You make me feel like I don't matter.
And that.
Really.
*****
Jan 8, 2015
Jan 8, 2015 at 3:17 PM UTC
what's the point
of all this passive, tight-lipped anger?
it doesn't arrive as a heated storm,
pounding heart, bath of red, poison-tipped tongue.
it sits calm and constant,
and rots,
rots away my chest until there are too many holes to fix.
besides, you've long since stopped trying,
or stopped looking,
whichever fits you best.
but maybe one day- if i'm lucky-
this anger will eat me away entirely.
Jan 5, 2015
Jan 5, 2015 at 9:59 PM UTC
When you break a mirror
You don't dust off your hands
and say "Well,
I'd better glue this back together."
No.
You replace it,
Because even though you've picked up every tiny shard,
Even though you've painstakingly fit together
Every last splinter,
It's still just
A broken mirror.
So I hope you know,
After all this time you've wasted,
All this glue you've slathered on,
This project only ends
With me
Bearing my own cracked reflection.
And I wonder,
Is that enough for you?
Jan 2, 2015
Jan 2, 2015 at 6:20 PM UTC
some days they are sad. sad about the weather, sad about the thing that happened last night, sad about losing their favorite book, sad about their coffee being cold, sad about the fact that they can't find matching socks. lots of things make them sad, lots of nothings make them sad too. you see, when you have a predisposition for being sad, every little thing counts. so when you ask her why she is sad and she cannot answer, do not press further. do not go looking for a reason that just isn't there. when you ask what you can do and she says nothing, do not be hurt. do not feel useless. when she wakes in the middle of the night and she is silent, but you can feel the bed shaking as she cries, do not assume you know what she is feeling. you don't. hold her if she wants it, don't touch her if she doesn't. if you ask her if she wants you to stay and she says yes, do. but if she tells you to walk away, do not listen. stay with her, because if you don't, she might not be there in the morning .
Jan 2, 2015
Jan 2, 2015 at 5:28 PM UTC
Sometimes I feel like there is someone inside of me and she's scratching at the walls of my mind and struggling against all the knots I've tied her in. Sometimes I can't fight anymore and she walks around wearing my skin and my clothes and talking like me and laughing like me and breathing like me. Sometimes I know she will do things that I would never do- she screams and cries and cuts us apart and says things just to hurt you and pushes everyone who's trying to help us away and gets angry at nothing and breaks everything. Sometimes I hate everything about her especially how she hates everyone she's ever known and how well she knows how much the lines of love and hate intersect. Sometimes she blurs us together until we can no longer recognize ourselves as separate. Sometimes I am her. Sometimes she is me. And sometimes,
We are us.
Nov 25, 2014
Nov 25, 2014 at 8:10 AM UTC
i do not recommend having an anxiety attack when you’re driving
i do not recommend laying in your bed in the darkness in the clothes you wore out today
i do not recommend sulking
i do not recommend being alone
i do not recommend letting people get to you
i do not recommend listening to sad music
i do not recommend thinking listening to sad music will make you feel better
i do not recommend ever letting anyone break your spirit
i do not recommend showing weakness
i do not recommend speaking to someone you care about when you’re upset because you will say something you deeply regret
i do not recommend taking out all your stress on your coworkers or the customers you come across at your job because they truly do not care
i do not recommend telling anyone or anything your problems other than your pets or your notebook
i do not recommend writing sad poetry
i do not recommend listening to the person you’re infatuated with’s favorite song on repeat because it will only make you hurt more
i do not recommend drinking your tea right when you steep it because it will burn your tongue
i do not recommend overthinking
i do not recommend writing sad poetry
i do not recommend writing sad poetry
i do not recommend writing sad poetry
Nov 15, 2014
Nov 15, 2014 at 10:12 PM UTC
You’re the boy who tucked razor blades beneath his tongue
But pointed blame when he tasted nothing but bitter metal
You’re the boy who tied his arms around his tin chest
Because he thought he could hide the missing pieces
Of the heart beating a broken rhythm on his sleeves
And you’re the boy who knocked me down and stole my naked trust
As if I couldn't see where you had carved my name
Into the curve of your smile
Nov 13, 2014
Nov 13, 2014 at 8:43 PM UTC