Right before all the cracks finally gave way to wear
and your cold stare locked its glare
as I shattered all across the floor
I remember looking into your chocolate eyes
seeing the reflection of every single lie
inside them, because they were stained into my soul
why couldn't you take that final chance
for one more attempt to waltz
to the beat of our hearts on the dance-
floor. Instead you waited for it all to burn
from your kindling deception,
and the flames stole every dream I had for us
After pounding my persevering love to a pulp
you diluted it with your salty promises of love
Pouring us each a glass, you chugged
then splashed mine all across
my already sea soaked face
And forced me to stick my tongue out for a taste
scarring my soul with every ghost
of my failed dreams that you,
with false pretenses, swore you'd give back to me
forcing your way in
you became someone i thought I could believe in
and in the end you win
Because new demons are born
And they've begun to creep
As reopened wounds seep crimson, all in unicen
with every drop I weep
when I look now at my nest of rotten dreams
that never had the chance to hatch
and begin to grow into anything
May 13, 2016
May 13, 2016 at 2:54 PM UTC
Much has changed
time passed, and in the process I grew to hate your face
the thought of how you used me
whilst simultaneously making it seem okay
I wanted to know your secrets
your dreams and aspirations
now I just can't stand it
I don't even want to associate myself with you
you seemed so innocent
I thought it was all so good
gave you far more credit than you ever deserved
now I just want to rewind and run
because you ****
and I wish I had enough nerve to say it to your face
because then you'd know how I really feel
instead I'll smile ad wave
thats the only way I can manage
in this situation
Apr 4, 2016
Apr 4, 2016 at 3:17 PM UTC
I'd like to believe that I'm not blind
but maybe you were right when you told me that I am
because clearly I fell into the arms
of a man that didn't have good intentions
I let myself love someone
that only wished to use me
You claim to love me now
but all I can do is wonder how
because nothing ever happens like in the movies
we live in such a twisted reality
so theres no way it can be
can it?
does that also mean that I will never love again?
am I cursed to be alone now
for the duration of my life
all because I let myself believe
you had a beautiful soul?
I still wouldn't call you a monster
but don't you get that you broke my heart?
my dad always tells me that forgiveness
doesn't mean things go back to the way they were before
when I still only had my doubts
and confession failed to escape your lips
like the constant lies did
Apr 4, 2016
Apr 4, 2016 at 3:16 PM UTC
Take off your mask and let me see your face
this isn't a ******* masquerade
I'm tired of these twisted games
sick of all these crimson stains
I never even chose to play
so why am I stuck here
still debating whether or not to stay
I cared about you
let you see peices of my mind
I never hid so why do you continue to hide
keep me blind to the true curves of your face
constantly behind your mask of fine
human skin
it seems you grew from within
And I get it
how else could you cope
with all these people walking around
that grasp around your throat
causing you to choke
their makeshift ropes
that tear apart your soul
I get it
But your mask is meant for those
not me
from the beginning
all I ever wanted was to see
and to be seen
but blindly I ran down a one way road
because the person I thought I had come to know
now has a grip around MY throat
decieved into believeing I could see
the parts of you no one else did
but you wore your mask around like your own skin
and now the walls of your deception are caving in
and im suffocating because if i breath in
this air I am afraid I'll be like you
untrue
to all i am and wish to be
this isn't a ******* masquerade
I let you see into me
and now your gracefully dancing
as if there were music playing
but the truth is you only really played me.
Why couldn't you see I was human too
like the person you
keep hidden beneath the lies
behind the vibrant eyes
of a mask that hides the secrets of your face
who are you?
because your not the person I knew
the person I thought I knew so well
Apr 4, 2016
Apr 4, 2016 at 3:09 PM UTC
All I ever wanted was to be certain
Of a love they say should come naturally
As a child I grew believing
You had no love for me
And here I am now, still uncertain
Of what I am to believe
You are still in my dreams
Your love is all I wanted for so long
But what I received is nothing like it
You sent it many times in a message
Telling me you love me, your sorry, and that you have so many regrets
But I want you to know,
I never felt it
Years have gone by
And here I am
18 years old and still wishing for your hand
Something I never truly held
But that would take some kind of miracle,
I know
I promise that no matter what I have ever said
I have always loved you
It's just that his emptiness inside me
Has made me so angry for so long
I may have acted differently
And even if you weren't here to see
I didn't always speak the truth
Most of the time it just hurt too bad
Because I was stupid enough to believe
That maybe you would still come back for me
I no longer expect that
It has been a while since I have spoken of you
Expressing the feelings I have learned to suppress over time
But you still constantly cross my mind
So often I can still feel my heart crush
Maybe one day I'll see you again
How stupid does that sound?
I hope to someday cross your mind long enough
That you'll find this mystical love inside your heart
And you'll come running to find me
Because I think I'm too afraid to come find you
I still miss you, and no matter how much your memory fades
Your voice is still my image of an angel.
Sep 28, 2015
Sep 28, 2015 at 11:57 PM UTC
Sliding across the hall in our socks
As if nothing would ever be wrong
Picking up static
As we carelessly ran along
Turning the corner laughing,
I caught a glimpse of you
But I didn't know how to stop
Out of control I tried to grip the wall
As I watched your last foot disappear in the distance
You ran an entire lap
Before I could even reach the the place
Where you had left me behind
You caught me around the waist and pulled me in
Upon contact I felt a shock
But I ignored as I fell into your eyes
Your lips, your arms, your chest
You were always such a distraction
So much symbolism in those days I was falling in love with you
So many warnings I missed
Sep 25, 2015
Sep 25, 2015 at 3:03 PM UTC
I replay the moment in my head
he lies she said
but I wouldn't listen
and I turn to wipe the regret
of ever believing you off my shoulders
but it stays
adhering to the glue,
of all the trust I put in you
when I was naive enough,
to place my heart in the risk of love
you swore to me promises laced with gold
which wrapped themselves around my soul
now I feel as those promises turn to ash and dust
falling from all you've crushed
and as the ashes blend in with my blood
They run through my veins,
And bring all this pain
I need my stomach pumped
to clean my self of all the **** you fed me
But even a transfusion
Will never truly cleanse and release me
of all the contamination you spread throughout my body
each time you place your hands on me
each time you kissed me with your burning lips
I believed that the sensation
was some magical creation
but really it was the shaking and the vibration
of all the lies you locked inside
bouncing around your mouth
fighting your deceitful lips, trying to come out
and yet I wondered, why you always kept so quiet
so many words unspoken
so many nights I wondered what it was all about
but you were just being cautious
Making sure the wrong words never came out
they say when you lie enough
your lies become who you are
and they are all you are
you made them your life, your faith, your heartbeat
you made those lies all the love you gave me
No wonder I'm stuck here now
Left with all the bruises
of the **** that I convinced myself would never fade
and the red inside my heart
that I never would have thought would bake
into this black coal
which stands in place of my beating heart
so dark and cold
he's lying she tried to convince me
but i turned to pretend I heard a sound in the distance
or someone calling my name
so I could act as if I didn't hear
and quickly rush away
but
If only I had listened.
May 15, 2015
May 15, 2015 at 10:24 AM UTC
I think we're all ****** up in our own way
just trying to make it to the next day
because yesterday has failed us
and we've given up on tomorrow
each day moves further
growing longer it seems
every morning that passes
there is sorrow by the masses
and its days like these where that sorrow grows
and can no longer be ignored
or pushed into a corner
hidden by the shadows
of all that was supposed to protect us
once upon a time
because the sun didn't get the memo
that morning hit and it was supposed to rise
pushing back the darkness to its designated corner
keeping all our demons away
once upon a time is supposed to end in happily ever after
I hate that as a child I believed in such things as that
always set up for failure
from the start I didn't stand a chance
I tried to find my happy
but now I believe I'm just a failure
that doesn't know when to give up
tied to a truck that won't stop driving
ripping the skin from my body
revealing my insides, making me raw
and I'm not yet numb to the pain
you wouldn't believe how long I've been dragged
and that the people driving
are all those I ever loved most
laughing as they watch through their rearview mirrors
no amount of time can save me
no amount of anything could ever help
I'm the piece of hay in a needle stack
trying to take all I lost back
but i never stood a chance in this world
being poked and prodded over and over
everyday its predator and prey
a sick game that shouldn't be played
I thought I stood on the same piece of the pyramid
as those who walk beside me
yet they constantly eat me
cabalistically
tearing me limb from limb
I wake up refreshed
thinking with fear 'here we go again'
trying to survive
but I'll never have a heart cold enough
never have a heart stone enough
to withstand the **** that goes on
all I ever wanted is happiness
and a true love to make me okay
yet again I find myself thrown astray
used, bruised, and abused
slashes through old scars
slices through an already wounded heart
Maybe I'll just retreat back to the corner
the same place my demons call home
and when the sun finally gets the memo
that it was supposed to rise long ago
I'll follow the shadows wherever they go
May 7, 2015
May 7, 2015 at 3:49 PM UTC
In a world of black and white
I am grey
striving for perfection
as I wake up each day
isn't that what they want?
perfect grades
so theres something to flaunt
because the person I am
Just isnt enough
so they label me
but they label me wrong
so I'm expected to be
someone I'm not
yet they still wonder
why kids fall off
the face of the earth
with their heads in the clouds
like some kind of bird
deformed at birth
falling from the sky
because theyre taught they cant fly
glued to the ground
like statues
perfectly sculpted
to do as they're told
robots, with blood in their veins
not zombies
because we still have our brains
they've simply been washed
cleaned out and drained
then rebooted to believe we're all still sane
and whose to blame?
for disrupting the natural flow
all these rules and regulations
just let me be free
there's already order
how much more do we need?
I forgot how to breath
amidst these trees
which are written off
as property
and sent through factories
that make and create
a paper thats green
that rules our lives
in a world of greed
its always want
but what about need?
are people so blind
that they truly believe
cash is the key
in the persuit of happiness
we all reach to achieve
Jan 5, 2015
Jan 5, 2015 at 12:45 PM UTC
I may be young
and often written off because due to my adolescence
but I still feel like everyone else
and I still learn from my lessons
and as the days fly by
and the innocence in my heart lessens
just remember
I was never insane
I just lost track of counting my blessings
Dec 5, 2014
Dec 5, 2014 at 10:27 AM UTC