I’m friends with this girl named Ana, I started to eat less.
Hating the person in the mirror, my life has become a mess.
My best friend is named Ana, she always talks to me,
She tells me to skip meals, maybe two or three?
Ana is the one I listen to, she’s smart and full of advice.
I’m starting to get smaller, my health is the sacrifice.
Mia is my friend too, she pushes me around.
The food has become the enemy and I couldn’t lose a pound.
I’m scared of this girl Ana, I can’t get her out of my head.
It finally occurred to me, that Ana wants me dead.
Mia hurts me too, she makes me want to purge
Buying lots of binge food, I cannot stop the urge.
She even hurts my throat, it burns with every retch.
She even makes me exercise, it hurts when I stretch.
I hate Ana and Mia, they make my life a hell.
Someone please hear my silent screams because she won’t let me tell.
I’m a prisoner of Ana, I’m captive to her will.
I’m doing everything she tells, how can I be fat still?
My murderer is Ana, she starved me to the grave.
My heart finally stopped beating, I failed to be brave.
If you want a happy ending, this story’s not for you
Ana and Mia are silent killers and they’ll even **** you too.
Mar 11, 2016
Mar 11, 2016 at 1:28 PM UTC
drowning in caffeine
breathing the nicotine
my blood cant circulate - your love will stimulate.
the ****** of death in **** will simulate
your touch , my need
as we spiral in to sin
separation , depression , paranoia
anxiety - the absence of my sleep
aggression , desperation
toxicity - of a drama we are in
discoloration - i can't control the spin
screams - muted by bitter pills
our dreams - induced by the acid
capsuled lives - longing self destruction
your embrace - disconnection
release me from what is real
obsession - for what we cannot fix
frustration - for what we can't control
memories - of what we used to be
delusions - of what we could have been
isolation - thoughts of being free
now voices dictate what i should feel
digging through my skin - opening the wounds
put your fingers in
remembering the days when we held
an illusion no drugs could replicate
i can't forget.
exchanging promises of never letting go
was it all in my head?
i can't escape the hole.
i walk the road alone.
Jan 23, 2016
Jan 23, 2016 at 4:40 AM UTC
Sometimes in the summer and maybe in the spring,
I'd call to see how you are but you'd never answer.
June was your favourite month
and the 25 leaves that fell off your favourite tree.
But you weren't around to see
them so you pictured them in your head
and I pictured you too and I'd picture the times we
spent together because they
were the best times but now
that you're dead I picture you
more often even years down the line when your body is
gone but your legacy lives on.
Oct 4, 2015
Oct 4, 2015 at 1:56 PM UTC
We've all seen brighter days
When the sun is out and the rain goes away,
When the person we love, loves us too.
When the person that's dying, finally pulls through
But bright days can't stay bright forever,
And the person we love doesn't want us to be together anymore
And the person that's dying is at death's door.
We've all seen brighter days
When the bad days are gone,
But in order to get through them
We must carry on.
Oct 4, 2015
Oct 4, 2015 at 1:53 PM UTC
I try to write you back,
but were you ever mine to write?
Oct 4, 2015
Oct 4, 2015 at 11:28 AM UTC
the average human
describes their heartbeat
as a thud-thud or a few
rough pats to the chest.
i fall asleep with my ear
pressed up against your
chest. all i can hear is the
echo of a captain yelling,
"let me sink...let me sink..."
i ask you how you would
describe your heartbeat,
you point to the ship
in the bottle mounted on
your father's bookshelf
& faintly say
*"the glass bottle keeps the
ship from sinking, completely
blocking out the captain's wish
to learn how to breathe
underwater because air just
isn't doing its job with keeping
him alive."*
your break up letter to me
went a little something like;
**"you were built in the fire,
stop acting like you burn in it.
you were never made to be fragile,
you were never made to be my glass."**
my plead for you to stay
went a little something like;
(20) Missed Calls
your final goodbye
went a little something like;
a thud thud to the pavement.
& my final goodbye was
cracking open a bottle on your
headstone & standing in the sea
with the water rising up to
my knees, with a small ship in
the palm of my hand, a dunk
underneath the tide & a faint
whisper, "breathe."
Oct 4, 2015
Oct 4, 2015 at 11:26 AM UTC
Love
doesn't know who I am
nor knows who you are
Mutual it is
words uttered beyond thinking
actions done beyond imagining
Regret
comes after the words uttered
or after the actions done
Irrevocable it is
one can never fix
one can never repair
for everything's broken
Hurt
comes with Love and Regret
you can never love truly
if it doesn't hurt
same as regrets are not regrets
if there's no hurts' presence
But
if these three weren't felt
then
Happiness
can't be attained
It's like
connecting the dots
You sometimes follow
the wrong direction
Yet, in the end
you'll be right there
at the right destination
Oct 4, 2015
Oct 4, 2015 at 7:38 AM UTC
The eerie silence, the disappearing echo.
"Goodbye" you said as the door slammed shut.
The emerald eyes, the woman's stiletto.
A love that was crushed like a cigarette ****
The lies that lasted, the love that did not.
Your sweet nothings were no longer sweet.
The trigger of a gun, the loudest shot.
A love filled of regret and deceit.
The flood of tears, the blood stained hands.
A love so distraught and never to last.
The screaming sirens, the constant demands.
A love that remained in the past.
You left me for her but you paid the price.
You're to blame for your own demise.
Sep 30, 2015
Sep 30, 2015 at 12:31 PM UTC
Amy Helen Smith – 1928 – 2015
You had years until your 100th birthday, we’re sad you had to go.
But now you’re with your husband and the angels that love you so.
They’re going to look after you and make you feel at home.
They’re going to keep you safe and help you not feel alone.
You’ll always be missed by everyone, you’ll be loved by us all.
We’re staying strong for you and we’re trying to stand tall.
But your departure hit us hard, harder than we expected.
And when we heard you died, it was even harder to accept it.
It wasn't your time but you were torn from life.
Maybe you were needed up there,
But were still unaware as why.
May 27, 2015
May 27, 2015 at 12:14 PM UTC
The days go on, the nights get longer.
She can’t keep fighting, they’re getting stronger.
The thoughts are sinister, they keep her awake.
They’re taking her life, for goodness sake.
Do you see what’s happening? She’s fading away.
The thoughts are powerful and leading her astray.
The days go on, the nights get darker.
The demons are growing and becoming smarter.
This girl is dying, she’s mentally weak.
Her moods are low and never to peak.
She can’t live like this, so let her die.
It’s her time to go and say goodbye.
Apr 2, 2015
Apr 2, 2015 at 11:53 AM UTC