Those days are so dark
When death seems like a joke
Not a single hand to hold
Emotions untold
The new beginning to an end
Leaving my scars behind
The new painting
I bet you won't remember me, said I
Mockingly walking out of the room just like they did out of my life
Little did they know
That they paved the way to my death
Murdering me brutally
With words and their act
Slowly and peacefully
I'm closing my eyes, promising
No death by the hands of mine
I'm falling in love with this feeling
Perhaps only a dead would know
The feeling of not feeling
Anything, anymore.
May 3, 2018
May 3, 2018 at 2:02 AM UTC
They told me you shouldn't cry
I believed and lived in wry
They told me you should understand
And so I stood still waiting for a hand
They told me you should smile
Turning it upside down, yet another hostile
They told me you should express
I wrote in words of blood and along came distress
They told me not to whine
Hence my resort, a glass of wine
They told me you are wrong
Very well thought I, let's now sing a song
Alas, satisfied.
Appreciated by my own
For the brave person I became
Positivity that they admired
Meanwhile came
A voice from within
Mourned, screamed, tremored
And whispered
"Are YOU still alive?"
Mar 9, 2018
Mar 9, 2018 at 6:49 AM UTC
I've forgotten what it is to feel more alive,
Each day
To hear my heart beat with emotions,
The panting while I walk,
The sweat after running,
The eyes watering to see my family after ages,
The laughter of friends,
The pin drop silence of the class acknowledging my presence,
The anxiety before a large audience,
The tears through comedy sitcoms,
The love of the dearest,
They say "This too shall pass."
What if it won't?
What if this is what one chooses?
With all the life I can pump back in my body?
Alas, no strength to feel an emotion!
No more space for a personality.
Trapped in my body
Is a soul which feeds on your darkest side
"Isn't the bad stuff easier to believe?"
Jan 6, 2018
Jan 6, 2018 at 10:34 AM UTC
How I killed myself
A thousand times
And more.
Only to plead for a life
Just once.
Oct 12, 2017
Oct 12, 2017 at 11:52 AM UTC
*Will your world come to a halt,
When one day my breaths will do;
Or it will be marked by laughter-
The signature of you?*
Oct 12, 2017
Oct 12, 2017 at 9:56 AM UTC
Sitting on the bench
Dungeon dark
Blood rushing, violent thoughts
Lights flickering
Silent cries
Swollen eyes, vengeance solidified
A sudden urge
Ugly middle position
And that my friend is how a
Psychopath was born.
Because mommy told me
"Not everything has to be set right"
Let this be imperfect forever.
Let me go crazy
Mistaking me for my impishness
They gave me a new identity.
Everything was lifeless and I found it bewitching!
Why does everything have to be so dark thought I
When I can paint the world in red.
Favourite.
The blood of thy enemies,
The peace of my mind.
Was just like I had learnt in Science
Directly proportional.
Dear Lord grant me pardon
For I have sinned,
Letting my mind control my heart
And let it win
But how helpless am I
For my heart was never mine
Losing it to the devil,
I knew I had found my life.
Oct 10, 2017
Oct 10, 2017 at 3:38 PM UTC
Don't tell a rose how to grow,
And The birds how to chirp.
Don't tell your daughter to be soft,
Don't tell your son how to hurt.
Don't tell the sky what color to bleed,
And a person, the right way to grieve.
Don't try to tame your daughter's tongue,
Don't tell your son the manly ways to love.
Don't tell the wind which way to blow
Or the clouds how hard to rain.
Don't teach your daughter how to soak,
Don't show your son how to easily reject.
Don't tell the sun to adjust its light
Or the truth how to show itself.
Don't tell your daughter it's feminine to shy,
Don't teach your son how to reign with fists held high.
Don't tell a heart how to beat
Or the mind how not to soar.
Don't clip off your daughter's wings,
To make them a foundation for your son to grow.
Don't tell a rose how to grow,
Lest it decides to turn its petal into thorns.
Don't tell the birds how to chirp
And have their voices turn into rebellious growls.
Jun 26, 2017
Jun 26, 2017 at 6:34 AM UTC
She is the strength that I breed,
She is the fresh air that I breathe.
She is the beauty that they all see,
She is my ocean and even my sea.
She is the light in the dark,
She is often the target of my words like a dart.
She is my sleep in the night,
She is my confidence through the worst niete.
She is the veil that protects me,
She is the love that I mean.
She is the tears that cry for you,
She is the tree growing up as a yew.
I never told her how much I loved her,
I never really needed to.
She could always see what I would become
She was beyond special
She was my mum.
Jun 25, 2017
Jun 25, 2017 at 1:22 PM UTC
I slipped up.
I slit cuts.
I didn't mean to.
I drew blood.
I read online
When I was probably just 14 or 15 years old
That most people don't stop until their 20's
And it scared me
But I thought
"No, I'll stop right now"
But I didn't.
I couldn't.
I slipped up.
I slit cuts.
I didn't mean to.
I drew blood.
And now that I'm older
It hurts more to try to hide it
And now that I have people that care about me
Often times they don't understand why this part of my life is still relevant
And all I can say to make them understand is
I slipped up.
I slit cuts.
I just had to.
I drew blood.
Jun 18, 2017
Jun 18, 2017 at 2:57 PM UTC
I'll sit there all alone,
Hoping you'd join me in my zone
I'll listen to you,
Hoping you'd hear my truth just like few
I'll walk with you through your darkest times,
Hoping you'd wander in my thoughts and mind
Will you remember me?
When I'm gone .
Will you miss me?
When you're lost.
What if I promised you
That I'll never leave you alone?
Would you still bother
To forget me not?
Jun 6, 2017
Jun 6, 2017 at 2:52 PM UTC