Perhaps it is only now
I am discovering
the depths of my brokenness
go beyond border, barrier,
core, and atmosphere…
that I am out there, scattered
to make a universe
of dust and fire, shattered debris
stretched light-years across darkness
burning glimpses through the distance,
pacing heavy circles ‘round myself
to find a center so far from the heartland.
But I can bring
only so much order
to my chaos, reason
so well with madmen,
my method is a shadow
of the sweet wisdom torn
to pieces by too much of one’s own company.
I am separated to fill void with void,
a noise-induced silence, song of songs,
I am attempting to cancel myself out
of all in one that will never again be All And One,
I will atrophy every part until my stars are numb
and the sense comes that I was Never
and None.
My mind is a web made of
mirrors that reflect the mysteries
of what is now history, that
distort the present and come to
blind me with flashes of
all the could-be’s, would-be’s
and all the could-have-been’s
I am a damsel living
in a world that is not
quite fit for me, but I’m
afraid there is no choice
but to Let It Be, and
though perfection is
unattainable, happiness
might not be so far
I am a recovering perfectionist
and I am trying to learn the
beauty of a land where not
everything aligns, where one
man’s flaw is another’s design
I passed the new york in your eyes notriously
before ever really speaking the language that they shrieked
the rigourus dimensions
the pale fingers speak
send your signals to me
fly seas
dance in breeze
remember the ****** when in her blackened tongue she speaks
fragility giving birth to her gritty skeletons
came to me one night and begged me to breathe
poetically told me it was me the universe seeks
not who they said I was
but to shed the hiding technique
the ill and sly words in my tongue raging to leak
the ordained freak and the memories
laying in the back of my mind somewhere,
those
those real antiques
to my side I kick those ordinary bullies
and now Im watching them burn in the lowest average of these cities
I let my hair grow
wear bright colors
and dance the dance of the gipsies
I take life back further than the fifties
then further then the thirties
I run to the cemetary and mingle with that one zombie
the one who I let go of
and let him explain to me the details of my hidden worries
he tells me to let them go
I shoot the fatigued oldness in the heart with the spine of my arrow
I make loves to all my shadows
I hallow in my very mellow
state of mind
my intrinsic phsyco
my cronic rainbow
I dont need your superfiality
because as human I have won the mental lotto
Jan 3, 2013
Jan 3, 2013 at 11:06 PM UTC
Soda becomes *****
bikes become cars,
kisses turn into ***
Remember when dad's shoulders was the highest place on earth,
your mom was your hero.
Race issues was when who cloud run the fastest
War was only a card game.
The most pain you felt was when you skinned your knees.
Goodbyes only meant till tomorrow,
You and friends never worried about boys and girls,
Falling in love and evolving into shattered hearts and fragile
word that meant everything.
Drama didn't exist.
and we couldn't wait to grow up...
Dec 24, 2012
Dec 24, 2012 at 1:49 PM UTC
Deliverance comes as midnight falls
Echoing screams trapped within loves walls
Dwelling in silence embracing the night
Eternally ****** to face the light
Entombed far away in a cemetery gate
An angel of darkness had long sealed my fate
Biding my time like a prisoner I've waited
Every second without you I've patiently hated
Shadows dancing on graves in the pale moonlight
Illuminating the path of the ravens flight
Delivering a message I've so longed to read
Awoken from slumber now I must feed
You've waited as I have for what we both know
Bathing in darkness our souls are now whole
Washed clean of the sins that our hearts both bled
We're finally freed and no longer dead
Dec 23, 2012
Dec 23, 2012 at 2:16 AM UTC
Silence builds an awful wreckage of a girl
It feeds on loneliness and creates a void
Gray shadows haunt and torment and torture
A teenager that is stricken and broken
There is no sound of happiness and laughter here
The little one has thrown in the towel today
Somber melancholy moods decay the soul
It is futile to hope, and dream, and pray
Emptiness builds a home in the woman
In this girl, this child where hollows have bred
A deepening sea of nothingness consumes
And eats away at every connecting thread
Confusion feels like a savage inside her
Till nothing considered worthy remains
Destined to walk through life less ordinary
Alone, exiled, different,and disdained
Dec 23, 2012
Dec 23, 2012 at 1:50 AM UTC
Beauty is ever to the lonely mind
A shadow fleeting; she is never plain.
She is a visitor who leaves behind
The gift of grief, the souvenir of pain.
Dec 21, 2012
Dec 21, 2012 at 6:05 PM UTC
My head is heavy
And my heart is weathered
Already strained by the vein
My feet are on the ground
But I remember every word
Cause I don't wanna live this way
I know it's not alright
Letting it **** me slowly
But I'll live again
I'll find my way back to me
That smile will come around
Cold mask here again
Never showing gratitude
Stranger inside of me
I held every lie in my hand
Never admitting right or wrong
Cause I don't wanna live this way
Dec 21, 2012
Dec 21, 2012 at 2:02 PM UTC