"I wish you well."
(but not too well without me)
Apr 22, 2014
Apr 22, 2014 at 11:34 AM UTC
I wonder if you’d want to know
I named all of my demons after you and
they haunt me in my sleep
when I was 14 I fell asleep in April and dreamed of bones and
I’m not sure I’ve really ever woken up since
when I lost 5 pounds I never saw a difference
when I lost 10 my mother said I was looking good
when I lost 20 she told me to stop and handed me food
and I became anemic
when I lost 25 I stopped drinking anything because
I felt water had calories
when I lost 30 my mother held me on her lap
and held my bones together for me
when I lost 35 I started fainting every morning and
the doctors could no longer easily find my blood pressure
when I lost 40 people started to stare and food made me cry
when I lost 45 it hurt to walk and to lay down
it hurt to eat
it hurt to breathe and
I started throwing up my empty stomach
the mind plays tricks on those that decide
nourishment is not needed
Eat.
Apr 22, 2014
Apr 22, 2014 at 11:33 AM UTC
once upon a winter day
i took my pen and paper pad
and wrote down every
unspoken word in my head
it saddened me to see
how many there were indeed
is this how things would be
if i had just let them free?
once upon a winter day
i sat down with a cup of tea
and couldn't help but
stare at the scars on my wrist
they remind me of how i was
and how i still am
how i've changed and
how things have changed
once upon a winter day
i said goodbye for the last time
to my friends and my foes
to those i held dear
i was slowly fading away
just like my scars
i walked home alone again
knowing it was time to end my stay
once upon a winter day
i wrote my last words
on one last piece of paper
maybe now i'll be heard
i took my pills again
more than i should have
but it's okay because
this time i'll find peace
Nov 10, 2013
Nov 10, 2013 at 10:31 AM UTC
a waltz with death
a dance with the stars
as the last breath
leaves my lips
i wish i had never left your arms
Oct 29, 2013
Oct 29, 2013 at 1:27 PM UTC