Body shaking
Mind creeping
Eyes crossing
Fatigue settling
Awareness diminishing
Will to live fleeting.
She asks me, "What can I get you?"
I respond, "Biggest size you've got- extra everything."
She asks me, "Is that all for you miss?"
I say, "Make that two."
I hand over my life savings eagerly,
thinking I need my fix and I need it now.
My legs shuffle forward
Lacking energy to lift themselves off the ground.
My body is humming with excitement,
Eagerness cutting through my brain,
reminding me to keep my composure until the time is right.
And then I hear it
Three syllables ringing out above the chattering.
Two large items places on the table with my name branding it like a priced possession.
My heart rate peaks.
My eyes look like two saucers about to launch off my face.
A sheen of sweat covers my body.
Saliva fills my mouth,
making my need to indulge elevated above all reason.
My legs regain their composure in a burst of energy
I dart through the crowd,
pushing and growling and hissing at everyone that stands in my way.
Until my hands wrap around the cold circumference.
My frenzied hands stir and stir and then...
Bliss.
The taste of caramel and espresso and sweet life fill my mouth and suddenly I feel a jolt.
Energy traveling down my throat, through my veins.
Jump starting my heart and rewiring my brain.
My eyes open for the first time all day
My lips lift into a smile.
I turn around and see the terrified expressions of the entire store.
I look down and for the first time realize-
My shirt is on backwards
My hair is half curled
One sandal and one tennis shoe adorn my feet.
"Oh well," I think.
Everyone knows not to mess with me before I've had my Caramel Macchiato.
Apr 26, 2018
Apr 26, 2018 at 10:26 PM UTC
He told me,
"let me read your fortune."
He brought out a mammoth tome with pages so weathered they stuck together like glue.
Yellow pages fanned out,
not held back from the binding that had already shed it like a second skin.
He said, "let me waken it up."
And ran his hands through the stiff pages,
making the book creak in protest.
He then handed it to me and told me to pick a page
I breathed in the antiquated smell and slid my thumb over the pages.
Until I landed on the one page out of the thousands that spoke out to me.
And he began to read.
It was about Newtons law of gravity.
One day he was sitting by a tree and saw an apple fall to the ground.
He noticed that something had to be pulling it down.
That the invisible force that weighs on our shoulders and keeps our feet planted firmly to the ground works on all things.
And Newton began to wonder
He wondered what made the apple ever be able to hang so high off of the ground
Even though there was always an invisible force waiting to yank you down to rock bottom.
And he realized that for gravity to exist you had to have levitation.
That you had to rise above the forces of nature and hang suspended,
rising higher and higher,
past your potential,
before the forces of gravity pull you back down to reality.
Apr 23, 2018
Apr 23, 2018 at 1:54 AM UTC
He looks into my eyes
and I see happiness.
I see walks on the beach
Rooftop views
Talks over coffee
Skinny dips and longboard slips.
I look into his eyes
and I find peace.
Peace in a world full of unanswered questions
Peace every moment we breath the same air
Or I think of his smile,
his dimples lifting up my world.
He looks into my eyes and I see love.
Love in its purest, most unrelenting form.
Love that mends my broken parts
and strengthens in my heart with every beat.
Love that covers me in a warm blanket
and makes me feel content.
Love that makes my toes curl
and my lips part
And brings perfection to my imperfect world.
His love is everything I need and all that I desire.
I can't wait for our tomorrows
of river walks, and philosophical talks.
Road trips and snowboard tricks
Puppy dates and frisbee games
Soft lips and a lingering kiss
And to be in my favorite place in the world.
In his arms with his love wrapping around me in a warm embrace.
Apr 23, 2018
Apr 23, 2018 at 1:32 AM UTC
Cuddled under a blanketed canopy,
riddled with holes making a makeshift starlit sky
Is a greasy little man named Poe.
He breathes in the stench of the city
Of the trash cans and alley cat ****
He hears the life around him.
The beeping of passing cars
The rattle of the subway tearing through the sky
Shouts of the stumbling drunks
The whistle for a taxi
And the melodic laughter of old friends.
And he breathes.
He breathes in the frigid air around him and feels it travel through his body.
It freezes his nose, shakes his lungs
brings goose bumps to his limbs
and drives his body to shutter and shake.
And he thinks.
He thinks of a warm bath
A lit candle
A blanketed duvet
A full stomach
brushed teeth
a soft pillow
and the warm touch of a loved one.
He dreams of better places and better times.
Of a house with a roof
And a morning with a purpose.
These dreams take him to a faraway place.
And camouflage the reality of his life.
These dreams keep his heart beating
His lungs pumping
And the slightest smile to his weathered lips.
In an alley, under a blanket of misfit stars
Lays a man named Poe.
He's a vagabond.
He's a dreamer.
He's a surviver.
Apr 23, 2018
Apr 23, 2018 at 1:10 AM UTC
We run like telephone poles in the night
Darting through trees
Snaking through the sky
Reaching for the moon on our long wooden legs
Oh, how glorious we are with the moonlight glistening off of us
Beating with power
Pulsing with electricity
Arching through the air and lighting up the world around us.
Chasing an impossible dream to be fulfilled
To make that spark,
To rope in the magic suspended in the space around us.
And light the match.
That cultivates our spirit
Grounds our hopes
Cements them in the earth and
Buries them in the deep rich soil
Never to be questioned or second guessed
Oh how we grasp the air,
desperate to grab handfuls of somethings and turn them into everything
And change the world with the love and positivity we create.
How we long for the semblance of perfection amount the modern robots that surround us, rehearsing their phrases and learning the script of movie stars and socialites.
Rewriting their picturesque lives into our own realities.
And those people suspended higher then the rest of us-
constantly reminding us to jump higher,
Duck lower
Smile wider
Dip Deeper
Explore more
Love harder
Dance better
Filter everything
Raise heels
Tighten jeans
Laugh longer
Try harder
We take advantage of the miles of possibilities lining country roads and lighting up cities
Always expecting more of yourself and expecting less.
Struck down by the lighting rod of life
And burning from the inside out with unharvested potential.
Crumbling with the weight of our possibilities
And tumbling to the ground,
severed from our hopes and dreams.
Cutting off our influence
Shutting down the light in our world
And draining our surroundings of power.
Where we rot and wait for someone with a name tag and an antidote to prescribe us with a dose of energy.
Oh, how we chase our dreams into the ground
How we expect so much and accomplish so little.
How we fight for every breath to live out the ideal destiny dreamed up by society.
We run like telephone poles in the night.
Pulsing with energy and trying our best to light up the world.
Apr 20, 2018
Apr 20, 2018 at 6:42 PM UTC
It's the feeling you get
When the weight of the world is crashing down on you.
When suddenly the air is stolen from your lungs
And your heart is coughed up, still beating but crying out in pain.
It's when your gasps for breath take in the fogginess of your brain
and being sliced through with a blade of steel would cause less pain.
It's when
your heart breaks.
The world stops breathing
You stop listening to its beat, beat, beating.
Because there is no way in this moment that people are smiling, or happy, or complete.
It's that moment of absolute silence,
when the ticking of the clock and your heart stop beating in tandem.
And you want desperately to grab onto the hands of time. Grip onto the hands of your lost lover.
And turn back time.
And relive every happy moment.
Again and again.
It's when you're in a concrete castle.
Completely aware of the people around you,
but unwilling to reach out for help.
Completely isolated and confined
Wanting and waiting and hoping and dreaming for that moment when the concrete castle crumbles
People come to comfort you,
the hands on the clock start turning forward
your heart stops screaming,
and you can breathe in life again.
Aug 25, 2016
Aug 25, 2016 at 11:25 PM UTC
On an island
in the sea
is where you will find me
All alone
with no one to hold
is how I will be
Always searching
but never finding
that person inside of me
That will
love less
but be more
of that someone
people are trying
to find in me
Never seeing
but always searching
for what makes me complete
Because making those around me happy
is how happiness
will find me.
Mar 31, 2015
Mar 31, 2015 at 12:43 AM UTC
I feel like i am imprisoned
There are bars encasing my heart
They are constricting
and suffocating
and debilitating
And i can't take a full enough breath
to laugh
Or be able to will myself
to smile
I feel contained in a separate world
Always looking in through the bars i am enclosed in.
I am limited
to limited happiness.
And i am keeping myself
from loving you more
or loving you less.
Always in a constant struggle to keep a balance
where neither of us gets hurt.
Nov 26, 2014
Nov 26, 2014 at 12:18 AM UTC
I see the world
through a small lens
so the robust
and infinite hugeness
of it
won't completely terrify me.
Nov 10, 2014
Nov 10, 2014 at 10:06 PM UTC
There is this girl that I know.
She dreams in large doses that swallow her up.
She shies away from reality
as consistently as she shies away from me.
She sees the world in black and white,
with paper clouds and dull surroundings
Even when I tell her of all of the colors.
And she always clings to the possibility of love and acceptance,
as if they are the origin of her beating heart.
But still she believes
The world is a big and scary place, waiting to consume her.
That all of the possibilities it holds pressure her to be better, to excel.
She takes the things she has for granted,
and believes that happiness is something that takes an army to achieve,
And she doesn’t have a kingdom.
But how she is wrong,
Her dreams are made up of a gifted imagination that can take her anywhere.
Reality is nothing to fear, nor something to fight.
And the world is her canvas, ready to absorb whatever she desires.
She has nothing to fear,
The world is herbivorous, and feasts on happy endings.
All that’s asked of her is to be sincere and experience happiness,
no matter where that takes her.
But mostly what she doesn’t understand,
Is that she is surrounded by soldiers ready to fulfill their duty.
That love and care for every piece of her,
Honorable or
morose.
And as long as they are there to guide her,
she is invincible.
To live in this beautiful free world,
Is to live in an abode of possibilities.
Were the trees whisper secrets,
bending their skeletal bones to achieve their one desire.
The wind carries life on diverging paths,
Not knowing which direction it is taking till the last possible moment.
Were the sun cakes you with memories,
and allows you to dream of freedom in the most ambiguous ways possible.
Where water carries a current that steals away your troubles,
Carrying them down the winding river frigid with savage desires.
And the rush,
Rush of water is like blood, coursing through your veins and carrying
full responsibility for your parched temptations.
These are things that you never see-
You never appreciate.
Even when these images and feelings and thoughts are POUNDING on your eyelids,
Attempting to find sanctuary in your mind.
Open yourself up, and
Feel the glory of life.
Because the one thing you never do is appreciate the dips and curves and mountains and valleys and
Oceans
Of people.
It contains.
Feb 8, 2013
Feb 8, 2013 at 1:50 PM UTC