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shhitsnina
shhitsnina
20/F/sydney overprocrastinator & tea lover
once as a secret she confessed she'd like to know whose birth would be her death i like these kinds of thoughts too back when i was in school i was shocked by the phrase i passed by 'never shall those born to crawl, learn to fly' and ever since i've tried to figure out such and such and why those born to fly crawl so much
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Jul 19, 2019
Jul 19, 2019 at 7:49 AM UTC
as a secret
last week i would drown in a sorrow but now i sleep just 'cause i'll see you tomorrow.
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Jul 18, 2019
Jul 18, 2019 at 8:49 AM UTC
tomorrow
we got ourselves we got old cities inside of us that you never know how to spell. we got someone we got paintings that you leave on hold and they never get done. and that's completely fine and we can do whatever, the only rule is 'don't hurt anyone', and i don't know about you but i get hurt from time to time you'll never know i upset i was when i said 'hello' but the answer was silent and it hurt, although it was probably a word that just wasn't heard. so many times you ask if i'm okay and i say i'm fine but it's just a lie, a lie, a lie because all i did in a past few days was just laying in bed and i was sad but i couldn't cry. and i keep my mouth shut for the past year because i a fear that i won't be heard or my voice is unclear so no one is ever near. i demand from my words to be peculiar and weird when the same thing can be said with other words with my voice i shouldn't be ashamed of the way i speak in my therapist's words, i am a perfectionist and i never thought of myself like that, aren't they people who do everything well and stuff? apparently, i was so wrong and oh, god, that makes sense. i want everything to be the best and want to time to be spent so things in my mind get intense. and won't ever say something like this in real life because no one understands. i hate to repeat “i’m not good enough” ‘cause everyone’s thinking of something else and they think that i say “i’m not good enough for someone” but i actually mean that i’m not even enough for myself.
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Apr 9, 2019
Apr 9, 2019 at 9:51 AM UTC
a brief history of my insecurities
we got ourselves we got old cities inside of us that you never know how to spell. we got someone we got paintings that you leave on hold and they never get done. and that's completely fine and we can do whatever, the only rule is 'don't hurt anyone', and i don't know about you but i get hurt from time to time you'll never know i upset i was when i said 'hello' but the answer was silent and it hurt, although it was probably a word that just wasn't heard. so many times you ask if i'm okay and i say i'm fine but it's just a lie, a lie, a lie because all i did in a past few days was just laying in bed and i was sad but i couldn't cry. and i keep my mouth shut for the past year because i a fear that i won't be heard or my voice is unclear so no one is ever near. i demand from my words to be peculiar and weird when the same thing can be said with other words with my voice i shouldn't be ashamed of the way i speak in my therapist's words, i am a perfectionist and i never thought of myself like that, aren't they people who do everything well and stuff? apparently, i was so wrong and oh, god, that makes sense. i want everything to be the best and want to time to be spent so things in my mind get intense. and won't ever say something like this in real life because no one understands. i hate to repeat “i’m not good enough” ‘cause everyone’s thinking of something else and they think that i say “i’m not good enough for someone” but i actually mean that i’m not even enough for myself.
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i don’t want a title i don’t know if i ever wanted anything i don’t think i ever thought that i’m enough i don’t really ever feel a thing and i hate to repeat “i’m not good enough” ‘cause everyone’s thinking of something else and they think that i say “i’m not good enough for someone” but i actually mean that i’m not even enough for myself. and the fact that i learned today is that i don’t need to be enough for me because i know i never will and i just have to accept that.
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Nov 28, 2018
Nov 28, 2018 at 7:51 AM UTC
title, if you want one