This is it, the way I've been waiting to feel since this year began. It's that kind of feeling you get close to the end of a really long, unforgettable movie, when you know everything's coming to a complete finish. The feeling is bitter and anxiety filled, but I have no real term to describe what this is. After it all, prom, graduation, summer break, I thought I would feel it, I believed I would, but now I wish I had just shut my senseless ******* mouth.. I want it all to go back to the way it was before.. I just need time to soak it all in
Sep 2, 2014
Sep 2, 2014 at 1:00 AM UTC
I have no idea
what I feel anymore
I don't understand why
I seem to be the way I am
I no longer can
tell what emotion is
even if I could feel any, and
none of it cares to make sense
I want to be near
other people and feel as
they feel for myself, to know I
still can and connect with them
But I'm constantly feeling
disconnected from myself and
regardless of what happens to me
I'll always feel as though myself is slowly
pulling away
Aug 22, 2014
Aug 22, 2014 at 2:21 AM UTC
In me I carry burden, regret,
and guilt from memories that
were planted in my mind a long
time ago and now seem hard to
forget.
They've grown roots which
attach to my nerves. Each move
I make I remind myself of what
I've done. Like a constant itch.
With passing days, and no
resolution to this madness the
roots begin to latch on tighter.
The plant grows stronger this
way.
Eventually, sanity will slip
completely leaving only the
plant to control what's left
of my vacant human shell.
Aug 8, 2014
Aug 8, 2014 at 3:14 AM UTC
So how did I become the kind of person that I am
By changing every part of me I couldn't understand
I wonder what I'll find inside the skin that I suspend
Or maybe what I've lost is more apparent in the end
And where is all the evidence I carried on my back
The weight of it has turned it into something inexact
A haziness pervading what I once believed to be
The only inconsistency I wanted to perceive
Secure in all my shakiness but never unaware
That I was going down a road that wasn't even there
And maybe in my head I thought I'd save a place for you
Until I came to realize that's something I can't do
Jul 28, 2014
Jul 28, 2014 at 2:32 AM UTC
Sometimes-
I wish you would look behind my eyes,
And listen to me when I'm silent.
I wish you would pick through my thoughts-
And automatically know how I feel.
I wish you could see the view I have of the world-
That I cannot explain out loud.
God, I wish you could see what I think,
When I'm silent.
Jul 27, 2014
Jul 27, 2014 at 1:07 PM UTC
Parents shield young child eyes
As elders clutch their beating chests
These people look at us and think
"Punks"
"Burn-outs"
"Delinquents"
"Youths"
"Always causing trouble where ever
they go"
I'm not a bad kid, honestly,
I'm just playing your part
Jul 25, 2014
Jul 25, 2014 at 4:40 AM UTC
Why
do you keep coming around
knowing I won't change?
Why tell me you love me
when you know I
can’t
love? I always tell you go,
but you stay. I tell you
we
can’t be together, that I
ruin things. And still, you’re
here. I can’t love you, I only
give love
away. To people who
couldn't care less about me...
Just give me a reason to love.
One
reason not to give up
on it, on us. Please stop, I
don’t want any-
more
of this. I just can’t love you. I
don’t think I ever will love you
the way you love me. But… I
could try. I mean, we all deserve a
chance.
Jul 20, 2014
Jul 20, 2014 at 3:31 PM UTC
What would you do,
if it all came back to you?
Hide everything in the
vacant slots of your mind
Leave it behind in a memory
of a friend you thought you knew
Or look back at the mess
and try to put it all together
To make sense out of
something that was real
Or was til it became a figment
of the past
Now, the question is irrelevant,
simply part of a prologue
to an even bigger body of literature
Jul 16, 2014
Jul 16, 2014 at 1:10 PM UTC