She told me she kept all the letters.
She still has them, maybe in a box somewhere
Under the bed, the pages yellowed and fading.
And maybe they promised that when they were old
They would sit down and read them together
And laugh at their younger selves and how
She still can’t decipher his handwriting
After all these years.
And he’ll imagine the scribbles into the words
He wrote in a fit of long distance love
And read them aloud to her in the same voice
He used to proof-read
Before he sealed them with a kiss
And put them in the mail
Twelve-hundred miles
Louisiana to Upstate New York.
He was from down south
A rebellious, liberal genius
In a world of bigoted racists
Living in another frame of mind.
She was from New York,
Another time, another life,
But the same frame of mind
As the boy she met by some bizarre coincidence
In the city of angels
Which may or may not have guided them
Which may or may not have wished them on
Which may or may not have taken him away.
They met once
But it was enough
To keep those handwritten letters flowing back and forth
Across states, passed along by people oblivious
To the potential that they held in their hands
Getting heavier with each crossing.
Addresses changed, parents’ homes to college dorms
Just as far away, but just as close to their hearts
As they had been in high school.
And when they met again, they felt their last letters in their hands
And realized letters weren’t sufficient any more
And the packages of potential, carried across states by strangers, finally passed
From hand to hand
As hand and hand connected
And pulled them across states
To meet in the middle at an alter
And vow to never part again.
Papers piled on top of letters,
Two new birth certificates, two children’s drawings
As indecipherable as his handwritten scribbles
But just as meaningful.
And she looked on as the boys grew up, two of the only angels
That she ever believed in.
Because who can believe in angels
When they take one of yours away
The one you met in their city
The one who flew letters across miles and miles
Just to lift your spirits
Into a kind of heaven that few people ever know
Until it’s taken away
Too young to die
Too young to leave her
Too young to leave his kids
Who are old enough to feel the grief
But too young to fight it.
And they cry as the doctors unplug the machines
Leaving the broken mind to float away
And she comforts them
Because she knows no comfort herself
And she doesn’t know what else to do with herself
Except get her kids ready in the morning
And go to work with the fake smile she’s keeps forgetting to take off before she goes to bed
Because now there’s no one there to remind her.
And she still has the letters, sitting in a box under her bed
Yellowed and crumpled.
She told me she hasn’t gone through them.
But why would she,
When she now has no one to help her decipher the scribbles,
No one to sit on the bed beside her, an arm around her shoulder
To recite them from memory
As if he wrote them yesterday.
No one to laugh as she looks over the reading glasses that she never needed
Twenty years ago
And whisper in her ear
That the decade old, faded, unreadable pencil mark
Still meant “I love you”
After all these years.
Apr 30, 2014
Apr 30, 2014 at 5:26 PM UTC
Return and
Resurface
To tell us that our
Lives our worthless
Our doubt will
Set fire
To our dreams and
Our desires
We fight but
For nothing
There’s no sound
When you’re listening
For answers
To questions
Screamed into a
Vast oblivion
And where were
You when I
Asked your gods
To let me die
Gibberish
Promises
Pleas to all those
Cold and heartless
If you loved
Me truly
Would you let them
Cut right through me
Or would you
Cover me
Just one more
Broken body
The question
Still remains
How many more
Wailing refrains
Till my mind
Is empty
And I’ve released
The enemy
Just one more
Verse till we
Can fade away
So quietly
Black background
Senselessness
Just echoes
In the darkness
Return and
Resurface
To tell us that our
Lives our worthless
Our doubt will
Set fire
To our dreams and
Our desires
Mar 30, 2014
Mar 30, 2014 at 12:23 AM UTC
With both my eyes closed
Senses sharpen, colors fade
Howl at the moon.
Dec 23, 2013
Dec 23, 2013 at 5:48 PM UTC
Solid as a ghost,
You couldn't be more spectral...
Unless you were dead.
Dec 23, 2013
Dec 23, 2013 at 5:47 PM UTC
Your eyes were
Fixed on the page;
My eyes were
Lost in the night sky.
But every now and then,
You would read my name,
The moon turned to your face
And we held the gaze,
The quickly looked away-
Wishing glances read
As easily as poetry,
But only making out
Nameless constellations.
Dec 23, 2013
Dec 23, 2013 at 5:46 PM UTC
A whole new world
Spins slowly on its axis
In the vast galaxy only found
Within the eyes of the one
Staring back at you
Across infinite inches.
Dec 23, 2013
Dec 23, 2013 at 5:44 PM UTC
The road was long
There was no end
Solitude
My only friend
There were no shadows
Only the light
Blinding me
Until the night
But in the night
I could see again
And I saw everything in color
The way it should have been
But the colors ran together
Became the light
And I was lost again in whiteness
Until the night
I lost the path
I couldn’t see
Where the light ends
And becomes me
And where I am
Becomes more clear
A dark outline
When night is near
But in the night
I could see again
And I saw everything in color
The way it should have been
But the colors ran together
Became the light
And I was lost again in whiteness
Until the night
One night the dark
Didn’t return
And the light
Began to burn
It burned my soul
And made me see
The brightest light
The death of me
In the night
I could see again
I saw everything in color
The way it should have been
But when the darkness in my life
Was lost to me
I lost everything inside
So dear to me
I lost everything inside
That I was meant to be.
Aug 17, 2013
Aug 17, 2013 at 11:16 PM UTC
Dear American Dream,
Where’d you go?
I can’t see you
Through all the black smoke.
Are you hiding behind
The soldiers and
The innocent lives
That we take
Each and every day?
And they say
That there’s even a reason
There saying
Something about freedom.
I’m calling for you
But you can’t hear me
Over the screams
Of people crying for equality.
Crying out for mercy
We’re all run by the companies.
And I don’t use the word “evil” lightly,
But minimum wage isn’t
Enough to raise a family.
You can’t even raise a family
If you call yourself gay.
Yeah, this is what we call equality
Here in the USA.
Another killing on the news
Every other day.
But we can’t seem to figure out
How to take the guns away.
So children are dying
And we all look the other way.
How is this okay?
But there’s so much arguing
I can’t seem to get a word in
About how all the people
Who are trying to sneak in
To escape all the violence
In their homeland
Are being persecuted,
Dreams of a better life, executed.
But isn’t that what America stands for?
Getting a new chance, getting to start over.
But it seems that only the rich, white men
Are the ones who even get a chance.
Isn’t that kind of racist?
And classist? And sexist?
What kind of horrible joke is this?
America, the melting ***
Like oil and water,
The rich men come out on top.
I could go on forever
But I got my point across.
We gotta make things right
Before we’re all lost.
It won’t be easy for any of us,
Especially the President in the White House.
He’s doing what he can
But it’s just not enough.
So we’ve gotta stand together
And shape up.
We’re at the bottom,
So the only way out is up.
Dear American Dream,
It seems to me
This generation’s playing a giant game
Of hide and seek.
But we will find you.
One day we’ll find you
Raise you up on our shoulders
And restore you
To what you used to be.
That’s the way
We’re gonna make this country free.
That is when this country
Finally
Will be free.
Apr 2, 2013
Apr 2, 2013 at 9:23 PM UTC
I’m withering from lack
Of your touch
From sudden withdrawal
Of your sunshine caress.
My skin is under
Solitary confinement
And you are far,
Far, far away.
In the darkness
I scrape the edges
Trying to find
A part of me.
A part of me
That doesn’t
Need your hand,
Need your touch
Tearing, scraping
Cutting away the fine lines
Until the rips
Become kisses
The cuts
Become caresses
The razor
Replacing you.
Mar 30, 2013
Mar 30, 2013 at 5:26 PM UTC
If you could only see
What you did for me.
You knocked me down
And flattened me,
So I raise me up
And strengthen me –
You're inadvertently
Making me love you
For hating me.
Feb 25, 2013
Feb 25, 2013 at 9:46 PM UTC