i hate what you do to me
i'm looking up at the stars right now
and it feels like you're staring back
i can feel you near, but it's not enough
i want you here
and safe on the ground
i want you back
****
i begged you not to
'leave'
and you still did
you left me here, empty
and i know it's too late
i know
i wonder what you'd say to me
if you had the chance to talk to me for the last time.
i wish i couldve stopped you
and i love you so much.
Apr 10, 2020
Apr 10, 2020 at 3:55 AM UTC
these are the last pages
before it's all gone
these are the last pages
ending what is wrong
these are my last words
these cords wrap around me
before I can't tell you
that we aren't meant to be
May 19, 2019
May 19, 2019 at 12:23 PM UTC
the blood moon shines bright tonight
it casts a red shadow in my window.
this is my first time doing an all nighter,
and I feel it's a sign.
the stars align
i open my blinds
and all i see is the sun coming up
i ignored the time
spent all my time
looking at the stars
and not seeing what was really in front of me.
i feel different
merely a difference
but still, maybe something
like something churning
inside of me.
Jul 28, 2018
Jul 28, 2018 at 9:51 AM UTC
I always tell myself that tomorrow will be a better day
but will tomorrow be when the pain goes away?
or will I be able to feel ok?
will the skies in my mind finally not be gray?
Jul 26, 2018
Jul 26, 2018 at 6:18 PM UTC
why'd you have to make me feel the way I do?
no matter what I cannot escape the grasp of you
Ive lost all contact to my brain
and lost all feeling of the pain
all I used to do was sit there crying
hiding from the bullets flying
feeling like my heart got ripped out of my chest
feeling like I couldn't make it through the rest
I was useless, sitting there waiting for a change
but that wouldn't ever stop the pain
why am i numb now? well im one to say
you cant wait for the pain to go away
you get used to it.
~
1:32a.m.
Jul 7, 2018
Jul 7, 2018 at 10:24 PM UTC
thoughts spread like wildfires
shedding light to deep desires
staying put right where you are
not yet reaching for the stars.
Jun 8, 2018
Jun 8, 2018 at 10:56 PM UTC
I wish to kiss your lips a million times
I want to hold you close and call you mine
I wish I could dive into a sea of your love that was of so kind
But you are gone,
Just before Valentines
Feb 18, 2018
Feb 18, 2018 at 10:07 PM UTC
nostalgia
when i hear our song
i feel numb.
i feel numb on my shoulders
because that’s where you
used to put your head;
i feel numb on my cheeks
because that’s where you would kiss me,
and cup your hands around,
for what we had once before
we have no more.
Feb 7, 2018
Feb 7, 2018 at 6:17 PM UTC
I've always wondered why they called it a "crush",
and now I think I know why.
I've admired you from afar,
knowing that if I told you my feelings,
it would ruin my life forever
because I was afraid of saying it to your face.
Sometimes we would catch each others eyes for a few seconds and then look back to the homework we were doing.
But I knew it wasn't going to happen.
Ever.
Not like you had a girlfriend or anything,
but it was because I could never talk to you.
And that crushed me.
Jan 19, 2018
Jan 19, 2018 at 11:46 PM UTC
my hands lay on the keyboard.
so many things going through my head,
but I can't move my hands,
nor can I talk, or do anything.
I stare down.
I want,
I need that familiar clacking of the keyboard
to fill the air like oxygen in my lungs.
Where are you, my oxygen?
My thoughts?
Anything at all?
I sigh.
I look around, trying to find something to do.
To occupy myself,
to distract myself with something else than having
to live with this nagging feeling that I can't write anything.
That I can't think anything.
That I can't fill a page up with the words that are on my mind.
That I can't describe the pain I'm feeling.
That nagging feeling that closes in on me like a tight box.
I fall.
Jan 19, 2018
Jan 19, 2018 at 11:24 PM UTC