steaphan-markotanyby
Sydney, Australia
This is my sharing space, for my lowest of low, / The shadow man with depression, that all of us know. / He comes out to find you, when you least do expect, / And we're told to ignore him, we're told to protect. / / But sometimes, just sometimes, you need to express, / Get rid of the fences, remove armor, undress. / That what I am here for, share the sorrow I feel, / And if you can relate, may these words help you heal.
I hear the thunder,
Crash
Crash
Crash,
Perfect ending, to a day full of sun.
And I see the lightning,
Flash,
Flash,
Flash,
This storm, has just barely begun.
So what should I do,
Rest in shelter, Stay dry?
But then what if I miss all the fun?
It's been weeks of this unpredictable crazy,
Yet I know it's just only begun.
I never learned to swim, but I wish I knew now,
Maybe I wouldn't be fearful of rain?
But it's not fear of water that brings on the fear,
It's the prospect of drowning, before winning the game.
See the storm hurls the pieces, all over the board...
One piece left,
One piece up,
One piece down.
But the wind I can stand, It's the chance I can't bare,
Will I win,
Will I draw,
Will I drown?
There's no real way of knowing, If I'll weather the storm.
But I just can't stand drowning, before being reborn.
Dec 7, 2014
Dec 7, 2014 at 5:45 AM UTC
Inspiration can be hidden,
Search your whole life for more,
Then in other weird moments,
It comes knock on your door
Not invited,
Desired,
Ordered,
Or planned,
But here it is lying in the palm of your hand
And sometimes it's still blurry,
Like an empty gold map,
It's value is there,
But directions - their crap!
Still directionless,
Meaningless,
Uninterpretable,
Trash,
But it still lights your face up like a bag full of cash.
So In trying to use it,
So it won't go to waste,
I thought writing a poem,
Would decipher without haste.
But the meanings still lost, and all I can say,
Is the joy that it brings can come back any day,
But, if you look like directions, please, lead a way.
Tell me, what would you build with a random lump of clay?
Nov 18, 2014
Nov 18, 2014 at 7:47 PM UTC
Take your time she said,
Those words linger in my head,
Like an auto-tuned pop song leaves your consciousness begging for air.
Take your time she said,
Those words stay with me till I'm dead,
Like a bad choice of tattoo begging to be drowned in your body hair.
We're told time,
Is never time at all,
It's never too late,
It's never too early,
Your time will come,
Your time has passed...
But what is 'Your time'?
What is my time?
What, is time?
The most precious commodity in our world, yet we don't know it?
We measure every second, every minute, every hour, but never know it's true length?
It is our whole world, we're surrounded by it, but always looking for more...
More time,
The right time,
The first time,
The last time...?
Time is what you wasted, while trying to spend it wisely,
Time is what you never have enough of, until you have too much,
Time is what you spend, while watching it all slip away....
Take your time, she said.
Nov 18, 2014
Nov 18, 2014 at 9:19 AM UTC
I wake in the morning to a singe question:
Can I use your computer?
Immediately, my heart races...
I'm sweating from parts of my body I didn't know existed,
I swallow,
I panic
I answer
Yes, but
But... It is slow...
But... It is small...
But... It is weak...
...I am weak
The 1st question was simple, do I own that device?
The answer, however, is more questions
Is it enough
Are you enough
Why use it when you could use something better?
Why know me, when you could know someone better?
I am the broken lightbulb
That lightbulb designed not quite as bright,
Staring at brighter bulbs and not content to be dim.
Blinded by their light
Unable to notice the beauty of my own.
Nov 16, 2014
Nov 16, 2014 at 8:21 PM UTC
The last time I saw him, he said,
"Some people just feel things more deeply than others. This can be both a blessing and a curse. Sometimes you can feel the warmth of the sun, while other times you just feel the sting of the burn."
Two days later, he was gone.
Nov 16, 2014
Nov 16, 2014 at 7:31 PM UTC
This isn't my real name
This isn't my real home town
This isn't my real biography
These are my real words
These are my real thoughts
These are my beliefs
You don't need my name to know me
You don't need my place of birth
You don't need my biography
I can remain anonymous
and you can still know who I am.
Nov 16, 2014
Nov 16, 2014 at 1:14 PM UTC
Used to be, that i could walk down to the store and grab some milk...
...It's too far
Used to be, that I could wash all my clothes and then put them away...
...It's too hard
Used to be that I could walk & run,
Right a task list, get it done,
Plan a night out, have some fun,
But now I can't, and I feel so dumb.
Example A, my laundry, begging for OMO,
***** clothes, still lying on the floor.
Plain clothes waiting patiently for the cupboard,
So far, it's been at least five days, or more.
But I try, then I sigh, now, I cry.
Motivation for myself?
That is no more
Motivation for others?
I'll find a way to the door
I wake up in the morning and I can't raise my head
Unless a friend needs my help, then I'll get out of bed
But if I'm the one calling, then the phone's always dead.
Please evict this depression,
Please just send it away
Because I'm so sick of asking:
"What's the point of today?"
Why do I bother to stay?
Nov 16, 2014
Nov 16, 2014 at 1:05 PM UTC