Why am I so quick to crave death?
When things get difficult
And my world spins
I haven't truly suffered
Not nearly enough
Even so
My body aches to be still
To stop entirely
I crave the silence and peace
That comes with a grave
Despite this I persist
Like a **** through the sidewalk cracks
Ever growing
Craving the sunlight
Mar 6, 2021
Mar 6, 2021 at 3:03 AM UTC
it’s dark
storming, loud
the rain spatters my windshield
leaves me nearly blind
i don’t see the blur
sandy brown fur, beady glowing eyes
until i hit it head on
my life flashes
on the side of the road
fading out in the ditch
i stare at the beast
in this moment, we are one in the same
Jul 28, 2020
Jul 28, 2020 at 1:04 AM UTC
I stood on the bridge
Head dangling over the side
With dark waters below
I thought hard
So hard that my head started to spin
So hard that I couldn't breathe
And then I did nothing
I could have taken the plunge
All it would have took is a little step
A small push
But I didn't
I don't know if it was fear or willpower
That made me walk away
And somewhere in the back of my head
It felt like cowardice
I thought it was going to end
But tonight, I survived
Apr 23, 2020
Apr 23, 2020 at 2:51 AM UTC
As I was falling asleep
I opened my eyes
And suddenly it felt like the darkness
Was encroaching on me
Threatening to swallow me whole
I couldn’t breathe
I couldn’t think
Apr 25, 2019
Apr 25, 2019 at 8:12 PM UTC
I can feel anxiety gripping my stomach
Clawing it’s way into my chest cavity
I can’t breathe
Mar 29, 2019
Mar 29, 2019 at 4:37 PM UTC
My body doesn’t feel like my own
It feels as foreign as the forest
Empty and quiet
Unsure of the way back home
My conscious feels distorted
Warped beyond my belief
Balancing on my frontal lobe
Threatening to fall
My limbs feel like tattered branches
Clinging desperately to the trunk
Only the bark is so thin and frail
That it can barely support even itself
I am not myself anymore
Jan 28, 2019
Jan 28, 2019 at 12:44 AM UTC
I can’t stop thinking about you
About the way you laugh
The way you squeal at the sight of fuzzy kittens
Or the way your cheeks dimple when you smile
You’re always on my mind
You were the light at the end of the hall
Assuring me that no matter how dark my days will be
You’ll be there to shine on them
But you don’t really feel the same, do you?
Not anymore, at least
I think our sparked died out
Flickered from our existence
But I still can’t stop thinking about you
Even though I know you’re not thinking about me
Dec 11, 2018
Dec 11, 2018 at 6:53 PM UTC
I had told myself
You will never be enough
Until it was true
Dec 7, 2018
Dec 7, 2018 at 2:21 AM UTC
I
have learned that depression knows no bounds,
Don’t
let it get too close. You can never
Know
just when it will sweep you off your feet next, or
Who
it will take away from you.
I
have learned from experience that I
Am
simply a tourist in my own head.
Dec 6, 2018
Dec 6, 2018 at 1:45 AM UTC
You look at a person
A stranger, a loved one, a partner
And you think;
How can one person be so beautiful?
Inside and out you see an aura of unimaginable beauty
A friendly face
An intoxicating laugh
A smile that makes you smile without even realizing it
And then you look at yourself
You hate the way you smile, all crooked and mouthy
The way your cheeks are too pudgy
Your glasses too big for your face
Your voice too soft to break through the chatter of others
But you
You are a lion whose voice is booming thunder
With claws that can tear through the veil
The one you’ve kept yourself shrouded in for too long
You should be proud
Proud of your wild and unruly mane
Proud of your scars earned from battles with many others
Not to mention the battles you wage on yourself
You could move mountains and uproot trees if you tried
But you don’t
You look at yourself
Your cheeks too pudgy
Glasses too big
Voice kept under lock and key
Vocal chords dusty with disuse
Your heart is so big and so beautiful
You see so much in everyone else
But can’t bear to see anything in yourself
You are a wild flower sprouting through the cracks in the sidewalk
You could move mountains and uproot trees if you tried
Dec 5, 2018
Dec 5, 2018 at 11:46 PM UTC