It’s happening
This is it.
This is where it all changes.
This is the part I was dreading.
I’m sorry for all of it you know.
I don’t think I’ve said that enough.
You are a really important part of my life
I’m happy we met.
You helped me forget about the bad times and embrace the good ones.
I know I’ve said this as a joke here and there but I love you
and thank you.
May our memories never fade and we love like there’s no tomorrow...
.Goodbye.
Jul 19, 2020
Jul 19, 2020 at 11:34 PM UTC
I push people away.
I get sad that I’m alone but I push people away.
I do this to myself.
It’s all my fault.
Everything.
I wanna talk to someone but I won’t let myself.
In my head it’s like I’m a burden to everyone.
Like I annoy them.
I want to get better.
I just can’t.
Aug 24, 2019
Aug 24, 2019 at 11:29 PM UTC
I’m not good at speaking.
I never was and that will always be my flaw
Everyone will hate me because i can’t express myself
Can’t you see i’m trying?
Is it really that bad?
I’m trying my best to talk and express myself but no one gets it
I feel like i can’t speak anymore
Everything i say is the wrong thing
If i say anything remotely right it all goes downhill
Then today i had my teacher point out that i can’t spell and sometimes my brain just stops working
It's not okay
I’m not okay my brain will be slow but then it wont catch up
But then i can’t tell anyone because no one gets it
No one will understand
Then i’m just another girl begging for attentions bc i cant speak about what i'm feeling i can’t verbally say what's going through my mind because nothing comes out
Then they get upset with me because i can’t tell them right then and there what i'm feeling that i have to wait till they aren't in front of me that i have to text it and it'll be a long paragraph
Then
I hate myself for it
Bc i can't just be open about what i'm feeling bc i dont know what i'm feeling
And that's the hard part
Everyone wants me to know what i'm feeling so i can deal with it when that's the hardest thing i've been trying to do
Mar 26, 2019
Mar 26, 2019 at 8:53 PM UTC
It keeps hitting me like waves.
Sometimes i forget all about it then out of nowhere it all just starts crashing back. Two years amounted to nothing in the long run.
I was patient and understanding but i guess the little things got away from me too…
She seems happier.
It's what's better for her i can't stop that. She stopped loving me i should be fine.
I don't know why it still hurts so much.
I just want to get over her.
She was my everything now she's somebody that i used to know.
I want to stop feeling i want to hurt someplace other than emotionally.
I've really been holding myself back from punching the wall.
Two years.
How can you stop loving someone just like that?
Everything going through my head.
It's all telling me it's my fault.
I hate seeing her.
I hate not being with her.
I hate this. All of it.
I just want to stop feeling.
Dec 13, 2018
Dec 13, 2018 at 11:22 PM UTC
When you hear lonely you think of Someone alone in a room crying or feeling With no one beside them.
You think of a person that was once there But are now gone.
You think of the nights where they cried themselves to sleep.
But do you ever think of the days where they have to walk around like they are okay?
What about when they catch the scent of that person walking by.
Yes nights are difficult, sometimes you can’t sleep.
But the days,
Getting through those.
That’s the real challenge.
It’s instinct to hide everything inside.
You feel like you have to,
Like it’ll be better.
Who knows maybe it is.
Or maybe your killing yourself by not telling them.
Jul 26, 2018
Jul 26, 2018 at 3:04 AM UTC
Some people are used to feeling everything
Others feel nothing
I don't feel anything anymore
I feel like everyday I force myself just to smile
Sometime i find myself happy but it always fades
Everything fades
I wake up and find everything pointless
Music would be my escape
Now nothing works anymore
My life is pointless
Jul 18, 2018
Jul 18, 2018 at 9:52 PM UTC
Is it bad that I miss you?
I wake up and I miss you
Before I go to sleep I miss you
Every moment between then I miss you
What does that say about me?
I’m clingy?
I’m reliant and dependent...
I miss you
I love you
But do you miss me as much as I miss you?
You’ve become such a big part of me
But it’s easy for you not to talk to me...
Jun 8, 2018
Jun 8, 2018 at 1:22 PM UTC
I could never tell you
exactly what's going on inside my head,
so I'll write instead.
Drown my thoughts in paper & lead.
Keep my hands alive,
and my expression dead.
May 30, 2018
May 30, 2018 at 7:35 PM UTC
I don’t get it
I was having a good day
I was happy
I messed it up
I don’t even know why I said what I said
I was having a perfectly good day
I messed it up
I don’t know why she’s still with me
This isn’t the first time I’ve done this
I feel like I’m forcing her to stay
I’ve said sorry so many times,
I think it’s lost it’s meaning
We were really good
I messed up and went back to the old me
Laying in bed in the dark,
Listening to music,
And crying for no reason
I don’t know why I’m like this
I wish I wasn’t like this
I wish I wasn’t depressed
I wish I was moody
I wish I wasn’t me
May 28, 2018
May 28, 2018 at 5:42 PM UTC
I’m tired of it
I’m tired of wanting to cry and Not knowing why
I’m tired of the sadness ruining my day
I’m tired of being a burden to the people around me
I’m tired of being here
I just want to leave I want to be gone
I want to stop being tired
I just want to disappear
Apr 21, 2018
Apr 21, 2018 at 10:51 PM UTC