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somya-wadhwa
somya-wadhwa
Poems2
Words262
Somewhere along the way of scrutiny and time I have been taught how to despise myself. Look pretty, darling, so that you can belong to someone someday Because that's what a woman really wants, right? Oh, sweetheart, look pretty but don't feel pretty Meet your skin and bones, hair and face With conceited egoistic chorus Sweetheart, self solicitude is a sin Knowing how to wear joy is nugatory If your body cannot wear that dress Darling, you're the type of woman people don't look at But they will stare at you if you don't follow their established echoic narcissistic accusations You should mistake eyes for hands Darling, why is your skin darker than an 'ideal’ for a woman Why are your hair shorter than your dignity Why are your thighs fatter than your brain Why is your bra strap showing Darling, why are you, you Darling, You are made up of metaphors. Darling, why is there a face on your pimples, don't let hormones fingerprint your face But don't worry we'll get it all fixed You haven't seen the actual you in years but Darling, It's not about you. Sweetheart put on some lipstick But not that red one, it's too pretty for you Put on some perfume But not a strong one, you don't want to attract attention Put on some eyeshadow But not that bright one, doesn't suit your skin tone Darling, Change this physicality Oh, and that one, too But don't you dare show yourself You don't want to insinuate the term beautiful in regards to A victim Or a snack Or A woman. Darling, how old will you have to be to realise You need a 40+ skin miracle cream and not a 30+ How old will you be till you look like a skeleton who pulled on some skin How old will you be Till you realise being a woman does not make you a man to be seen like a man is You, Are a woman. Because we are taught to live in a world where media pulls us out from the womb and and teaches us our first words Fair and lovely Fair and handsome Pinched pretty pinched pretty Female thin calm pretty Male manly bold pretty Darling, you Are not a constant You, are a variable But, darling, you are not looking for a casket of fortune You don't look for a diet to slim your passion down You don't look for a mirror to examine your dreams Darling You Are a thought You're an idea A proposition An abstraction Or maybe that's what everyone else is looking for.
0
May 3, 2017
May 3, 2017 at 10:29 AM UTC
somya-wadhwa
**** your Darlings
Somewhere along the way of scrutiny and time I have been taught how to despise myself. Look pretty, darling, so that you can belong to someone someday Because that's what a woman really wants, right? Oh, sweetheart, look pretty but don't feel pretty Meet your skin and bones, hair and face With conceited egoistic chorus Sweetheart, self solicitude is a sin Knowing how to wear joy is nugatory If your body cannot wear that dress Darling, you're the type of woman people don't look at But they will stare at you if you don't follow their established echoic narcissistic accusations You should mistake eyes for hands Darling, why is your skin darker than an 'ideal’ for a woman Why are your hair shorter than your dignity Why are your thighs fatter than your brain Why is your bra strap showing Darling, why are you, you Darling, You are made up of metaphors. Darling, why is there a face on your pimples, don't let hormones fingerprint your face But don't worry we'll get it all fixed You haven't seen the actual you in years but Darling, It's not about you. Sweetheart put on some lipstick But not that red one, it's too pretty for you Put on some perfume But not a strong one, you don't want to attract attention Put on some eyeshadow But not that bright one, doesn't suit your skin tone Darling, Change this physicality Oh, and that one, too But don't you dare show yourself You don't want to insinuate the term beautiful in regards to A victim Or a snack Or A woman. Darling, how old will you have to be to realise You need a 40+ skin miracle cream and not a 30+ How old will you be till you look like a skeleton who pulled on some skin How old will you be Till you realise being a woman does not make you a man to be seen like a man is You, Are a woman. Because we are taught to live in a world where media pulls us out from the womb and and teaches us our first words Fair and lovely Fair and handsome Pinched pretty pinched pretty Female thin calm pretty Male manly bold pretty Darling, you Are not a constant You, are a variable But, darling, you are not looking for a casket of fortune You don't look for a diet to slim your passion down You don't look for a mirror to examine your dreams Darling You Are a thought You're an idea A proposition An abstraction Or maybe that's what everyone else is looking for.
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66
When exactly did I learn that life was no cartoon? The paradigm of life wasn’t just one traumatic incidence because there wasn’t a scene to pause when I rewind because (I might as well call myself a careless traveller here) because I don’t remember how exactly it has been because depression is a shape shifter and anxiety is the cousin depression felt obligated to invite at the party which I don’t want to be at. ‘Why don’t you try having fun?’ Do you not see that it’s not much fun having fun when you don’t want to have fun? Stop measuring pain with what eyes can see. Depression is not a mood and anxiety? It’s not the butterflies you get in your stomach when you’re on stage. It’s like every unspoken thought being pulled out of your ear and being replaced with merciless fear when there isn’t much space for happy. It’s like the fingernails of the biggest clown of the smallest circus being forced through your temples and all you can do is stare at the dark walls tightly hugging your fragile skeleton and it leaves you wondering. It leaves you wondering if you grew up painting them. I cannot even look at the universe and shout ‘what is going on?!’ because I was told that sound cannot travel in space. Or is the universe just playing games because I can hear it shouting at me at the top of its voice I. Do. Not. Understand! But neither do I. How do I make myself understand this feeling ? This feeling of a spoon held in strong arms with loose wrists? That I don’t need an ocean full of love to bring flowers and plant them in every windowsill of the house that stands still when no feeling gets out of it or goes into it? How do I understand When my body itself says Error 404, Error 404, Error 404.
0
Dec 2, 2016
Dec 2, 2016 at 1:54 AM UTC
somya-wadhwa
Depression Found its Cousin
When exactly did I learn that life was no cartoon? The paradigm of life wasn’t just one traumatic incidence because there wasn’t a scene to pause when I rewind because (I might as well call myself a careless traveller here) because I don’t remember how exactly it has been because depression is a shape shifter and anxiety is the cousin depression felt obligated to invite at the party which I don’t want to be at. ‘Why don’t you try having fun?’ Do you not see that it’s not much fun having fun when you don’t want to have fun? Stop measuring pain with what eyes can see. Depression is not a mood and anxiety? It’s not the butterflies you get in your stomach when you’re on stage. It’s like every unspoken thought being pulled out of your ear and being replaced with merciless fear when there isn’t much space for happy. It’s like the fingernails of the biggest clown of the smallest circus being forced through your temples and all you can do is stare at the dark walls tightly hugging your fragile skeleton and it leaves you wondering. It leaves you wondering if you grew up painting them. I cannot even look at the universe and shout ‘what is going on?!’ because I was told that sound cannot travel in space. Or is the universe just playing games because I can hear it shouting at me at the top of its voice I. Do. Not. Understand! But neither do I. How do I make myself understand this feeling ? This feeling of a spoon held in strong arms with loose wrists? That I don’t need an ocean full of love to bring flowers and plant them in every windowsill of the house that stands still when no feeling gets out of it or goes into it? How do I understand When my body itself says Error 404, Error 404, Error 404.
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