I don’t miss you.
I really don’t.
I miss the person the person I was with you.
I miss the person you pushed me to be.
I miss that you brought the best out of me.
I miss the fear you subjected my demons to.
Leaving me to be the best version of myself, for you.
Feb 13, 2021
Feb 13, 2021 at 3:20 AM UTC
If you could read my mind,
You’d see a thousand papers
Filled with broken poetries
And deadbeat proses
Full of woeful verses
With mournful pieces
Of unfinished stories
That are yet to be written
And failed to be spoken;
If you could read my mind,
You’d hear horrible screams
And earsplitting weeps
From shattered dreams,
Kept in a nasty notepad,
Scribbled on a bed
Of bloodstained words,
Ringing in my head.
If you could read my mind,
You’d see the shadows
That lurk within me;
You’d hear the bellows,
Screeching the words
“I’m tired,”
“I’m a failure,”
“I’m stupid –”
I know it sounds stupid,
It’s pathetically foolish
And seems like *******
If you could read my mind,
You’d feel the tears
I had ever failed to cry;
You’d see the people
That make the weak weaker;
You’d see the monsters
That consume my head;
You’d hear the hollers
That failed to be freed;
You’d see the heart
That still bleeds and bleeds.
If you could read my mind,
You’d see the face
I’ve failed to show back then,
The face I’ve faked back then.
If you could read my mind,
You’d see a character
I had ever failed to become
If you could read my mind,
You’d be able to read
A book you never wished
To touch and read,
But sometimes I still wish
Someone could read my mind.
Sep 25, 2019
Sep 25, 2019 at 11:01 PM UTC
i've given you my universe,
yet
the stars that illuminate in darkness,
the planets that fill the emptiness,
the sun that warms your soul,
and the unknown beauty surrounding it,
is not enough to complete your galaxy.
Sep 25, 2019
Sep 25, 2019 at 10:53 PM UTC
you attract me
there’s this force
unknown, strong and persisting
pulling me closer and closer
even with all my resisting
i beg you to stop
yield, let me go
i can see this void between us
the one i must fall into
spiral downwards and crash
change that which is my core
my spirit, my character
before i can be with you
but what kind of love is it really
if i must lose myself to find you.
Sep 21, 2018
Sep 21, 2018 at 12:38 AM UTC
The best poems are all about
loss and pain and suffering.
It feels more natural to write a poem
about a long lost memory,
Or a love that never worked.
Poets aren't allowed to be happy.
They’d run out of material to write about.
The words
content and happy
in the same sentence as the word
I'm,
feels like your tongue
never sitting right in your mouth,
like teeth getting in the way
when making out
like an itchy throat,
not going away even after coughing a fit.
The phrases
You are and my boyfriend
can't be a real sentence
like how
unicorns and fairytales
don't exist.
They just feel like
two jigsaw pieces
from different parts of the puzzle
forced to sit beside each other.
The word love
just doesn’t resonate
with the beat of my heart.
Maybe because
my heart stopped beating
a long time ago
and my brain had to carry the workload
so I think twice as much as I should
synonyms?
I overthink.
I may be the only poet
who doesn’t want to be happy;
a ********* clinging to heartbreak,
and loss and pain and suffering.
because it’s easier to let heartbreak
wrap myself in its familiar arms
than to experience an adventure
with happiness wrapped in mine.
Nov 1, 2017
Nov 1, 2017 at 1:11 AM UTC
i want you
in every way there is to want a person
from lazy rainy days
sitting around in underwear
wrapped up in the covers
enveloped in each other
to lustful late nights
high happy and in love
too absorbed with each other
to focus on anything else
i want you
and i see so much in you
that counting all your perfections
would be like counting the stars
there's too many to keep track of
and they just seem endless
i am utterly in love
with every inch of your being
every corner of your mind
and everything in between
i might not know what i believe
or where i'm going
or what i'm doing
but i do hope
you'll hold my hand
and wander blindly with me
because as long as i'm with you
i don't need a destination
you are the journey
i am simply enamored with your entity
captivated by your character
fascinated
infatuated
amorous
in love
Nov 1, 2017
Nov 1, 2017 at 1:08 AM UTC
I wanted to say you're worth a poem,
but a poem requires thought.
And I am no longer willing to let
you consume my mind.
You've created a monster,
and a monster,
I'm not willing to be.
The image of another man
loving your body the way I used to
boils my blood,
it drains me with rage.
But you are not worth my misery
I deserve better,
and better I will receive.
Nov 1, 2017
Nov 1, 2017 at 12:59 AM UTC
Being suicidal doesn't mean i'm going to **** myself
Being suicidal is having this unexplicable ache while you're living
It's waiting for your life to end, and wishing you didn't have to carry on
Having this ache, an incapability to feel happy living, doesn't mean that I am going to **** myself -
It just means I wouldn't mind dying.
Sep 21, 2017
Sep 21, 2017 at 10:21 AM UTC
User cannot be found.
I suppose it's better that way.
User cannot be found.
So I wouldn't try to say "Hey"
User cannot be found.
A hole grows larger in my heart.
User cannot be found.
This is absolutely tearing me apart.
User cannot be found.
I'm sustained by the memories I keep.
User cannot be found.
And by the dreams that haunt me in my sleep.
User cannot be found.
I hope you're doing alright.
User cannot be found.
And that someone is appreciating you, holding you tight.
HTTP 404 Not Found Error
Sep 19, 2017
Sep 19, 2017 at 7:24 AM UTC
confusion fills every inch within me
accompanied with endless questions
yet all unanswered
i lay in what feels like a vacant room
despite her body laying in the same bed
furthermost from my touch
the space between appears to be miles apart
i lay restless as she lays in deep sleep
the silence in the bedroom seems like an eternity
placing my thoughts in a continuous loop of doubt
replaying our previous conversation
the tone in her voice echoed a wasted breath
i'm left speechless
every emotion has paralyzed my body
i feel my heart pounding against my chest
along with amplified sounds of tears colliding against the pillow
i lay there in silence as the clock continuous to tick
and the small beams of sunlight begin to appear...
The sun continues on its daily routine
Sep 9, 2017
Sep 9, 2017 at 11:01 PM UTC