Do you think that there are others
Who've also met lifetimes ago
who continue to find each other
over
and over
and over again
Throughout the courses of their lives
Teach and grow and mold and flow
Piecing fleeting moments together
In order to create a reality
That is altogether ours entirely
Existentialism and bourbon on Saturday
Pancakes and prayer filled Sunday mornings
We'll hold church between my thighs and remember what it's like
To believe in something other than God.
May 5, 2016
May 5, 2016 at 12:52 AM UTC
You’re like all the nice parts of everyone I’ve ever dated.
Except there’s none of the parts I hated.
I wanna make you breakfast every morning, nap with you every afternoon.
Wake up to dessert on the kitchen table.
You bring out all the parts that hide from me
A trigger filled landmine
You’re my landline but god **** I’m lying if I say I’m fine
Because I’m ****** up and the truth *****
That I want nothing more than your touch
Say it again, run away with me
We’ll sit in the sand
Take my hand
And we’ll wash away our sins like the day we were baptized that one Sunday
But we don’t believe anymore
And you don’t call me like you used to
Trying to forget the mess you made
Telling myself that it will be okay
Though you’re in my head fifty times a day
Of course I’ll pick apart every word you ever said
Turning them over between my fingers
And I remember
The way your hair smells like honeysuckle
And your laugh feels like velvet
Your skin, like silk.
Or my favorite **** rug, depending on the day.
Except you’re not turquoise, but I would nap on you every **** day.
Coming up with words to fight this tugging in chest.
And I’m trying so hard to forget the imprint you left on me.
But I can’t seem to get my **** together.
Fighting a one sided battle, within this skull of mine.
Arguing with reality, for its lacking credibility.
Had a date with the reaper.
Handed me the shovel, I told him I needed to wait.
Because while my lungs struggle for air
I’d rather feel this way
For it’s a sign that I’m alive
And that you’re in my life
If only when I sleep
So, I’ll meet you in my dreams
Where we have no fear
I promise to court you every night
So that you wake up embraced by the beautiful light
See you on the other side
Jan 28, 2016
Jan 28, 2016 at 11:43 AM UTC
I'm content with my discontent.
Because at least now I know that we're linked.
By what I don't know.
I'm still achy.
But no longer used up.
This is where we're supposed to be.
This is what I'm supposed to say.
Lessons learned, inch by inch.
Afraid to fall, but I forgot my parachute on purpose.
I'd follow you for a thousand miles and leave the map at home.
Waiting for headlights and glances filled with secret romances.
Jun 6, 2015
Jun 6, 2015 at 10:25 PM UTC
And I'm learning to love myself all the same. Without your taste between my teeth. I want it all, and I want nothing. Blue eyes, with pupils the size of dimes. Come here my darling, let me be your novocaine. I'll numb the pain in your lungs when you breathe. Take my breath away as I whisper his name. Three layers peeled, half past three; what a coincidence that might be. Hold me once more, and tell me you're proud of who I am again. Let me be the pillow you sob into at night, while you lament your life. Cradle yourself in my chest, I'll share my breath. But you're under lock and key, and I've misplaced mine. Skin as smooth as your words, and fingertips as cold as your heart. Aching, and a wetness around my eyes. Sorrow not for you, but for my inability to take away your discontent. Sink your misery in my fingertips, I'll promise I'll burn them away with this next cigarette.
Aug 27, 2014
Aug 27, 2014 at 11:48 PM UTC
I don't understand how my body can be in one place.
But pieces of me reside in you.
And somehow there's still left over bits of me left underneath his fingernails.
And when I hear your voice, all I can hear is the way you sound when you say "I love you, Sarah."
Love me. Love all of me.
Because there is not a single day where you don't cross my mind at least thirty times.
And there is not a single week, where your voice doesn't show up in my head.
I don't understand how the sky allows these thunderstorms to enter her.
Or how the shore lets the ocean continuously kiss her, even as he erodes away her edges.
And yet, I allow you to do the same.
My hands don't feel the same as yours.
They're not as rough, but I'm learning to love them all the same.
Aug 27, 2014
Aug 27, 2014 at 11:40 PM UTC
You don't like who I am anymore. You see my true colors you say. If this is true then you must see the red burning my chest and the grey that's become my lungs from all the cigarettes I smoke to get you off my mind. If what you say is real then none of this ever happened, every word, every kiss, every touch completely invalidated by your words. Your words like venom sparked by the anger and jealousy that torments your mind, but you don't see the tears in my eyes because I've stayed up too late and now I'm watching the sun rise. You don't see the way my stomach clenches up when that **** breeze blows by and I breathe you in again. It gets me every time. You're stuck in between a rock and a hard place, but this time I'm just the hard place. I'm uncomfortable, making you ache like an anchor on your chest. A burden carried around in your pocket like a ton of bricks. Ones that weigh you down and yet keep you free.
Aug 27, 2014
Aug 27, 2014 at 11:37 PM UTC
And in that moment there was an understanding, becoming a witness to the pieces of me falling away as I leave the terminal. Two parties miles apart but tied together by these light posts which illuminate the darkness between us.
Wedging myself between the two as if to say it's me, not you. No longer will you take residence in a place that is not your own. No longer will you be allowed to swim in the membranes of his chest. For I flow through these arteries. I stake claim in the unknown. An unknown home that has been robbed of it's most valuable possessions. Take what you will and leave. For I am tired of allowing strangers in my souls resting place.
I don't remember what it's like to be touched by another's hand but yours. I don't remember what it's like to taste lips that aren't soaked with secrets with a hint of sweetness. And the thought of being robbed permeates my pores, poisoning my veins. I'm sitting here screaming, waiting for you to turn around.
You know, when the breeze blows just right, I can feel the way it felt with my head buried in your chest. And the way you smelled of coconuts and lime. So I'll close my eyes and wait, until I'm back in your arms. Reminding myself that I know how to breathe, because every time I think of you I can't remember what its like to have air in my lungs.
I'll keep these bruises on my heart as a reminder of who you are- of the beauty which encompasses your whole being and radiates light from every sweet word spoken from those rose colored lips that taste like honey. My bones ache everyday, and I'd rather it stay that way then forget your face.
Jun 17, 2014
Jun 17, 2014 at 12:14 PM UTC
Keeping myself awake until I'm too tired to think of you.
Because when I'm thinking, I'm not dreaming.
And all I've wanted to do lately is join as two.
There's this ache behind my rib cage, and a burning behind my eyes.
These sheets don't smell like you anymore, and I'm sleeping on your side.
This bed is my own again, but I can't seem to forget the way your feet cradled mine, telling me that everything would be alright.
They told me that skin regenerates every twenty eight days.
I still have twenty seven until I'm new, proving to be much more difficult, being without you.
Jun 2, 2014
Jun 2, 2014 at 11:28 AM UTC
Mistakes made, but what good are promises kept if your bed is the only other one on which I've slept? Bearing the scars on our hearts which we wear like the gold time pieces which we are. All the while making up excuses, although they are much more of delusions; explanations of poor behavior. And I'm waking up with bead head, thoughts of you in these tangles. But there's the lingering one that I can't seem to remove. My name flows through the arteries of your chest. Your name ingrained onto my spine, that way I carry you wherever I go. Longing for the way your lips sound out my name, it's burning that spot right behind my rib cage. Maybe I'll take an antacid, but it doesn't seem to pass and, I think I've begun to accept that I will hear your name in every word heard. I've begun to accept that Ill breathe in your scent with every cigarette I smoke. Your taste on my tongue with every word spoken. I'm sorry I'm such a lush, but your name's got me just as drunk and I can't seem to remember what it's like to be touched by another's hand but yours.
May 21, 2014
May 21, 2014 at 2:07 PM UTC
Late night conversations lead to early morning revelations. And there's the familiar ache of trying to erase a past that just won't take. Reminders of who I used to be when I look at you; but all I see is who I want to be when you look back at me. Lovers in past lives, maybe this time we'll finally get it right. Torn between a guarantee and a possibility, but please listen to me when I say that I'm sorry that you have to repeat yourself continuously. Its only because I'm trying to memorize the sound of your voice give me directions, when I get lost in the color of your eyes. Won't you just tell me how to get to where we need to be.
May 7, 2014
May 7, 2014 at 12:19 PM UTC