It’s 30 minutes post sunset on a Tuesday.
Today’s been languid,
My body heavy against soft furniture
I’ve chosen to walk through the last bits of dusk until darkness (however lit by street lamps) and listen to the muffled sound of my footsteps and cars passing (I’ve put headphones on with nothing playing)
A shallow stream of water has collected in the wash alongside the bike path I often frequent on these thoughtful evenings
Wondering if I should be releasing that which no longer serves or manifesting something new for my life, I look to the moon
I see a perfect semicircle, exactly in the middle of a cycle (although I’m unsure if it’s waxing or waning)
I continue my walk and enjoy the lights reflecting in the water
Lightning strikes somewhere southwest of me, there’s no thunder so I can’t count the seconds between them
I’m always grateful for the rain in the desert. It makes me feel hopeful, albeit tired
My senses have adapted to the drought
I pass a mesquite tree wrapped in purple twinkle lights, and a bat flies over head (this is the fourth or fifth one I’ve seen tonight)
Jun 9, 2025
Jun 9, 2025 at 10:15 PM UTC
Your voice is soothing and low
The mild scent of your skin has slowly become a signal of safety
But your heart is beholden to the echoes of your past -
and I cannot allow myself the freedom to crash my weight
Into a body that houses a soul so listless
If only I could be the love you truly need
The one who holds you in just the right way
Who always says just the right thing
But the jagged edges of my form poke you in places far too tender
The pain persists on borrowed time -
and I’m just grateful for the chance to sit with you
I will love you for as long as I can,
In the ways that feel most comfortable
But I will let you go before you grow to hate me
Simply for the shape of my being
Jun 24, 2024
Jun 24, 2024 at 4:50 PM UTC
I can still feel it:
the hot knife of your betrayal,
dripping out of your mouth & onto my sleeve.
There it sat for a moment
-just one-
before it burned through
& stabbed me in the shoulderblade.
I'm not proud of the way my tongue turned into a fish hook
& flew across the room to catch you by the throat.
I would love to say:
" I'M NOT SORRY"
&
"I DON'T LOVE YOU"
But those words do not tell the whole truth.
Truth is: I could eat rocks with you forever.
Laughing & crying & kidding ourselves
Feb 4, 2021
Feb 4, 2021 at 7:41 PM UTC
Don't mind how you start,
It's how you finish that matters.
Jan 5, 2019
Jan 5, 2019 at 11:55 PM UTC
forgotten words i did not write
speaking softly in the night
finding lovely ***** of light
hold them, slowly, til it's right
Jan 5, 2019
Jan 5, 2019 at 1:48 AM UTC