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sargafust
i don't know what i'm doing 99% of the time
All I want to do is S C R E A M To yell so loud The world around me shakes As these endless feeling keep piling up higher & higher And I know very soon I'm just going to B  R  E  A  K -
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Feb 12, 2020
Feb 12, 2020 at 2:10 AM UTC
I need an outlet
If I survive this week's utter chaos, I can pull through anything.
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Feb 9, 2020
Feb 9, 2020 at 12:23 PM UTC
promise of a ****** day
I visited Sophianae last week to see a flock of ravens who had large, black beaks and weary, calloused eyes and glossy scalpels. They gazed at my divine, God given gift; my spine, a tree that holds up my being, so twisted up and torn down. They sighed in exasperation. I almost felt their equipment splitting me wide open; instead I imagined I was lost at sea with Odysseus; then I saw clear: their scalpels were glossy from salty, fallen tears and broken winged dreams.
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Feb 9, 2020
Feb 9, 2020 at 12:21 PM UTC
Health Problems
On the day he died King Arthur ordered his knights told them to prepare to fight and maybe even die; He was brave and so was Mordred who put a sword through his father, the once and future tyrant. At Camlann, the day was hot, yet so cold; the air was misty and the sea boiled; The trees tilted away looking scared and ashamed; The prophets were quiet, tight lipped, they sat up high, chain-smoking on the peace pipe. Mordred's head was pins-and-needles. He clawed at his sword in stress, looking at the opposite camp. He thought of his mother at Avalon, wondering if she'll bury him there or his father. What will he do upon arriving with heavy steps on the fields of Camlann? He feels lost. King Arthur was brandishing Excalibur, lost in thoughts of murderous sons and treacherous friends and cheating wives. He was reminiscing of his sister and the ***** secret that lay, all his shame, out in the open. “'Tis long overdue.” He pondered. Then came the hour, the minute, the second; On the plains of Camlann an ordinary soldier saw the heavens through the clouds, while the great knights were busy with bloodbath and sacrifice. He screamed with joy and terror as the swords clashed with each other. In the midst of the bloodthirsty, confused horde was Mordred, a ****** smile on his face and his ragged blade tore a gaping hole in his father's abdomen. As soon as he hit the floor, Lancelot came from beyond. He was too late; his king dead, his queen devastated, banished; she fled unwilling, but obediently. There was only one thing left to do; Lancelot knew well. So King Arthur met his end at Camlann and died with his son, Mordred. That was the day their lives ended; The lake Avalon took them in and swallowed their bodies whole; Lancelot watched the fire burn away. Nimue, at the bottom of the lake, broke the sword in half and wailed. The world got quiet and moved on, carrying the weight of forever lost Camelot.
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Feb 7, 2020
Feb 7, 2020 at 4:34 AM UTC
The End Days of Camelot
On the day he died King Arthur ordered his knights told them to prepare to fight and maybe even die; He was brave and so was Mordred who put a sword through his father, the once and future tyrant. At Camlann, the day was hot, yet so cold; the air was misty and the sea boiled; The trees tilted away looking scared and ashamed; The prophets were quiet, tight lipped, they sat up high, chain-smoking on the peace pipe. Mordred's head was pins-and-needles. He clawed at his sword in stress, looking at the opposite camp. He thought of his mother at Avalon, wondering if she'll bury him there or his father. What will he do upon arriving with heavy steps on the fields of Camlann? He feels lost. King Arthur was brandishing Excalibur, lost in thoughts of murderous sons and treacherous friends and cheating wives. He was reminiscing of his sister and the ***** secret that lay, all his shame, out in the open. “'Tis long overdue.” He pondered. Then came the hour, the minute, the second; On the plains of Camlann an ordinary soldier saw the heavens through the clouds, while the great knights were busy with bloodbath and sacrifice. He screamed with joy and terror as the swords clashed with each other. In the midst of the bloodthirsty, confused horde was Mordred, a ****** smile on his face and his ragged blade tore a gaping hole in his father's abdomen. As soon as he hit the floor, Lancelot came from beyond. He was too late; his king dead, his queen devastated, banished; she fled unwilling, but obediently. There was only one thing left to do; Lancelot knew well. So King Arthur met his end at Camlann and died with his son, Mordred. That was the day their lives ended; The lake Avalon took them in and swallowed their bodies whole; Lancelot watched the fire burn away. Nimue, at the bottom of the lake, broke the sword in half and wailed. The world got quiet and moved on, carrying the weight of forever lost Camelot.
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64
"I shut my eyes and all the world drops dead; I lift my lids and all is born again. (I think I made you up inside my head.) The stars go waltzing out in blue and red, And arbitrary blackness gallops in: I shut my eyes and all the world drops dead. I dreamed that you bewitched me into bed And sung me moon-struck, kissed me quite insane. (I think I made you up inside my head.) God topples from the sky, hell's fires fade: Exit seraphim and Satan's men: I shut my eyes and all the world drops dead. I fancied you'd return the way you said, But I grow old and I forget your name. (I think I made you up inside my head.) I should have loved a thunderbird instead; At least when spring comes they roar back again. I shut my eyes and all the world drops dead. (I think I made you up inside my head.)"
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Feb 5, 2020
Feb 5, 2020 at 3:12 PM UTC
Mad Girl's Love Song
Light streaks gleamed through the Cracks in the clouds; O Heaven! O Hell! Take me home!
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Feb 5, 2020
Feb 5, 2020 at 3:10 PM UTC
I Looked Outside The Window
Like a serpent   it tears through me; Conducting   my body in turns   and twists, as it pleases,   as the warmth pools in pits   in my stomach, my gut   tells me to ***** I feel detached. Forever lost in a void,   the empty space of a thought   that I truly am alone. "Help!"   I yell, over and over and over   like a damsel in distress. I am too tall, too dull. my body is too far   for me to reach and grip   and curl up and pity   who I used to be   and who will I become,   after the blue light of my phone   dies down and falls   down through the sewer hole   in London Soho. And all the while I stand,   unforgiving of the past,   erasing my name on documents   but still looking back at Them. I'm always gonna look back. I'm never gonna escape Hell.   and while Hell is Paradise   and Paradise is Purgatory,   and the choice is mine,   but I will never be able to decide; Is it better to die   or to die and keep dying,   until I am reborn and never   seen again by the Neighbours   next door   who last saw me drinking coffee   and reading a poem.
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Feb 5, 2020
Feb 5, 2020 at 12:55 PM UTC
Past, Present, Future