Forlornly I will rest
in this melancholy nest,
that hums for me the tune
of my beloved doom;
and as the clock’s chime
bears heavy on my mind,
I will swim to you
in a sea of new
one last time.
Dec 17, 2012
Dec 17, 2012 at 5:23 PM UTC
The burning
that runs its course through my veins
is not there
because I asked for it -
it is there because you put it there.
All I wanted to do was run,
but you tripped me
and beat me down
until I was glued to the ground
like the Titanic is glued to the ocean floor.
And when there was no energy left
for me to fight back,
you slipped the needle in my vein
and pushed
every last bit of lonely darkness
into my body.
Suddenly,
there's energy to scream -
there's energy to worry and cry.
I feel my own heart
beat faster than the rhythm
of an olympic sprinter's feet.
I feel my hands shake
like those of an ****** addict.
I can feel the caffeinated insanity
latch onto my thoughts
and pulse through me.
I didn't ask for this,
but I sit here
and feel it.
Jan 18, 2012
Jan 18, 2012 at 6:42 PM UTC
All I know of you
is the love I had for you
when I fell into this dream.
You were beautiful,
the way the sky turns orange and pink
at the end of an exhausting day -
slowly revealing a sky of starlight
that has taken years on end to reach my sight.
There was a sudden pull -
whether I toward you or you toward me
I'm still not sure -
but I know it was there.
You were swaddled so tight
in a blanket that bowed to your beauty.
Warm, needy eyes peeked
from behind peachy little eyelids,
laying full trust in my hands.
Before I knew it,
you were gone.
They took my baby.
Her name
is a bittersweet taste in my mouth.
Their words are
branded on my face -
"Ma'am, please sit down.
You're not being rational."
"There is no baby."
There is no baby,
but I feel her.
I feel her like a twister
pulling me in,
but I've been put in restraints.
Regardless of the ache in my bones
begging to be with her,
they've locked me up.
I am detached from reality.
Everything is wrong.
No one can tell me where she is.
They act as if
my eyes are turning to goo
and sliding out of their sockets -
avoiding eye contact
in fear of sympathy rising in their souls.
They stay on my trail,
dabbing away anxiety
as it seeps from my pores -
hoping I won't see or feel it.
I smell their fear
as I pace back and forth,
brainstorming my escape.
My dear Astrid,
where could she be?
I feel her tugging at my heart,
begging for a heroine.
Adrenaline is burning through me -
screaming at my body,
demanding I run for my baby
find my baby.
And my dream ended.
I've spent every day since then
looking for my baby.
I feel her in my heart.
Maybe she's real
and maybe I'm crazy -
either way,
I will never forget
my beautiful, stolen, and forgotten
daydream baby.
Jan 7, 2012
Jan 7, 2012 at 11:16 PM UTC
I know you don't know this
but that's why I'm writing it.
When you called me baby girl last night,
everything inside me that's felt dead
came back to life.
It was like you breathed life into me,
like god did to Adam.
Even if you didn't mean to
you just created a whole new world.
Feb 27, 2011
Feb 27, 2011 at 5:31 AM UTC
The closest I can
get to you is
the farthest I can
get from here -
the farthest I can get from
these dreadful Columbus clouds
that protect me from
the unknown,
the lonely cornfields that grow
and grow, but
only grow lonelier.
But I like the clouds that
blanket me at night, keeping me
warmer than you ever could.
And I love the way the sun
rains orange and pink on the lonely
cornfield, and the way the cornfield
soaks it up and saves it
for another day.
I could love you if
you could love Ohio's cornfields
and cloudy days.
Jan 30, 2011
Jan 30, 2011 at 4:00 AM UTC
You invade my space,
Making my eyes tear up
And my lungs burn.
You even make my mind dry.
Taking you in becomes so easy,
It becomes effortless
Like one swift drag,
You become as simple
As one swift drag.
And then
Everything you are
Spills out of my body
And clouds all around me.
I lose you.
I lose me.
I look at the world and see
Peace.
I see so much love
Flying everywhere.
I can feel it.
I am lost in it.
I am lost in you.
Dec 13, 2010
Dec 13, 2010 at 3:49 AM UTC
I can feel the trees breathing.
I can see them
inhale our blemished truths,
pulling them deeper and deeper
until their souls are filled with fantasies.
I can see them
exhale all their dry, dark worries,
trying to force them out,
but the power embeds
in their lungs,
deeper than the fantasies can reach.
When I watch them
I can feel them breathing their worries
right down my spine
just as I've breathed my blemished truths
into their souls.
Oct 15, 2010
Oct 15, 2010 at 7:40 AM UTC
Your words hum in my bones.
Not the honey sweet hum of jazz
as you watch rain smooth over golden leaves,
not the haunting hum of strangers
grinding their opinions with coffee beans
and serving it with high hopes of persuasion,
but the guilty hum of a little girl who is shutting herself
in a room with a thin plastic lock,
a room with garbage waist high
that let's off thick, charcoal black pollution
that poisons her pink lungs,
as the external hum of her favorite song
slips into the hearts of her loved ones
and seals like a jar filled with warm strawberry jam,
until it's all yanked away...
The hum of a miscarriage in the hearts of her loved ones
as she bursts.
Your words hum in my bones.
Sep 30, 2010
Sep 30, 2010 at 1:04 PM UTC
I am from garbage trucks invading the streets,
bringing young ones to the window.
I am from the hum of the washer
bleeding into layered daydreams.
I am from charcoal painted on eyelids.
I am from opinions stronger than the smell of coffee.
I am from bones deep in closets,
buried by golden memories.
I am from the honey sweet songs
mama whispers.
I am from the deadly faces of strangers
and the suffocation of opinions
spewed as facts.
I am from the smoothest jazz
to the heaviest rock.
I am from
books with plastic casings
stacked high in the grass
on a sunny day.
I am from
every word or statement I have ever heard
to ever word or statement I will ever say.
I am from
late night fires
with sweet tea, the song of the night, and the light of the stars.
I am from
the soft smell
of a baby's head
to the feeling of thick smoke
filling tired lungs.
I am from the denial of death
to the hesitation of life.
I am from
smooth rocks under bare feet
to cold, harsh rain stinging sun-dried skin.
I am from strength
and weakness.
I am from me to you.
That
is where I am from.
Sep 27, 2010
Sep 27, 2010 at 2:47 PM UTC
Wishes and dreams
carried by the wind
to a place
no one knows
but everyone dreams of.
Mother Nature's wish.
Mother Nature's dream.
Peace.
Love.
Happiness.
All condensed into one thing.
One dream.
One wish.
One idea.
That everyone must live by.
That everyone strives for.
But why do you strive for an idea?
Why do you strive for dreams or wishes?
After all, they’re just dreams and wishes.
They’re just ideas.
Nobody can tell you this one idea is right.
They cannot tell you with the sincere truth and knowing from deep within their pitted souls.
Nobody can tell you what your eternal destiny is.
You have to tell yourself.
You have to say it with sincere truth and knowing from deep within your own wandering soul.
And to find that knowing, that truth,
You must search for your wishes and dreams
That have been carried by the wind
To a place
No one knows
But everyone dreams of.
Sep 15, 2010
Sep 15, 2010 at 8:19 AM UTC