close you eyes and, watch
as these words hypnotize
I want to feel your lies
talk to me like I'm in your dream
"shh"
you say as I scream
"honey" rolls off your tongue
I listen
as you take the air from each lung
I need a new fix
your language doesn't mix with mine
so why do I keep wasting my time?
I promise you,
I'll be just fine
I...
can't break the cycle
of your old recital
so
take a bow
because I'm about to avow
May 3, 2014
May 3, 2014 at 9:33 PM UTC
I want to stay
in bed
and have you remember me,
because we can't talk about it
now
listen closely,
this is the last time
we will remember,
how we wish it would have worked
you're image is beautiful
and I
love it
I'm
coming home
so get Mary to sing
the lost words alongside
Molly
and forget about it
all
forget about it
all
and sit there
in our memory
of this home,
it was so perfect
we planned it all,
on the couch,
in midday
with
the sun peering through the window
to match
my dress
I'm
coming home
so scream Molly
to help you
escape your trap
within Mary
and forget about it
all
I will remember you well
because often is a relative word
that whispers in strangers ears
of past melodies
heard through kitchen curtains
of midday memories
I'll remember you well
Feb 16, 2014
Feb 16, 2014 at 6:39 PM UTC
As a young child
I remember lying
in my parents bed,
between them,
wrapped in their blankets
and
engulfed in their snores.
I had just
woken up
from a nightmare,
scared, tired,
and trying to
self-sooth.
I
watched
as my mothers stomach
inflated and deflated
with every
lingering breath.
I tried to pace my own
in the same steady ongoing rhythm,
because only then,
would I not be sick.
Lying there
consumed in the dark
of the night,
worrying about
what the day would bring
and what my dreams would unleash.
Feb 6, 2014
Feb 6, 2014 at 10:02 PM UTC
Brother,
things keep us in the rain
we can be like the music
as I melt inside
I'm having too much fun...
all my best
Jan 30, 2014
Jan 30, 2014 at 10:08 PM UTC
I wish I could live
within the warm confines
of your bed,
wrapped in the thoughts
that fill your mind.
Can you take me there?
Only for a little while.
Because I don't want to
bug you
but
I can't
bring myself to leave.
Cold pizza never tasted this good.
Nearly
four am,
I can almost see the sky begin to
wake up,
when I haven't even
thought of sleep,
or home
in the hours that have
passed us by.
I wish I could stay.
It doesn't have to be here.
Just somewhere,
somewhere where
I can feel you
close to me, and
hear your heart beat
faster and faster
with every whisper
I let hit your ear
Tell me to stay,
and I will.
Tell me to leave,
and I might
never come back.
Jan 26, 2014
Jan 26, 2014 at 9:04 PM UTC
I couldn't seem to see your face last night
in my dream.
Only the right side.
And when I tried searching for it
all I could find was
the reflection of my mothers smile.
The one she gives to all of her party guests.
I knew
you were gone.
But for a second there, I
didn't believe God
had taken you.
Now that I'm awake
all I want to do is cry.
I know I'm supposed to be strong but
I miss you,
all the time.
Your face keeps emerging
on strangers bodies.
I
wish you would stop playing tricks
on my mind
because the reminder
hurts.
It hurts not only me
but the people I love.
I can't seem to control
what comes out of my mouth when
you're near.
I wish
I could run
to the safety of your home
and
tell you all about how horrible being nineteen
really is.
I wish you would
wake chlo and I up
in the early morning to see if
we would join you on a run,
only to be let down
by the groans of
the language of sleep.
I wish I told you that
you mean the world to me,
and
you were more of a mother
than my own will ever be.
I'm scared that I'm forgetting.
I know it's not healthy to
live in the past
but I can't help
having the urge
to make you proud
of the person I'm becoming.
The one who leaves flowers
by the accident, and
who can't seem to
forgive that man for
swerving off the road
when,
I know I should.
Jan 24, 2014
Jan 24, 2014 at 8:29 AM UTC
I can't breathe today
or any other.
I haven't been able to
for the past fourteen years.
My throat burns
with what today brought out of me.
I failed.
Failed to tell you that
I'm sick
in the head.
Failed to tell you that
I don't need your help
but I
want it.
I failed to let you know
that I love you
without saying it.
I failed to let you see me
cry.
I wanted to keep it all in but
somehow
it managed to escape,
out my lungs and into the cold
harsh air of
January's reality.
I don't want to face it all
but
you keep on taking off the
blindfold.
These "feelings" make me sick and
all I want to do is be with you.
Be beside you
and
sleep through the night
knowing you're there to hold me
if the room gets too cold.
Jan 23, 2014
Jan 23, 2014 at 10:56 PM UTC
I sit here
unaware that the tapping of
the yellow pencil in my
right hand is disturbing my neighbor.
I used to call him every saturday morning.
As I try not to fall asleep again
during first period,
I think about him,
about what I would take back
if I could.
I'd take back that look of sincerity,
because I wasn't.
I'd take back all of those
hours we shared in Central Park.
Not because I want to erase him.
I just want to
erase who I was.
A girl with
a reality that had been
soaked in arrogance.
Someone who didn't know
when or why
to say no.
I should have
said no to him.
I loved that he loved me.
Not because it was
him who loved me
but
because it was
someone new.
Maybe if I tried hard enough
I could have loved him back or
at least pretended to.
I don't think that
any amount of trying
would have made me
change my mind.
I can't stand people
who get mad at p(r)etty things.
Jan 9, 2014
Jan 9, 2014 at 5:16 PM UTC
You can leave, now that
you have my heart.
It follows behind you
when you go,
and takes my mind along with it.
I can't sleep without dreaming
of you.
I can't eat without feeling
nauseous over our past.
Breathing becomes hard with it's
unwavering feelings of drowning.
Drowning inside of this grey area.
You are to far away
for me to keep on
reaching.
All I want is to
escape you.
Escape us.
We will never be
again.
I tried for so long that
I've grown tired of
reaching for something
that doesn't come back
to me.
So if you would be so kind
as to leave my mind,
I would be forever grateful
for the favor.
Jan 8, 2014
Jan 8, 2014 at 9:58 PM UTC
You saw the brand new skinny ghost.
It was lost in a dream.
Beside you, you felt the inflating lungs of an angel.
Then emerged the duo.
The one the notebook created.
It left you thinking.
I saw you sitting there, on the edge thinking.
Your face morphing into a ghost.
You claimed that change wasn’t new creation.
Psychologists say that you’re trapped within a dream.
I scream because we were the extravagant duo.
Take away the angel.
Did you love the soft ways of the angel?
She always left me on the ground, thinking.
Why did she escape the duo?
I begged her to be the ghost.
Fill my head with beautiful dreams.
Take me to the time of creation.
Jan 8, 2014
Jan 8, 2014 at 9:08 PM UTC