Hungry thoughts pierce my soul
Reminding me of what I’m missing
The light passes over my eyes
Reminding me of what I’m not seeing
I stare helplessly at the curtains
They hold in as much light as they can
I brace myself for the changing of the clocks
I hold in as much light as I can
Sitting up in bed, covered in my mistakes
I look over at my latest blunder
Thinking of the excuses I will spew
I look over at my constant living
Last night’s love opens their eyes
I wait for their regret to pour through
They expect me to start the end
I wait for their excuses to follow
When I open my mouth, my hand follows
Tracing the light on their face
The body cannot lie about love
Tracing the truth with actions
My hand gets caught in my mistake
Trapping me at the edge
All remorse leaves their eyes and they are
Keeping me at dawn
Apr 20, 2020
Apr 20, 2020 at 12:28 AM UTC
Our souls have known each other
for a hundred years
And yet I am meeting you
for the first time
Apr 16, 2020
Apr 16, 2020 at 5:36 PM UTC
Dear logic,
It's been a while since we've seen each other.
I can understand why you think I've abandoned you.
I thought you left me. Maybe we left each other.
Waving goodbye as I hop onto the train. Off to see brighter things. I'm writing to you to tell you, I never got to those brighter things.
I took a detour and somehow landed in fear.
Everything is dark, logic. Nothing makes sense.
But somehow I do what they tell me to. I can't stop myself.
Now my body is covered in the words that I whisper to myself right before I close my eyes and pray for sleep.
My mind knows only the pleas of help that sometimes get through the muddy marsh and blackened forest.
I'm hoping you could tell me how to leave.
I can't seem to find the escape route.
Everything in here lies to me,
and i'm tired of lying to myself, Logic.
Sincerely, A hopeless girl lost in a world of lies.
Apr 16, 2020
Apr 16, 2020 at 12:33 AM UTC
Though the lotus shares a bond
With the muddy and murky pond,
Yet lotus is holy and precious,
As our birth never defines us.
What we make out of ourselves is vital,
Only that aspect is important and crucial.
Apr 15, 2020
Apr 15, 2020 at 1:58 PM UTC
It arrives,
Unnoticed, unannounced.
Quiet,
At first.
Slow,
Seeping, dripping.
I put it down to a few stressful weeks.
I carry on.
It unpacks,
Worries, anxieties.
Gently,
For now,
Tiptoes,
Whispers, creaks.
‘It will leave soon’ I think ‘It always does.’
I keep going.
It settles in,
Getting comfortable.
Getting louder,
And louder.
Banging thoughts,
Insomnia.
‘Please don’t be happening again’.
I shuffle along my daily routine.
Claws in,
Insidious.
Screaming,
24/7.
Shame, worthlessness,
Hurt.
‘Please go away’.
I’m barely coping.
Growing roots,
Into my brain and heart.
Blossoming pain,
With every beat.
Emptiness, loneliness,
Abandonment.
Silence, Stillness,
‘I can’t move, I can’t cope.’
Apr 15, 2020
Apr 15, 2020 at 1:36 PM UTC
I scream when I am forced to
I am a virago
I fight back when I need to
I am a virago
I wield my power when I want to
I am a virago
Apr 15, 2020
Apr 15, 2020 at 5:44 AM UTC
I am not myself
when the moon sits in my head.
My dreams are lost on a shelf
while I am chained to my bed.
I didn't know I was sinking
when I swam to shore.
But I coughed up what I had been thinking,
and was surprised by all the gore.
I cleaned what I could
and moved to my other side.
I found another creature that stood
where I had once died.
There was lightning in their eyes.
An aura of scarlet shown through.
They spit out hateful lies
to twist my world view.
Another battle shall commence,
One that will haunt me for life.
I give my friends my recompense
for the constant sharpening of my knife.
I have been a brave soldier
for longer than I can remember.
I am done seeking the closure
that steeps my mind in burning ember.
Apr 15, 2020
Apr 15, 2020 at 2:04 AM UTC
How many times do
You remember the
Light touch of
People loving you?
Dancing in the starlight
Asking for your hand
You always laugh,
Lazily standing and spinning
Intriguing me enough to chase after you
Galloping through the clouds.
How are you always just out of my reach?
Teasing me with your eyes, as we do it all again.
Just watch, I beg you
Killing me slowly, with your brightness
Entranced within your holiness, has
Taught me the best way to love is to
Beat the haters at their own game.
Begging is never enough for you
Always pushing me to the edge of
Salvation, how is it you can survive the
Hate that courses in your veins?
Apr 15, 2020
Apr 15, 2020 at 1:55 AM UTC
Silence is the only thing I hear now.
It wakes me up in the morning,
it greets me when I come home,
it kisses me goodnight.
Silence even lurks around in my dreams.
But I never knew silence could be so deafening.
I don't hear the cries of joy or hope.
I don't hear the pleas for forgiveness.
Silence blocks it all out.
My world is lonely... and yet so loud.
Sometimes I'm happy I don't have to hear the lies,
but other times I wish I could hear the 'I love you's.
Apr 15, 2020
Apr 15, 2020 at 1:06 AM UTC