You asked me "What's wrong?"
I asked you to count with me
One
One day you just stopped coming around
Two
Two days have passed since my last meal and I'm still staring down the toilet hoping to empty whatever is left of me
Three
Three words repeated over and over I love you I love you I love you I love you
Four
4:00 a.m. showers letting the bathtub flow over hoping to drown the girl I hate because that's the girl I have become
Five
Five bottles down moving onto number
Six
Six daisies making a chain around my neck like a noose holding the measurement hoping that I'll at least be pretty when I die
Seven
Seven days every week I didn't want to get out of bed because how could I try and stand on solid ground when I'm sinking and everyone else around me is flying like
Eight smoke rings escaping my lips as I wish that maybe my last breath will float up with it
Nine
Nine hours I should be sleeping but instead I stare at that pill bottle did you know that
Ten out of Ten doctors will prescribe you with pills if you're even the slightest bit imbalanced in the brain
Nine
Nine years of prescriptions piling up ignored in fear of becoming a monster like the one they're trying to create
Eight
Eight cancer sticks at the bottom of my bag because addiction is addiction because it hurts the same
Seven
Seven minutes I count over and over did you know that's how long it takes to die by hanging I know because of
Six words you said
Five years ago "Why don't you just go **** yourself"
Four attempts in one month why can't I just die
Three
Three hours spent sobbing on the bathroom floor with
Two bullets in
One gun shot bang!
Zero
Zero chances left
May 16, 2015
May 16, 2015 at 2:56 AM UTC
Darling Darling
You are not okay
Your eyes are wet
And your wrists are stained
Darling Darling
You are not alone
These thoughts are not yours
You don't have to go home
Darling Darling
You can run away
Not to danger
But a place to stay
Darling Darling
Don't you see
You don't need to go
You're safe here with me
Darling Darling
Don't you say it
We won't be better off
We won't celebrate it
Darling Darling
Don't you cry
I know it's hard
So just close your eyes
Darling Darling
I'm right here now
I will love you
I think I know how
Darling Darling
You're alright
Look at you
Living another night
Darling Darling
You're not dead
I'm so proud
Now rest your head
Darling Darling
Look at the time
You're fast asleep
And you'll be just fine
Darling Darling
I wish you'd see
I love you
Just as you love me
Apr 25, 2015
Apr 25, 2015 at 8:33 PM UTC
People tell me I can become whatever I want to be
So I did
I became a drug
So sweet on the lips
So soft to the touch
Taking the strongest of breaths away
One kiss and you're addicted
You will go through withdrawals
Because there will be days that my lips will no longer touch yours
There will be days my touch will not meet yours
You will fall to your knees when I cry
So let me tell you
I am nothing but trouble
Yet you think I'm so great
So riddle me this
Is the trouble worth the disaster that follows?
Apr 25, 2015
Apr 25, 2015 at 6:08 PM UTC