AM UTC
I can feel it rising up
I can feel it becoming a part of me
A waking morning thought
And a soothing night's dream.
Too easily do I end up here
This clifftop peak of potential joy
Too simply do I jump without harness
And too simply do I fall without hope.
All it takes is a smile
A good laugh and a set of *******
Then I'm drawn in like a dead fish
In the proverbial toilet bowl
It's funny how often I jump
How often I convince myself of reciprocation
But the truth is I'm ugly
Ugly in sight, in conversation and in company
I have a quick wit but a slow start
Silence is a majority in my life
So I choose this time to stop
To walk away before humiliation
She is beautiful, funny, happy
I'm quiet, slow and stiff
She lives with fairies in the clouds
I live with worms in the dirt
So I shall stay here and live
Avoid public announcements and actions
Avoid the weening possibility of joy
For the reality of loneliness
At least here I'm safe
Sep 4, 2019
Sep 4, 2019 at 4:10 PM UTC