tatieonna-destiny-mcneese

Love is being comfortable enough to sleep in their car while they drive you home. Love is not being afraid of silence between you and that person. Love isn't butterflies and sweaty palms. It's safety.You'll feel love. It might not come in the form of a lover. It could come in the form of a friend or a kind heart, but you will feel love. It will wrap its arms around you while you cry yourself to sleep. I will rub your hand under the table when you're nervous. It will be proud of you and everything you do. Love will kiss your heart with its words. It will dance with you while you trip over its feet. Love will let you borrow it's jacket because it's cold. Love with take you to its favorite spot. Love with kiss you with enough fire to ignite every forest in its wake. Love will not leave you uncertain. It will let you know how much you mean to it. Love will adore you.

0

Mar 31, 2016

Mar 31, 2016 at 9:50 AM UTC

tatieonna-destiny-mcneese

"Tatieonna, what is your definition of love?"

Love is being comfortable enough to sleep in their car while they drive you home. Love is not being afraid of silence between you and that person. Love isn't butterflies and sweaty palms. It's safety.You'll feel love. It might not come in the form of a lover. It could come in the form of a friend or a kind heart, but you will feel love. It will wrap its arms around you while you cry yourself to sleep. I will rub your hand under the table when you're nervous. It will be proud of you and everything you do. Love will kiss your heart with its words. It will dance with you while you trip over its feet. Love will let you borrow it's jacket because it's cold. Love with take you to its favorite spot. Love with kiss you with enough fire to ignite every forest in its wake. Love will not leave you uncertain. It will let you know how much you mean to it. Love will adore you.

1

If someone were to ask me where my favorite place to watch the stars was, I would say “in his eyes.” Not because there were no stars in the sky for me to see, but because his eyes outshine any star that could have been up there. I have never been with someone who could make me feel so alive just by holding my hand. I have never held someone's hand so tightly before; as if I thought at any second he could be taken away from me, and of course he could have, but in that moment there was no way I was going to let that happen. It was a stiff climb to admire artwork, and I could have admired a masterpiece on the ground. “dance with me?” The cement wall read. I would have danced with him until the sun came up. There were so many ways he could make me feel free. Throwing rocks into the water with so much force; I was letting out aggression that came from me trying so hard to figure out what he wanted. He is so complex, and I never know where I stand. We ran like children holding hands. I slid so comfortably into his front seat. That's when I knew. I knew then that he was what I wanted. It wasn't perfect. He's not perfect in others eyes, but in mine he is the definition, and I have accepted he has flaws, but those are what help make up him. When he kissed me it was like standing in my favorite spot on the beach during the summer time. When he kissed me it was like hanging my feet out the window listening to music loudly in the car. When he kissed me it was like happiness. I fell in love the way waves crash against the shore. It was fast and terrifying, but it was also natural; it was meant to happen.

0

Mar 31, 2016

Mar 31, 2016 at 9:47 AM UTC

tatieonna-destiny-mcneese

Your First Love Poem

If someone were to ask me where my favorite place to watch the stars was, I would say “in his eyes.” Not because there were no stars in the sky for me to see, but because his eyes outshine any star that could have been up there. I have never been with someone who could make me feel so alive just by holding my hand. I have never held someone's hand so tightly before; as if I thought at any second he could be taken away from me, and of course he could have, but in that moment there was no way I was going to let that happen. It was a stiff climb to admire artwork, and I could have admired a masterpiece on the ground. “dance with me?” The cement wall read. I would have danced with him until the sun came up. There were so many ways he could make me feel free. Throwing rocks into the water with so much force; I was letting out aggression that came from me trying so hard to figure out what he wanted. He is so complex, and I never know where I stand. We ran like children holding hands. I slid so comfortably into his front seat. That's when I knew. I knew then that he was what I wanted. It wasn't perfect. He's not perfect in others eyes, but in mine he is the definition, and I have accepted he has flaws, but those are what help make up him. When he kissed me it was like standing in my favorite spot on the beach during the summer time. When he kissed me it was like hanging my feet out the window listening to music loudly in the car. When he kissed me it was like happiness. I fell in love the way waves crash against the shore. It was fast and terrifying, but it was also natural; it was meant to happen.

8

I like the look in your eyes after we kiss The feeling of goosebumps on your skin when I graze your chest kills me I like to know I can't do that to you I like to know I can make you feel alive in ways other people can't Heavy breathing as you eagerly devour my lips Finger prints on my back because you hold onto me so tightly For fear I'm going to be taken from you But nobody can make my body quiver like you can I am entirely yours Your lips draw pictures on my skin Turning me into your masterpiece And you sign your name I love you

0

Feb 2, 2016

Feb 2, 2016 at 10:03 AM UTC

tatieonna-destiny-mcneese

Lust

I like the look in your eyes after we kiss The feeling of goosebumps on your skin when I graze your chest kills me I like to know I can't do that to you I like to know I can make you feel alive in ways other people can't Heavy breathing as you eagerly devour my lips Finger prints on my back because you hold onto me so tightly For fear I'm going to be taken from you But nobody can make my body quiver like you can I am entirely yours Your lips draw pictures on my skin Turning me into your masterpiece And you sign your name I love you

13

Now when I say your name it feels like fire on my tongue The lips that you once kissed tremble with sadness I am haunted by the memories I can't seem to forget I am burdened with the hope you keep instilling in me whenever you look my way I am crazy to think you regret the chance you did not take But once in awhile I see the sorrow I am feeling reflected in your brown green eyes My hands are cold because they grew use to you holding them whenever you had the chance My mind is full of all the things I could say out loud to you But now that you are gone they sit there and torture me with their complexity I cry when I see a sky without stars because I no longer have you to help me make something just as beautiful as the ***** of gas that usually litter the sky Help me to understand why I was not worth the risk? Please let me comprehend why I was not something you wanted to discover. You take so many chances Jump into so many situations But I was the one you had to pass up on And now I have to lay in my cold bed and wonder what I could have offered that would have made you want me What more could I have given to get you try to be with me? You were a fleeting moment And I know that I will never get to relive you But **** if I don't try to.

0

Jan 17, 2016

Jan 17, 2016 at 3:48 PM UTC

tatieonna-destiny-mcneese

What More Could I Have Offered?

Now when I say your name it feels like fire on my tongue The lips that you once kissed tremble with sadness I am haunted by the memories I can't seem to forget I am burdened with the hope you keep instilling in me whenever you look my way I am crazy to think you regret the chance you did not take But once in awhile I see the sorrow I am feeling reflected in your brown green eyes My hands are cold because they grew use to you holding them whenever you had the chance My mind is full of all the things I could say out loud to you But now that you are gone they sit there and torture me with their complexity I cry when I see a sky without stars because I no longer have you to help me make something just as beautiful as the ***** of gas that usually litter the sky Help me to understand why I was not worth the risk? Please let me comprehend why I was not something you wanted to discover. You take so many chances Jump into so many situations But I was the one you had to pass up on And now I have to lay in my cold bed and wonder what I could have offered that would have made you want me What more could I have given to get you try to be with me? You were a fleeting moment And I know that I will never get to relive you But **** if I don't try to.

20

last night i found out there is no such thing as running out of tears laying in bed i realized i won't get over you this feeling won't end it may die down i might stop crying every night before i go to sleep but there will always be a stab in my chest when i see you i will always lose my appetite when i think of you and my dreams of you will always leave me in agony when i wake up ~Tatieonna Destiny

0

Jan 8, 2016

Jan 8, 2016 at 9:35 AM UTC

tatieonna-destiny-mcneese

lonely

last night i found out there is no such thing as running out of tears laying in bed i realized i won't get over you this feeling won't end it may die down i might stop crying every night before i go to sleep but there will always be a stab in my chest when i see you i will always lose my appetite when i think of you and my dreams of you will always leave me in agony when i wake up ~Tatieonna Destiny

15

I liked us so much more when we are not worrying about what is going to happen tomorrow I like the way it felt when you held my hand My head against your chest Hearing the sound of your beautiful heart beating I have never felt so safe Until you held me so tightly in your arms I don't know what to do God ****** I don't know what to say I wish that you would follow your heart and leave your mind in the dark Because your mind will hold you back from something you need to experience Honey you are so afraid And sometimes fear is a good thing But sometimes fear can hold you back from a good thing I think us would be a good thing You and I could be a great thing But you have to let it be a great thing I am so ready But you are still not ready to let go And try I will wait Because there is no one I would rather be with in this moment No one I would rather have kiss my lips It's only you Right now it's only going to be you

0

Jan 5, 2016

Jan 5, 2016 at 10:20 AM UTC

tatieonna-destiny-mcneese

Please Live In Today

I liked us so much more when we are not worrying about what is going to happen tomorrow I like the way it felt when you held my hand My head against your chest Hearing the sound of your beautiful heart beating I have never felt so safe Until you held me so tightly in your arms I don't know what to do God ****** I don't know what to say I wish that you would follow your heart and leave your mind in the dark Because your mind will hold you back from something you need to experience Honey you are so afraid And sometimes fear is a good thing But sometimes fear can hold you back from a good thing I think us would be a good thing You and I could be a great thing But you have to let it be a great thing I am so ready But you are still not ready to let go And try I will wait Because there is no one I would rather be with in this moment No one I would rather have kiss my lips It's only you Right now it's only going to be you

25

the first time i prayed i was 4 i asked god to not let father hurt mother but the next morning i walked into the kitchen greeted by pancakes and my mother with a black eye i remember how mad i was at father for hurting my mother at mother for staying there at myself for not helping when i heard the yelling at 3 am and at god himself for not protecting my mother my precious mother mother took me to church every sunday and at 5 years old the pastor dunked me in a pool full of water he said he was washing away my sins and i remembered how hard i cried when i lied to my mother the next day about putting away my toys because now all the sin was back and i was scared i would never get a chance to wash it away again but the truth is it never left at 6 years old my father took me to church on sunday instead of my mother he said she didn't feel good i watched as my father walked to the front of the church when everyone began to leave to go home and he began to scream and cry and pound his fists on the aulter then he walked back to me when he had finished taking my hand and bringing me home my mother was awake when we returned and she greeted me with a hug trying her best to cover up the bruise on her left cheek with make-up when i was 7 years old i was startled awake by the sound of yelling coming from the kitchen i had decided that this was it i needed to do something so i got out of bed and walked into the kitchen to confront my father when i walked into the kitchen i raised myself to be as tall as i could manage but i didn't even get to speak before i felt his hand across my cheek at 8 years old i sat in my room father was gone but there were still men in the house because my mother had to find love somewhere i just wasn't enough when i was 10 years old my mother introduced me to a man and that was strange because she had never introduced me to one of her men before they are married now but i could never love him when i was 11 my mother dropped me off at school and i was sat in front of a boy with brown floppy hair he tugged on the end of my pony tail and i turned around and hit his hand the teacher sat me at a table by myself and i began to pray that was the day i was told it was not appropriate to pray in school i was 13 and the boy who use to tug my ponytail now sends me love letters that i kept in a box under my bed i did not want anyone to see them not even my mother because they were mine and i prayed to god to let me keep the boy who signed every card with an x but when i was 14 the boy fell in love with the girl with the long blonde hair and the pretty blue eyes and i decided that god doesn't listen to me so i decided i would no longer pray at 15 the boy and i began talking again but it would never be the same because he always had his girl on his arm and the boy and i watch the stars and talk about the things we love and she is always on his list and he shows me his writing he writes about her a lot he tells me his dreams and she is always a part of them i am 16 years old and i am in love with the boy who pulled my hair and wrote me love letters and fell for another girl but now looks at me when he speaks his poems because his girl is too busy to show and holds my hand when he is shaky afterwards which is something she will never know and i told myself i wouldn't do this i told myself i wouldn't pray but now i just can't seem to help it i need you more than ever and every night before to sleep i pray for you to fall in love with me.

0

Dec 9, 2015

Dec 9, 2015 at 9:49 AM UTC

tatieonna-destiny-mcneese

Oh God

the first time i prayed i was 4 i asked god to not let father hurt mother but the next morning i walked into the kitchen greeted by pancakes and my mother with a black eye i remember how mad i was at father for hurting my mother at mother for staying there at myself for not helping when i heard the yelling at 3 am and at god himself for not protecting my mother my precious mother mother took me to church every sunday and at 5 years old the pastor dunked me in a pool full of water he said he was washing away my sins and i remembered how hard i cried when i lied to my mother the next day about putting away my toys because now all the sin was back and i was scared i would never get a chance to wash it away again but the truth is it never left at 6 years old my father took me to church on sunday instead of my mother he said she didn't feel good i watched as my father walked to the front of the church when everyone began to leave to go home and he began to scream and cry and pound his fists on the aulter then he walked back to me when he had finished taking my hand and bringing me home my mother was awake when we returned and she greeted me with a hug trying her best to cover up the bruise on her left cheek with make-up when i was 7 years old i was startled awake by the sound of yelling coming from the kitchen i had decided that this was it i needed to do something so i got out of bed and walked into the kitchen to confront my father when i walked into the kitchen i raised myself to be as tall as i could manage but i didn't even get to speak before i felt his hand across my cheek at 8 years old i sat in my room father was gone but there were still men in the house because my mother had to find love somewhere i just wasn't enough when i was 10 years old my mother introduced me to a man and that was strange because she had never introduced me to one of her men before they are married now but i could never love him when i was 11 my mother dropped me off at school and i was sat in front of a boy with brown floppy hair he tugged on the end of my pony tail and i turned around and hit his hand the teacher sat me at a table by myself and i began to pray that was the day i was told it was not appropriate to pray in school i was 13 and the boy who use to tug my ponytail now sends me love letters that i kept in a box under my bed i did not want anyone to see them not even my mother because they were mine and i prayed to god to let me keep the boy who signed every card with an x but when i was 14 the boy fell in love with the girl with the long blonde hair and the pretty blue eyes and i decided that god doesn't listen to me so i decided i would no longer pray at 15 the boy and i began talking again but it would never be the same because he always had his girl on his arm and the boy and i watch the stars and talk about the things we love and she is always on his list and he shows me his writing he writes about her a lot he tells me his dreams and she is always a part of them i am 16 years old and i am in love with the boy who pulled my hair and wrote me love letters and fell for another girl but now looks at me when he speaks his poems because his girl is too busy to show and holds my hand when he is shaky afterwards which is something she will never know and i told myself i wouldn't do this i told myself i wouldn't pray but now i just can't seem to help it i need you more than ever and every night before to sleep i pray for you to fall in love with me.

104

little girl why do you look so sad? you have a home a mom a dad little girl all by herself curses the world and everyone else little girl why do you cry? did he tell you he loved you then say goodbye? little girl fell for his games. pretty girl what a shame little girl she no longer reads because the endings always break her heart little girl caught up in another world little girl why do you scream in your head? her nightmares terrorize her in bed. little girl has stopped sleeping precious girl has stopped eating darling girl please don't break completely lovely girl don't stop breathing your life is more precious than you think little girl watches her blood flow down the sink little girl please hold on little girl please stay strong little girl with an ancient soul little girl please grow old little girl it will be alright little girl sleep well tonight tomorrow is another day she knows it will be filled with pain for a new start you cannot fix a broken heart little girl turns out the light little girl slept forever last night.

0

Dec 9, 2015

Dec 9, 2015 at 9:31 AM UTC

tatieonna-destiny-mcneese

little girl

little girl why do you look so sad? you have a home a mom a dad little girl all by herself curses the world and everyone else little girl why do you cry? did he tell you he loved you then say goodbye? little girl fell for his games. pretty girl what a shame little girl she no longer reads because the endings always break her heart little girl caught up in another world little girl why do you scream in your head? her nightmares terrorize her in bed. little girl has stopped sleeping precious girl has stopped eating darling girl please don't break completely lovely girl don't stop breathing your life is more precious than you think little girl watches her blood flow down the sink little girl please hold on little girl please stay strong little girl with an ancient soul little girl please grow old little girl it will be alright little girl sleep well tonight tomorrow is another day she knows it will be filled with pain for a new start you cannot fix a broken heart little girl turns out the light little girl slept forever last night.

54

if you were to love me i would love you more because you are the only goodness in this ****** up world your are the only light in this fog i struggle to see through everyday you are the reason i wake up in the morning and the reason i don't sleep at night you are in my dreams and nightmares you are the air i breath and i breath the best air while everyone else breaths in disease and pollution i breath life you are apart of me an ***** better yet, my brain without you i can not function properly no, my heart because without you i can not function at all if you were to love me i would love you more

0

Dec 9, 2015

Dec 9, 2015 at 8:39 AM UTC

tatieonna-destiny-mcneese

If You Were To Love Me

if you were to love me i would love you more because you are the only goodness in this ****** up world your are the only light in this fog i struggle to see through everyday you are the reason i wake up in the morning and the reason i don't sleep at night you are in my dreams and nightmares you are the air i breath and i breath the best air while everyone else breaths in disease and pollution i breath life you are apart of me an ***** better yet, my brain without you i can not function properly no, my heart because without you i can not function at all if you were to love me i would love you more

20

I mean, what do you want me to say? Do you want me to tell you that everything is ok now, that I am doing much better? Should I lie to spare your feelings? I feel the same way I have felt since the day you left, and I am starting to think that this feeling is never going to go away. This feeling of desertion and loneliness. I can crawl into the bed of a thousand men, and still feel as if I am caving in on myself because I’m so hollow on the inside. I don't want to feel this way. I mean nobody should want to feel this way, but I can't just scream at the top of my lungs for this intense aching to go away. Trust me, I have tried. I can't just lie in my room and cry away this wound that is in my heart, believe me when I tell you it doesn't work. I guess I could walk past you, and give you a smile, and I guess I could sit by you and laugh, just to make you feel ok. I am always trying to find a way to make you feel ok.

0

Nov 24, 2015

Nov 24, 2015 at 10:30 AM UTC

tatieonna-destiny-mcneese

I don't know what to do

I mean, what do you want me to say? Do you want me to tell you that everything is ok now, that I am doing much better? Should I lie to spare your feelings? I feel the same way I have felt since the day you left, and I am starting to think that this feeling is never going to go away. This feeling of desertion and loneliness. I can crawl into the bed of a thousand men, and still feel as if I am caving in on myself because I’m so hollow on the inside. I don't want to feel this way. I mean nobody should want to feel this way, but I can't just scream at the top of my lungs for this intense aching to go away. Trust me, I have tried. I can't just lie in my room and cry away this wound that is in my heart, believe me when I tell you it doesn't work. I guess I could walk past you, and give you a smile, and I guess I could sit by you and laugh, just to make you feel ok. I am always trying to find a way to make you feel ok.

1