I'm sorry I'm worthless.
I can't stay up all night just wondering if we will be alright. What's on your mind?
The same bull **** you think about me?
I'm sick of wondering when your next breakdown will be.
I'm not out cheating but I might as well be. Because that's what you think of me.
Maybe I need to leave.
Hopefully you'll see how for granted you took me.
I finally see. I'm sick of trying to prove my love. Sick of never being enough. You've got trust issues but your ******
And I hope your not but I know your stuck.
The way you go about everyday accusing.
Not allowed to have friends, not allowed to make plans. Constant questions you just demand. 24/7 365. It's no surprise.
I don't want to feel despise. Just want you to realise you got me. But that's not enough to make This stop? Not enough sacrifice. Never enough to give up. Never be able to earn your trust. This just isn't fair. My words in and out the same ear.
Do you even care about how your accusations sting? I'm just out cheating. I might as well be because that's how you will always think.
Aug 14, 2015
Aug 14, 2015 at 1:02 PM UTC
I don't know if I want to live.
No matter what I do it's just the same ****
I've tried to rise up. Tried to put up a fight. But now it's done.
This is finally too much.
I think I may, I hope I might, pass in my sleep tonight. Numb from my endless worries. So sick from my insecurities.
Maybe your God will have some mercy. But he's gone out of his way to continually hurt me.
Please stop giving to just take more.
I swear my struggles have made my body ache and my mind sore.
Feb 26, 2015
Feb 26, 2015 at 8:08 AM UTC
I don't owe anyone an explanation,
I don't owe you a thing.
If something little bothers you so much.
I'll pack my bags and leave.
I won't give you that "it's not you, it's me" because honestly. Honestly I don't need anyone. Don't rely on anyone except me.
How could this be?
A love like ours is fleeting but being alone wouldn't bother me.
No one could ever understand or see.
We might be in love but that doesn't mean we are meant to be.
You can talk your **** baby.
I don't care lately.
Just keep saying you trust me but it seems fake lately.
Keep your opinions.
You don't make me. Me.
Feb 20, 2015
Feb 20, 2015 at 9:17 AM UTC
It's like clockwork, the angst finds me every day.
I try so hard to explain but you never understand me.
I don't want to live
I can't pretend I have more to give.
I'm not saying that this is it
But I can't think of a reason to dust myself off and finally just live.
Let live. But I gave in. I'm no man. Can't live and love when I can barely even stand.
Don't say I make you happy when I know your smile is pretend.
Feb 20, 2015
Feb 20, 2015 at 9:16 AM UTC
You did this
Don't dare place blame on me.
You trapped me in this sorry excuse for a home.
These are four walls I never leave.
This is not a home, this is a ******* prison cell to me.
You don't care so don't tell me.
"It's not that bad, your always so sad"
I'll tell you how dead I feel to get nowhere. But now I've made you mad.
I keep faking feeling alive just for the sake of you.
I'm not living my life because I was busy loving you.
But now it's too much and for you it's not enough.
I put you first in line for a ride of a lifetime.
I can't give what I don't have so don't ask for my heart.
Feb 20, 2015
Feb 20, 2015 at 9:15 AM UTC
I wish life would just finally decide to let me be happy or just leave me to die. How many days and how many times do I have to just deal and let these suicidal thoughts subside.
There's no magic in our hands there aren't any more sparks in our eyes.
Silly boy don't cry.
Everything is another ******* lie.
I'll decide if my life is worth this or if I'd rather die.
But will I have the courage to change everyone's lives. Leave you all behind
If given the choice, I choose to die.
Jan 13, 2015
Jan 13, 2015 at 2:13 PM UTC
Monday night.
The hour will come that we say our goodbyes.
I wish this didn't have to come my love.
The moment our embrace must end and I'll be driving for hours on end.
Just to see the sad face you make will be the death of me.
Keep me close.
Its 9 months away but I swear well be back together before you know.
Don't shed a tear.
Because I'm miles away but tonight I'm still here.
Christmas will come.
Through blizzard or ice I'll make it to you I swear. I'll be there.
Sep 23, 2014
Sep 23, 2014 at 7:51 AM UTC
I wish you would just come at me ************
You'll beg and plead.
The same way you made that poor defenseless disabled teen.
His cries haunt me and they make me wish I knew you.
So his tears would not be in vain.
You ******* bully.
How do you feel.
I hope your world crumbles down.
And I hope they find you beaten crippled to the ground.
I just wish you would come at me ************
Be real
Be sincere
Your ******** apology is falling on deaf ears.
Is your ego deflated now?
How did it feel to seem to be in control that night?
Well now your not
And i wish you would careen down my road.
So I could push and I could pull and ask you how your teeth feel against the curb.
Oh god the red I see will match the sight of your mouth.
Choking on your own teeth I hope its the last thing you eat.
I want to give you what you deserve.
Take the life you took for granted and watch your eyes lose they're light.
Aug 18, 2014
Aug 18, 2014 at 6:05 PM UTC
There is nothing for me here.
Just the constant reminder.
I'm alone in a house of strangers.
You don't know me.
I don't want to call this a home.
I just want to be on my way to being alone.
But I can't leave you.
I'm never comfortable with the yelling or constant worry of what I will see.
I just wish you knew for a second what it's like here for me.
But you won't take me seriously.
Making jokes about it doesn't make it better for me.
I can't hold a candle to most men. I'm trying to keep burn free but this hurts me.
I can't keep composure when there's nothing keeping me sane. The same sad face you make just makes me crazy.
Living here day by day seems
So
Arbitrary.
Jul 17, 2014
Jul 17, 2014 at 6:20 PM UTC
My pain is real and never ending it seems.
I've been drowning in my own malcontent. 364 days behind me and today I'm calling it quits.
No you won't miss me.
I'm coming to terms. I'll get what I deserve. I can't handle myself when I act like this. Every single mistake and every memory is clouding my judgement.
This is something that I can't take away.
There is a void I can't fill.
I thought I had your heart but now I'm filled with guilt.
I'm not who I should be.
Step up and leave.
But I'm so sorry that i can't be the man you need.
Your leaning on me but I'm crumbling.
Your counting on me but I'm still stumbling.
I can't be your anchor.
There's no wind left in my sails.
I won't make it too far.
I'm no longer your guiding star.
I'm busy trying to be a ship able to bring you to sea.
But I'll never be worthy.
I just can't be the man you need.
Jul 14, 2014
Jul 14, 2014 at 8:49 PM UTC