Do you remember the times that we spent together
Where you still said you loved me through all the violent storms we went through
We've broken hearts and we've told the broken hearts lies
And we check through our minds for people that checked in
Like they had some sort of reservation in our heads
But do they remember, part of me hopes so
Do you remember the times that you would say that you loved me
Do you remember the times that I asked if you meant it
And you said why would I say something I don't mean
You could look at me and say it with a smile
And blow me a kiss that made me want to stay awhile
And I'd wake up early just to text you before you went to school
I guess I played the fool
Through all of this I knew it was just an illusion
I fought through my delusion
That killed my head and I just wanted someone to be there
Wanted someone to stay until I said I was done
If this is what you called our love then I don't know what's so deranged
I'm not hung up on you I'm just mad at you more because you said you'd be there
Even as a friend but every time I message you the message is read
I thought you needed time so I waited a couple months
And I tried to talk to you again like you were just a friend
But what I was confronted with was someone who had changed
You'd changed for the worse not the best
And god I still wonder to this day how could I forget how much I cared
I used to lie awake in my bed wishing you'd talk to me
But someone who was once just a lover became and enemy
Someone who'd lie to me so easily
Now look into my eyes and say that you loved me
I'm screaming at you and **** I'm so angry
I let myself be the victim of someone who's so diabolic
You lied to me and it made me bleed and scream
You made me cry myself to sleep every night
I wasted my time on such a pretty face
And I loved it when you put up your hair into pigtails
But now I just wish I could tear that picture of my book of photographic memories
See I wish I could say I was like you but the truth is I was depressed and liked you
And even though I'm still depressed and suicidal Im looking out for myself more
So I don't have to be stuck with another person like you
If I could've written you off easily I would've
Even when we were together something about you made me sick
You made my stomach turn and I saw your true face
When I wanted to **** myself and you called me by your ex's name
I'd rather hang my head in shame because I met you
Than lift it higher and say it was something I lived through
Because you are waste of time and space
And I hope someone does the same thing to you and puts you in my place
Because there's nothing worse than being lied to about someone loving you
Jul 15, 2014
Jul 15, 2014 at 6:35 PM UTC
What a fearful thought
The one I love to me to leave
She said she'd find someone better than me
Someone that wouldn't leave her screaming
She said that everything was bleeding
And I was the cause
As if I was the problem
She broke her promise
These thought keeps me awake
And I can dream
"Just let me sleep for ***** sake!"
I scream every night
I fall unconscious for awhile
I wake up to her lovely smile
Her eyes glistening
She tells me she's not ever leaving
She says that she will never find anyone better than me
She says I'm the solution to her problems
I feel her warm embrace
I see the smile on her face
Her soft lips so inviting with each kiss
Maybe I have finally found bliss
I'm drawn back to reality
I realize everything is okay
That everything works out at the end of the day
And she's here to stay
I'm glad it was all just a fearful thought
Apr 6, 2014
Apr 6, 2014 at 4:09 PM UTC
Feeling so hollow
Hoping never to see the day
Never to see tomorrow
Feeling as if I have nothing to say
Maybe I should stick my mouth shut
Sew my eyes closed
Drown in the suffocating ****
Cancel the sights that I took in and overdosed
I try to feel joy
I try to feel this
But, still I'm just a decoy
All in all this is it I'm just stuck in my hollowness
Apr 2, 2014
Apr 2, 2014 at 10:21 PM UTC