sophie-grey
19. girls, drugs, bukowski, hair dye, video games, doc martens, irony, puns and '90s television. 12 year vegetarian, perpetual bleeding heart, writer, nerd [semi-reformed] stoner & chain smoker. more psychiatric disorders and diagnoses than i care to count. ♡ in love with a blue-eyes irish princess ♡ / tumblr: w--rists / writing tumblr: technicolor-veins / photography tumblr: sophiesinlove / twitter: sophiesinlove / instagram: sophiesinlove
the doctors say
i'm not okay
that it's a miracle
i met today
but i take my pills
every night
i sleep and i dream
i wake and i fight
maybe i'm a mess of lights
of leather too tight but
i do alright.
the dog catchers
dangle bones
in front of my cage
but i won't bite.
my skin's a battlefield
my soldiers won't yield
and time has worn holes
in my steel-woven shields.
yet every day, i lace up my shoes
i outfit my army, though i know it will lose
i eat my dinner, i brush my teeth
and i try my hardest
to fall asleep
s.h.
Sep 8, 2014
Sep 8, 2014 at 2:45 AM UTC
more scars than stories,
more guts than glory.
thanks to the reaper's trusty scythe
we carved ourselves a counterfeit life.
cold like the winter, strong like the rain,
stickin' out the summer, we smile through the pain.
so dish it out, i can take it
and if i can't, i can fake it.
don't you move, or i'll pull this trigger;
i may not be fast, but you're small and i'm bigger.
if you can't do it, it can't be done.
i won't change for anyone.
s.h.
Sep 8, 2014
Sep 8, 2014 at 2:45 AM UTC
little girl with big dreams,
ambition bursting through the seams.
dark chocolate easter egg eyes
cautious whispers, quiet lies
she's a shadow girl, shrouded in grief
from her lips to the tip of her tongue to her teeth.
stucco soul, hardwood heart,
lips together, legs apart.
caught fast in this steel trap,
surrendering to the acid's attack.
she's addicted, obsessive,
it's intrinsic, embedded.
despair, denial, a child reviled
a dark heart of secrets as deep as the nile.
a poisonous princess, a toxic traitor;
three drinks later and she's
south of the equator.
s.h.
Sep 8, 2014
Sep 8, 2014 at 2:45 AM UTC
the fist-shaped hole in the wall
the apologies that followed
the bruised and bleeding knuckles
the bathroom littered with plaster wrappers
the sink sizzling with hydrogen peroxide
the empty box of painkillers
the wedding ring thrown to the floor
the little girl who watched through the keyhole
s.h.
Sep 8, 2014
Sep 8, 2014 at 2:44 AM UTC
choo choo trains
and little toasters
have more strength
and determination
than my entire 19
years on this
planet
have.
Jul 14, 2014
Jul 14, 2014 at 4:43 PM UTC
sticks and stones
may break my bones
(but words will never hurt me)
people stare when we hold hands, they glare and point and scream in whispers behind cupped palms. sometimes they applaud or congratulate us, but i hate that, too; i don't want to be brave or strong or special i just want to kiss you without glancing left and right first. boys in parking lots shout and whistle, cars honk but WE'RE RUBBER YOU'RE GLUE, IT BOUNCES OFF US AND STICKS TO YOU so guess what- you're the ***** you're the ******* you're the freaks, you have to change the pronouns in your poetry, you are afraid of churches, you were listed in The Diagnostic And Statistical Manual Of Mental Disorders as a "sociopathic personality disturbance" until its seventh edition. if i had a nickel for every time a mother hurried a child away from us on the street, i might have enough money to sue one or two of you for harassment and hate.
s.h.
Jul 13, 2014
Jul 13, 2014 at 2:35 PM UTC
the wind beats
against my windows:
bends trees
weakens knees
can't sleep
but rain and hail
and thunder fail
to steal your slumber.
my dreams are iron,
yours are silver steel
as long as you keep
the bedroom sealed
your ears open,
your eyes
peeled
s.h.
Jul 13, 2014
Jul 13, 2014 at 2:32 PM UTC
did you cry?
i want to hear everything.
tell me your secrets, pull up the source of your pain- did you cry when he hit you? the weight of his words, did it crush your shoulders? tell me how your tears fell in pools around my broken wrists. i want to hear it all, i want to know how you felt, how you hurt. i want to feel for you again.
make me cry. break me. rip me into little pieces & rub me in broken glass.
did you cry?
Jul 13, 2014
Jul 13, 2014 at 2:32 PM UTC
We burn bridges, we build walls;
We drive too fast in shiny cars.
I am silent, not at peace;
Your broken eyes scream ‘pretty please.’
I crossed the street & didn’t look;
You read me like a picture book.
I’m an anxious, exhausted insomniac,
Who needs you like an addict needs crack.
But if you close your eyes, it tastes the same;
I see your face- do you hear my name?
Jul 13, 2014
Jul 13, 2014 at 2:31 PM UTC
in a
gas station
in santa barbara
you can think and
wonder
about the world
in a house,
on a mountain you can
down
a bottle of pills
in an
apartment in
any city, any state
you can
chase beer with
wine
and follow with a chaser of
scotch and *****
in any
country in this
godforsaken world, you can
slit your wrists and
hope to bleed to
death.
and it won't make a difference.
Jul 13, 2014
Jul 13, 2014 at 2:29 PM UTC