you carry your past on your shoulders
and never understand why people ask
why you no longer smile like you used to
Jun 4, 2015
Jun 4, 2015 at 12:31 AM UTC
Pull me like a string,
watch as I disintegrate
under your touch
Try and put my pieces back together,
get angry when they
no longer fall where you want
Tell me you love me,
turn your back and leave
without a word
I can still feel the stitches of your touch,
serving as a constant reminder
that for you,
I could never be enough
May 22, 2015
May 22, 2015 at 12:23 AM UTC
I saw you in my dreams again
the first time in months
I guess my dreams no longer know you like I do
They still crave your presence
and welcome your smile
Back when your arms never felt hollow
before our smiles faded
and promises became harder to follow
My dreams no longer acknowledge that world
they have chosen to forgive you
because I never could
All along I just needed to
forgive myself
So I no longer blame you
for the things that could not be changed
I'll bite my lip and never speak these words
and instead,
I will see you in my dreams.
May 21, 2015
May 21, 2015 at 2:30 PM UTC
Write me a book,
Call it:
"All the Ways I Was Unable to Love You."
List the reasons
why it was all my fault
Tell them about
the impossible pedestal
you placed me on
Describe the way my hands shook
trying to put your pieces
back together,
and how I no longer knew
whose hands were bleeding
I never wanted to change you,
I just wanted to be enough
to fill your emptiness
But the the void became to deafening,
and with your brokenness suffocating me,
I used my last breath to say
"Im sorry."
-I was always sorry for your mistakes
May 20, 2015
May 20, 2015 at 3:29 PM UTC
and if you would have asked,
I would have gone anywhere with you
and if you would have let me,
I would have loved every inch of you
May 20, 2015
May 20, 2015 at 3:10 PM UTC
It's 3 am and I'm going
100 on the highway
and I can't take my eyes off
the rear view mirror
and no amount of speed
can take me away fast enough
from all the lies you left behind
May 20, 2015
May 20, 2015 at 3:05 PM UTC
I'm not the type to be there the next morning. we'll refuse to get attached yet become helplessly addicted. I'll keep you second guessing, but mostly because I'm still unsure myself. I'll make mistakes, even the smallest of ones, but I will still make a lot of them. I'll never accept certain events of my past or understand why I burry that life deep down like some sort of secret, but I just don't like looking back. I'm not the type to tell just someone about that life, but oh my god I can still remember the look on your face. I still look for you everywhere. ask about family and I can never quite find the words. ask about friends and travel back before the silence began to feel like comfort. things can never be just simple, with white lies and thin lines always able to make a picture blurry. I want everything, I want nothing. I want the unattainable, inevitably disappointing myself. I love hard, but leave often. I'm the author of a paradox that constantly leaves me in both awe and despair.
May 19, 2015
May 19, 2015 at 1:30 PM UTC