A deep dark throbbing void
Thoughts of a long lonely road
Standing at this juncture, self-sacrifice
Half a life gone, of turmoil, turbulence
For better, for worse, for whatever it is worth
That chapter, that door, tightly shut. No more filth!
Never to be open again, never to peek in
Half a life, ya Allah! Have mercy. Show a sign!
Dark heavy clouds hovering around
Sunshine and hope peeking all the same
Peace of mind, a relief at times
Turmoil and angry bursts at other times
Standing alone under the shower
Under the roof of an empty house
Cry into the emptiness, the void forever
Wash away the tears, the fear, and the worries
Walk out to the world with a confident smile
No one the wiser to the dark ugly turmoil
The bursting pain behind the eyes, clawing out a mile
Clawing the sides, clawing up, a bursting skull
Yet, standing tall, standing proud
Is that pride? Is that strength? Is that weakness?
Weakness to reach out, seek help
Alone, alone!
Alone in to the world from darkness to the light
Alone out of the world from these blinding lights
Out to the darkness of gate of hereafer
Time will come to meet the lord, to make things right
Until then play this game of life
Jun 20, 2015
Jun 20, 2015 at 7:27 AM UTC
It is a curse to believe you need the certainty,
To live life expecting a ting of morality.
It is an insatiable need to maintain,
A scream in vain.
It is obnoxious to believe you can know someone,
It is an impossible feat for anyone,
You cannot dwell deep and fix their scars,
No one reveals all, not when it's their secrets hidden behind their own prison bars.
It is a myth, a legend,
That love solves all,
It is a children's fantasy to believe in the fairy tale end,
And yet, I try, even faced with the growing wall.
There were storms and plague,
Emotions which were vague,
The pain seemed unending,
And yet there was no craving for a new beginning.
Things have ended before,
I figured it out so it fled my core,
Some were easy, some hard, some I let go and some I fought,
But you, I still try, to figure out.
So that is the story, that is the certainty,
A joke upon a joke on my soul that needs the clarity,
To realize I can never be certain,
Hence unable to stop trying, a mess, a failure, an outcast in pain.
Sep 22, 2014
Sep 22, 2014 at 3:38 AM UTC
you are the calm of the torrential rain
good from far, get drenched out there
you are the stars in the sky
twinkling from afar, unattainable reality
you are the blue of the horizon
ocean meeting the sky in a straight line
you are the green of the mountain range
jagged here and there with gigantic rocks
you are the blazing hot sun
upfront, upclose, not safe for me to be bare
you are the mellow yellow moon
melting my heart, putting my guard down
you are in my dreams and waking thoughts
making me weep of joy, also of sorrow
you are ...
so much more ...
you are my proverbial shoulder, my punchbag
Jun 9, 2014
Jun 9, 2014 at 11:46 PM UTC
I miss you like one would miss bruised knees
(From all our time on the floor)
I miss you like I miss the bottom of the cement pool
(Even though that's where my friends are)
I miss you like I miss razors raking my skin
(But my arms still beg for more)
I miss you like I miss the party scene
(Still think of it from time to time, though)
I miss you like flowers miss winters frost
(Cold and biting, never giving in)
I miss you like I miss hands around my neck
(I think I'd still say I love you, yet)
May 4, 2014
May 4, 2014 at 9:20 PM UTC
many a time in life we see,
people coming together, the guilt their fee,
the mystery, the secret, their favorite glee,
brief but satisfying as long as they see,
understanding that, what they feel would never be free,
the best time in their life, it could turn out to be.
Apr 28, 2014
Apr 28, 2014 at 11:12 AM UTC
Mesmerised, I look into your eyes,
a cold wind, as we begin
Our journey, t'ward Eternity.
My hand waiting for yours,
the stars, they soar.
We are floating above Mountains,
drinking from Fountains,
sipping from the elixir of life.
My eyes open,
the token of your love, in my left hand, a Ring.
The future it promised to bring.
Once more I am alone,
i no longer own, this moment.
The leaves they dance, as our romance,
leaves behind Morsels.
A shell remains,
engulfed in flames,
a furnace of Self Blame,
i take the plunge.
And i walk, i eat
our Memories, Plans
your Final Goodbye
your Wants, Demands.
The marching band drums
beat in time with my Tortured soul,
we were Supposed to grow old.
I pick up the fork and force down Guilt,
upon the foundations we built,
cemented together by loves haze.
Worlds at a time, I combine,
Mine and Yours,
Unopened doors.
The house we never furnished,
the walk we never took,
the book that was never written,
Our story unfinished,
Your life Diminished.
I sit, take a sip of my tea,
it doesn't taste the same.
The razors don't take away the pain,
of hearing Your Name.
Apr 28, 2014
Apr 28, 2014 at 10:25 AM UTC
each word you delicately write
is taken from a page of my heart
I feel that you must know me
the pain I've felt from the start
it torments and pulls
yet you'll never know
you pen your lines so innocently
my emotions combined with your flow
your words of love bring tears
an unbearable ache inside
were you there with me
on those many nights that I cried
you wrapped me up in your stanzas
kissed my head with gentle thoughts
so I could lose myself in literature
with alternate breaths, we held a pause
my heartbeats matched your meter
only this form kept me alive
while I sleep, consumed in darkness
my story you continue to write
Apr 24, 2014
Apr 24, 2014 at 7:07 AM UTC
Drinking in the sight of you
The slow burn in your eyes
I often don't know what to do
As you leave me hypnotized
I breathe in your scent
And your fragrance fogs my mind
I focus on the small fragment
Of what you could be hiding inside
Soft whispers and feather touches
That you provide leave me breathless
Timid smiles and stolen glances
Make my wild heart so restless
And you seem to come closer every time
To show me what I still cannot see
As if you try to make our lips align
or is it just me?
Apr 24, 2014
Apr 24, 2014 at 7:06 AM UTC
*I want to paint your body with delicate
brushes of my words.
A scenery in which all is wonder and yet
there is nothing to ponder.
I want to write you in to my love notes,
envelope you in the soft embraces of
cadence of blankets as you caress the
words with the trail of stars that is your
eyes.
Fill the landscape with soft hues of Spring
to show you how much you mean.
I want to write you in to my verses and
expand the time you occupy in my tale.
Let me write you like one of my poems,
a liberating free verse you can fly upon
and expand.*
Apr 23, 2014
Apr 23, 2014 at 12:16 PM UTC
One day
I want to write a poem
That captures your soul
In the adjectives
Describing the sky
One day
I want to write a sentence
That you will carry
In your memory
Scarred and stained
For an infinity
One day
I want to write a short story
Of a guy
A lot like you
And a girl
A lot like me
With no lies
Only honesty
And a forever that lasted
Just a while
One day
I want to write a paragraph
About the sea in you
And the sea in me
And how we fell in
Each other
And never needed to come up for air
One day
I want to write a dictionary
With all of our own definitions
Of everyone else's words
It will start from the letter Z
And end on A
Because it will be easier
That way
One day
I want to write an essay
On how the sunlight
Made patterns on your skin
Even after you lied
And shadowed the constellations
Screaming honesty
Into the dark
One day
I want to write a novel
About the way your voice
And his voice
Sounded
Just before
You both were about to cry
One day
I want to write lyrics
For the song
I meant to sing to you
About the moon
And the sun
And how they dance
Whenever all of our eyes are closed
Even if it's just for a second
(Light
Always travels faster
Than sound)
One day
I want to write you a telegram
With someone else's hand
To tell you
How much I miss you
And how my heart
Is not in my chest anymore
Really-
It's shattered across the sky
Just for you to see
One day
I want to write you a letter
To tell you
That you didn't know what love is
And neither did I
But
I still love you
Apr 23, 2014
Apr 23, 2014 at 12:12 PM UTC