I’ve tattooed a line across
the veins of my wrist
and marked a down stroke
for every time
“you can’t wear red lipstick”
made me believe
I never wanted to in the first place.
for every time instead
I’ve stained my lips with cherries
learning how to tie the stems
so I can slip forget-me-knots
to the back of your throat—
do you feel my restriction now?
the razors that fly off my tongue
perk thorns on my skin,
another down stroke on my wrist
will teach me that
you were right,
shyness is a virtue.
no need to speak,
go spend one hundred dollars
and some percent for tax
to cover up,
even though I’m sure your mother told you
that cotton stains.
so make it black.
get your hair stuck
in the zipper of that sundress
and pray as you pull it out
that it will lose its pigmentation
in the process
mark a down stroke
for killing two flowers
for one bouquet.
hold it
close your eyes and throw it back,
I know we shouldn’t be wearing white anyway
but tradition can take a lot out of you
like what you really think—
don’t say **** in public.
instead drag your first impressions
all the way to the altar
and dress in your Sunday best
a flower on your lapel
clear on your lips
a stroke for the neat decline
of the son
I tattooed a line across
the veins of my wrist
and marked a down stroke
for every time
my image
was my fault.
May 10, 2015
May 10, 2015 at 4:20 PM UTC
Left, right
Give everyone a fright
Up, down
Never see your wedding gown
Left, right
Blame it on a bite
Up, down
Same as a drown
Left, right
Could be obvious or slight
Up, down
Became the talk of the town
Left, right
Are those sleeves too tight?
Up, down
Irrefutable proof of your final breakdown
Feb 14, 2015
Feb 14, 2015 at 9:43 PM UTC
I paint the roses with my sorrow
Those may see and not feel
Once, twice, thrice goes my brush as I paint the roses
You may see my plastered grin and be fooled
But only my roses know the truth
This poem may seem meaningless
Or the reader may see past
Perhaps my roses are not alone
As the petals fall
My roses are not the only things breaking
Joined at the hip
My roses weep, so frail
I now know
Why roses are red
Nov 2, 2014
Nov 2, 2014 at 9:05 PM UTC
I sit and await the highborn kinsman,
As I look below, I see only sorrow,
To purge myself from mourning cries,
To self obstruct I do abide,
The destruction of my skin shows my way to the end,
Dark shadows cast their way behind me,
Sadness seeps into my soul as I prepare my own sepulchre,
The demons among us sense my presence
Preparing the horrendous journey brought by the Angel of Death,
The demons,
the demons a motley they hide within us
Blood is shed
Battle scars last forever
But they still wont leave me alone,
The demons are at a war,
And the war is inside my head
They're calling me
Beckoning
I'm wanted on the battlefield
Prepare for bloodshed,
I am on the battle field,
It is strange,
There are many people here,
But I am the only one fighting,
Then the demons attack,
I feel their blades slashing me,
Everywhere,
But I keep going,
All I can think about is when these demons are gone,
Then I realize,
I can end it all,
But I keep going,
Slashing,
Bleeding.
Oct 10, 2014
Oct 10, 2014 at 10:15 PM UTC
*It's like drowning,
but you can see everybody else breathing around you.*
Aug 7, 2014
Aug 7, 2014 at 1:26 AM UTC
My favorite flower is a rose
When I look at you, I tingle from my toes to my nose.
My love for you is eternal,
Sometimes I write about you in my journal.
Your eyes draw me in
Our chances is a battle I cannot win.
My favorite flower is a rose.
This poem is coming to a close..
When I see you, I can't help but stare.
I like a lot about you; your personality, or clothes, even your hair.
My favorite flower is a rose...
Aug 5, 2014
Aug 5, 2014 at 12:20 AM UTC
Finally, I'm out.
I'm free
And I took the alternate route.
Done with the pain and shame.
Finished with the suffering,
Never again with this game.
So, what's next?
Just give me my wings and hal-
Oh.
Jul 29, 2014
Jul 29, 2014 at 12:13 AM UTC
How does it feel to be falling
Down, down, down
Into the deep dark abyss?
Never ending,
Rarely slowing,
Always lengthening
On the sides are ropes,
Belts,
Even scarves to help me get out
The cruelest way is people
They hold their hands out,
Ready to be grabbed
The moment you're ready for their help
They withdraw their hand,
Never to be seen again
Down, down, down
Into the deep dark abyss
This hole with an absence of color is my life
I have been consumed and trapped
Sometimes I look at the walls
There's sometimes helpful items
But others I just cant figure out
Guns?
Knives?
Even broken glass,
I wonder why
Could I be arming myself for something?
Perhaps the war on my sanity
I looked into the glass and saw someone
I did not recognize it as me
I saw a smile stretched across my lips
It even showed in my eyes
I gripped the image tight in my hands
The glass only broke more
It shredded parts of my hand
Bleeding, I continued falling
Into the deep, deep, deep
Dark abyss
Mysterious bottles of pills are on shelves
Perhaps if I get sick
Why else would I need them?
Light?
I see something shining
At the bottom
I drop the glass
I take one last look at the guns
Scarves
Belts
Glass
Ropes
Pills
People
I have become the image
Happy, smiling, grateful
I take one last look at the darkness above me
I plunge into the light
Jul 21, 2014
Jul 21, 2014 at 3:03 AM UTC
They were once the people I could trust my life into
All I want to know is: what did I do?
Best friends until the end, we said,
Yet every night I lay crying in bed.
It does not take a sleuth
To discover this poem only speaks the truth.
Lies and drama filled to the brim
My emotions forever more grim.
You ignored me, and I didn't know how to react.
So, I just did it back.
Barely a glance when we see each other
Sometimes I wish we could treat each other like sister or brother.
Writing this pains me
But sometimes this is key.
You broke my heart and trust
I tried to apologize and that ended in a bust.
Forgiving them is no longer an option.
You pick out your new friends like an adoption.
Who's cute, who's nice?
Who's quiet, veins filled with ice?
I must confess
I now know summertime sadness.
Jun 3, 2014
Jun 3, 2014 at 11:34 PM UTC