I find it hard to keep these thoughts inside my head
For as soon as one leaves another wishes I was dead
And I've had nothing, nothing's changed
But I once had something and now I'm insane
My body now lacks the subtle movements
These tiny gestures of air
As if it gains amusement
When I'm pulling out my hair
Cause I've been down too long
Searching for a light
A reason to belong without it feeling like a fight
But now I've lost all hope
My lights faded black
For the one I loved who couldn't love me back
Dec 5, 2016
Dec 5, 2016 at 3:45 PM UTC
My world came to a halt,
Depression setting in as if it's a fault
Slowly finding its way inside my heart
And all the emotions or lack of started tearing apart
Cause you fell from grace but you're nothing but saved
From the very first moment, the very first day
I've thought of you and swore true on my intentions
Never having to answer any questions
You act as if everything's okay
But how is that true when I can't make you stay
See, you talk about the lack of love
While you constantly push and shove
Knocking the sense out of everything that breathes
Falling faster than the leaves on the trees
So there's nothing left to do but pass time
Live a little life, do a little crime
Dig a hole with all my troubles
Continue bruising my knuckles
Oct 26, 2016
Oct 26, 2016 at 2:12 AM UTC
Hold your tongue or it will hold your heart.
and all the pain that tears you apart
for the skin is tough; the mind is weak
in in our selves we truly speak
the thoughts held deep within our soul
May 7, 2016
May 7, 2016 at 12:54 PM UTC
And one night I feel asleep waking up to see
A girl like me in the paper's headline
"Another teen dies" because her life was full of lies,
Her heart was tied.
And her brain had died.
A life that depression and sadness bought.
Now she's in the sky up high.
Shes now happy, as you see
The sky is where she wanted to be...
Oct 13, 2015
Oct 13, 2015 at 8:43 PM UTC
And I missed the warnings
The ones in the mirror
That tell me that the objects reflected back were depressed more than they appeared
And the parts of my life, the ones that move slower, are spent searching for "hellos" in the sunrise
Now, I didn't choose the sunset, but you chose the doorway and everything must end in the closing of this moment.
Cause people ask what it was like loving you
I just say "it was nice."
But the echoing silence that now fills my room is slowly tearing me apart.
I have dreams, dreams where I'm falling and I'm crying for help but only screaming your name.
Because loving you was my favorite song but I've pushed replay too many times and now the button doesn't work.
I'm told to look on the bright side, to search for the good, but I've been locked in the dark with a solitary moment of you.
Well, the song is now over and it can't be replayed and I'm stuck here thinking of the one who slipped away.
Oct 8, 2015
Oct 8, 2015 at 10:56 AM UTC
A shadow sat beside me
He grinned and tipped his hat
I asked him, "May I help you sir?"
He said, "Hon, you'll do more than that."
He said " I am your biggest failing,
As well as your loyal crutch.
I'm the demon that your plagued by,
I'm the result of Satan's touch."
His grin was filled with malice
Shadows wrapped around my arms
The darkness has descended fast
As he dangled comforts charm
I'm no longer my own person
Regardless of how I fought
The shadow is all through me
And controls my every thought
Oct 8, 2015
Oct 8, 2015 at 10:41 AM UTC
is like sun-drenched empathy canvassed on the back of wildflowers
Oct 7, 2015
Oct 7, 2015 at 12:50 AM UTC
Unworthy, so unworthy,
Yet You held our lives so dearly,
I'm safe and sound in Your love and Your grace,
Oh, what other love, could ever replace?
Unworthy, so unworthy,
Yet You gave us life and showed us Your glory,
I'm wrapped in Your mercy's embrace,
Oh, what have I done, to see Your love's trace?
Oct 6, 2015
Oct 6, 2015 at 10:29 PM UTC
My mind is a pandemonium
A chaotic,
crumbling mess
An imbroglio of words
and memories haunting me.
What would it take
to just light a match
and watch everything burn.
I will not tame my demons
But I will keep them caped
Hidden from the world
Their feiry tongues
and hearts of stone
will brand hate in my soul
But I will keep on..
Because if I let them loose
the flames will consume us
BOTH...
Oct 6, 2015
Oct 6, 2015 at 10:28 PM UTC
I blame it on the easy things,
my parents,
past relationships,
black holes.
But it's always been me
that's been in
control.
Deciding to stop
when they told me to go.
Screaming out "yes"
as I was choking down "no."
Pressing the pedal
when I should've gone slow.
My actions and my words
never quite match up.
Saying I'm healthy
as smoke fills my lungs.
Calling myself an atheist
but telling it to God.
Sitting here wondering,
When will I stop?
I can blame it on the easy things,
stimulants,
a chemical imbalance,
the doctors white coat.
But it's always been me
that's been in
control.
Oct 6, 2015
Oct 6, 2015 at 4:22 PM UTC