I have returned
Can't say why
But I can't sleep
And...
Um
****
Tried to just write simple
Tried to write and leave
But no
I'm a teen
So I take hours deciding on words
To make me seem edgy
To convey anxiety
Because...
Whatever
**** it.
It's 3 am
I don't have time to form my thoughts so I'm just typing I guess for attention
Wow great self awareness
Wait what was this about
Oh yea
I'm back.
I think
May just be for a night.
Jan 6, 2019
Jan 6, 2019 at 4:42 AM UTC
anger
Anger for nothing
Just ****** and being an ***
Can't say why I'm
mad
stress
Stressed from little
On edge for everything I have
Can't stop my
stain
empty
Empty from this
Left drained from day to day
Never felt so
hollow
before
Haven't felt so
Hol
Jun 6, 2018
Jun 6, 2018 at 10:17 PM UTC
I feel my body crumble
I fight and struggle
I slowly turn to rubble
My lungs starts to leak
While I gasp for air
I won't even bother to speak
I know it's pointless
An attempt for the weak
If I am to die
It won't be in fear
But with pride
That I did all I could
Before I died
Mar 21, 2018
Mar 21, 2018 at 5:34 PM UTC
I have a drive
But no start
I have words
But no pen
I have a fuel
But no heat
I have a desire
But I have excuses
I have the ability
But no effort
I have what I need
Except for me.
Feb 28, 2018
Feb 28, 2018 at 8:38 PM UTC
i think not speaking
is the thing messing me up the most
out of all of this
yes, i love you
i really really do
but i know i will get over that
it will take time and it will hurt like hell but i know i will
the thing is, you are my safe place
were my safe place
i felt as though i could go to you about anything
and you made me feel more comfortable than anyone else
you knew how to react and made it easy to talk
now i cant do that
and **** keeps happening
while you're the first person i think to go talk to when i can't
and i keep wondering how you are
you seem fine but i still miss hearing about your life
i miss you and i feel pathetic
because i'm having a hard time adjusting
and i dont exactly know what to do with myself
Jan 24, 2018
Jan 24, 2018 at 8:21 PM UTC
I am tired of them saying,
"you'll get him next time"
"you almost had him"
"you were so close"
I am tired of seeing,
your eyes so filled
with **** pity
I'm afraid if I bump you
I'll get it on my clothes.
So **** off,
you don't know what you say,
you don't know what I do,
You don't know how I fight...
And if you don't **** off
You just might.
Jan 11, 2018
Jan 11, 2018 at 10:20 PM UTC
I take the cold walk to my car
Even when a friend offers a ride
I decline,
I need the walk
I need to think...
My breathing quick
My lungs stressed,
Head hung low with falling tears
So they won't freeze on my face.
Jan 11, 2018
Jan 11, 2018 at 10:14 PM UTC
I take the cold walk to my car
Even when a friend offers a ride
I decline,
I need the walk
I need to think...
My breathe choppy
The weather attacking my lungs,
Head hung low in thought
of the pain I hold.
Why am I so bothered by my loss
Other people can't breathe,
But on that mat I felt it
My fear.
When I can't breathe
I lose all hope,
When my throat closes
I lose my power.
I was left there powerless...
Just those words break me
As I remember how I felt
When my brother cut me.
Powerless.
Jan 11, 2018
Jan 11, 2018 at 10:09 PM UTC
I take the cold walk to my car
Even when a friend offers a ride
I decline,
I need the walk
I need to think...
My breathing haggard
Lungs struggle for air,
Head hung low with defeat
from the match I lost.
I was doing so well
Till my breathing stopped.
My chest had stiffened
My throat had closed.
I knew this was the end
Just like it was the games before.
I walked away in shame,
As coaches asked what happened
With no breathe to explain
Why my body gave up,
I lifted my hand
Deeply shaded in purple
Jan 11, 2018
Jan 11, 2018 at 9:55 PM UTC