My day’s coming soon
Will I fall to my knees in self defeat?
will I hold my head up high whether or not I succeed
Will I see it coming or will the darkness creep up behind me
Can I avoid being too late
I must get ready to be put away
My own conscience lying in wait
This is the bed that I have made
I don’t listen to myself anymore
Its my mistakes that have made it this way
In my head is too much to take
An infinite amount of worry each day
Stress anxiety paranoia this is my mental state
Thankful I still remember to pray
Pray unceasingly a privilege so great
In Jesus name these bad habits I break
Tempted enough to expect it will never go away
I can start over if I suffer through the pain
Oct 26, 2018
Oct 26, 2018 at 3:24 PM UTC
Fantasies of a being in a Family,
Collecting Clouds that dim reality.
Looking the past in the eye of tragedy,
Better off than dead, it is so sad to see.
Never anything more; only to Abound in secrecy.
Time & time again; failing to see it through
How do you expect me to fall in love with you?
Will you stop yourself? will you ask for help?
Or will you just continually act a fool?
Lies are owned in the mirror
Inability to tell yourself the truth
Will you start with something new
Or go back to the old tried and true
Simply dying to live
Is music the only reason to breathe?
Will you ever stop running to hide?
Making excuses and manipulating chance
Cry out for real for once
To fall in love with your self, first desire the painful relief
from dropping your heavy head in your tired hands
Jul 19, 2018
Jul 19, 2018 at 7:04 PM UTC
Well.. no I don't know what to call it,
a bond that cannot be broken.
When I'm with you, I can't stop fallin',
I just forget about this town full of nothin'.
I wasn't ready to fall in love,
but in you I put all my trust-
I began to go to bed
& I found out how to rest
but i'm never too tired-
my heart is on fire.
wakin' up to that good mornin kiss
can you believe what time it is?
i never thought it would feel like this
we been kickin' it for a while
and i finally found out
that its me and you against the world
i know you feel my baby
what we got is crazy
did you ever think that I would be your girl?
I wasn't ready to fall in love.
But in you I put all my trust.
We began to go to be We found out how to rest
But i'm never too tired my heart is on fire
wakin' up to that good mornin kiss
can you believe how late it is
i never thought it would feel like this
my pain disappears when you walk in the room
i'm beginning to miss you when you start lookin for your hat
knowin' its time you gotta go
dont worry though i'll be right here waiting when you get back
i wasn't ready to fall in love
but in you i put all my trust
we began to go to bed
and found out how to rest
but i'm never too tired
my heart is on fire
wakin' up to that good mornin kiss
can you believe we slept this late again
i never thought it would feel as good as this.
Mar 27, 2018
Mar 27, 2018 at 6:11 PM UTC
Im about to peel the skin off my face.
*Its
the
millionth
worst
day
ever
that i cant seem to escape*
W a s t i n g all this p r e c i o u s time
pretending because i continue hesitate..
Not sure of myself at all anymore
I have to save my soul before its too late
To Leave everything or to stay?
Which is my biggest mistake?
Mar 21, 2017
Mar 21, 2017 at 6:35 PM UTC
I Surrender my self to God. For He is ready to take my pain away and lift my burdens.<br>
<br>
I need a way out.
I been praying so hard with my mind and my mouth .
If only my distractions could disappear and turn my direction into a direct route.
Until im shown the way i will continue to pray and let go of all this doubt.
Seeking God first brings peace in the storm and in Jesus name will deliver me right now.
Serenity is what i desperately need.
As prayer is the most powerful thing in the world as long as it is truly believed.
Time though i fear is being wasted as i still am drowning in the sea.
My comforter shines Light inside of me and i thank God for confirming my faith is concrete.
As im standing on the top of the bottom , i can begin to breathe.
Washed white as i confess my sins , and blessed as i repent.
Praying harder now than before saying thank You Lord for rescuing me again.
Where would i be without my best friend?
Severely wounded, Blind, lame, and lost.
Id be so confused no matter what i did.
Feb 15, 2017
Feb 15, 2017 at 3:52 AM UTC
Every one of these girls.
Wants to be my muse.
But baby I ain't ready for that ****
I'm just way too confused.
I could take you in.
Swim in the hearts I've collected.
But baby in the end.
You might find yourself rejected.
I'm a dangerous mess.
Never was good at abstaining.
You can be my addiction for tonight.
A sweet affliction I ain't restraining.
I know all the right ways.
To do the wrong things.
I know how it feels.
To have a heart that stings.
Am I the worst?
Or just worse than you expected.
What if it was reversed.
And it was my mind you infected?
Sep 13, 2015
Sep 13, 2015 at 4:35 AM UTC
You enter
Riding on a soundtrack of rising blood pressure and self defeat
Every conversation kills itself at the sight of you;
A joke not quite worth telling, that no one would laugh at anyway
Every eye stops to stare at you
An aging car crash of a human
Wrecked and painted in dried blood
Seducing onlookers with a rinky-dink smile
Missing the convenient yellow caution tape that tells you life stops here
You complain to fill the spaces left by your depleting self worth
That wasn't much there in the first place
**In the mirror you see dirt
And you can't wash it away**, no matter how hard you try
***Cause you're ****** in all the wrong ways
Up until you die***
Unintelligently designed
Your stupidity is almost genius
You blame others for mishaps that you have gained
Your sickness a silent auction
Anyone could have caught it
Infectious Anonymous
Attended every week
And yet you're still so pathetic
you don't accept you're a disease worse than any flare up that could take hold
You don't know how to recognize the facts that you've been told
You complain to fill the spaces left by your depleting self worth
That wasn't much there in the first place
**In the mirror you see dirt
And you can't wash it away**, no matter how hard you try
***Cause you're ****** in all the wrong ways
Up until you die***
Sep 13, 2015
Sep 13, 2015 at 4:29 AM UTC
I don't typically get inspired by flowers or trees,
But sometimes,
I'm moved by the way the wind breathes through the leaves.
I'm not usually hypnotized by beaches or the ocean,
But every now and then,
I feel a connection to the waves, how they crash, over and over again.
I can't say I'm always motivated by music or a catchy beat,
But occasionally,
A song plays and I can't help but get up and move my feet.
I haven't felt inspiration in many things before
But today I realized,
You captivate me, draw me in, every day, more and more.
Your voice, your smile, your eyes, even all your bad moods,
All the time,
You inspire me to write, to laugh and to simply DO.
I guess what I'm trying to say is...
You're my muse.
And I love you.
Sep 13, 2015
Sep 13, 2015 at 4:27 AM UTC
You feel a champion of your own ignorance
And gladly boast about it
You've managed to climb and trespass other's rights
Neglecting how they feel
Creating your own scenes and contradicting in the movie.
How happy can you keep having many people you hurt
That much to feel ontop of the world when you don't even know your true self
So forgetful given your age, you dig to hide in a burrow
The road is wide
expand to a size worth your control
Too much excitement kills visions
Sep 13, 2015
Sep 13, 2015 at 4:27 AM UTC
I was hurt, I had thought it would heal fast, but I was naive
someone like me won't need something like love
a person's feelings are scary
having to act strong even when I'm weak
having to smile when I'm hurt deep inside
but I guess it doesn't work that way
being in love can be so painful
it's upsetting to think that to her I just exists
and nothing else
Sep 10, 2015
Sep 10, 2015 at 7:06 AM UTC