Floating
Spanning
Sprawling
Between Worlds
Hands and feet gripping corners of places
While most of me hangs in space
Brushed by breezes
Cooling shiver
Quivering I lose my grip
First on one world then another
Curled ball-like
Collapsing through the air
But calmer than before
No strings
To bind me to this place
I am without
There is no measure for this moment
Except eternity
Jan 12, 2020
Jan 12, 2020 at 2:14 AM UTC
Brick by brick
I build a wall
“Mine will be taller,”
I think.
“Mine will be stronger.”
I hear the words you speak
With lips that have lied before.
My expectations are too high,
I will take this blame.
I will shoulder the burden of this guilt.
Built to tear us both in two.
Separated from ourselves as well as one another.
I hate it here.
Inside depressions cloud.
Where air feels heavier than lead.
I the problem.
I the weight.
I the reason we won’t survive whatever time we are given.
I, a waterfall, sometimes a trickle other times a torrent wearing at rocks sure and stable.
Jan 12, 2020
Jan 12, 2020 at 2:13 AM UTC
I want to pluck you from my memory
Extract you from my minds eye
Where you had lived too long
Now some dark cancer
Before a guiding light
I can’t think you out of my head
And she’s there too.
Along with you, the new “chosen one”
To protege your opinions
Some gullible peddler hoking wares as truth
Less likely hers
So rather than ruminate
I write
In hopes that pen to paper puts you and her in places further from my headspace
To call it sacred
To call it home
A wildlife preserve
Ideals endangered released to explore again
When for an elongated moment
Nothing breathed that was not you
We stretch and blink and breathe in air cleaner now than before
Slow
Slow
To take time to be
To know
I at one with my mind
To observe
To act
To care
To live
Feb 10, 2019
Feb 10, 2019 at 2:40 PM UTC
When I see your name
A blackness envelopes me
Crushing coal dark
A mine-like tomb
In seven letters strung in some specific order any momentum I had gained halts and crumbles into crystalline shards
A singular moment rings bell-like in my mind
When all I had become became what you saw of me and not I of myself.
In that surrender I shadowed and slipped into a world you made
I became your creation
Closing my minds eye to itself
Closing my heart from itself
Relinquishing imagination for apathy
Living only for the sound of your voice praising your definition of me
Feb 5, 2019
Feb 5, 2019 at 12:07 PM UTC
It is an extraordinary thing.
To be human.
To have faculties shift more easily than windswept fields.
To shake with wanting.
To cry with joy.
To breathe deeply.
Consciously.
To feel heat rise within your cheeks as tears fill your eyes, brimming with some emotion unrecognized.
To feel warmth flood you after grateful words are spoken.
It is an extraordinary thing.
To be human.
Oct 31, 2018
Oct 31, 2018 at 11:40 AM UTC
I existed
For too long
In ambiguity
In pockets of bliss
More infrequent as time progressed
And now
Free to pursue dream and desire
Find myself caught
By sheer frustration
Throat aching to cry,
I am not second.
I am worthy of time spent
Of openness and honesty
And public displays of affection
Of respect. More than anything.
And it begins with me.
So I will begin.
Oct 14, 2018
Oct 14, 2018 at 12:59 AM UTC
A tiny cake
sickly sweet
covered in fondant icing pressed paper thin and filled
with jam
or
buttercream
all one word
marzipan
made of almond
fruit imitating
that yellow, warm, soft, sponge
Eat of me, that you may be filled
Oct 14, 2018
Oct 14, 2018 at 12:58 AM UTC
small feline
lying dormant
curled in hibernation
waiting for the cold and dark
to melt with springs returning
laughter warms that unlit space
sounding smiles light and lift
eyes meet
atmospheric shift
now is new
now holds promise like a bird
gently and with such awe
no cold no dark
only some star come down
to fill with fire and light
our hearts and minds
Oct 8, 2018
Oct 8, 2018 at 11:55 PM UTC
Thoughts occupied
Less like a bathroom stall
More stalled of mind
A gentle merry go round
Round pulsing
Vibrating
You
You
You
Lungs full deep
Oxygen laced with memory
Moments reiterated
Yesterday may be forever
But I take yesterday over never.
Oct 5, 2018
Oct 5, 2018 at 11:41 PM UTC
You want me here but I don't want to be here
You want me here but I don't want to be here
And it's not your fault I don't want to be here
But I can't escape my head
Til I get out of here.
These thoughts perpetual
This ephemeral effigy of Who I Am
Rattles around my mind
A cycle, a loop, constant, consistent
The way that they see me
Memories real or imagined
Created an image of me
And they're not my own
Well, some are my own.
And it's not that the noise in my head is too loud
It's more like the silence is deafening
And I'm defeated
Before I begin
At some point the record just scratches the needle scratches the needle and scratches the needle which wears out the grooves on the record that scratches the needle.
And I am the record and you are the needle.
And now I am flat and not useful
Nail me to a wall
Make me into a clock on the wall
Then I'll be useful
I'll tell the time
And keep a beat
With the tick of my hand
One every second
Please make me useful.
Oct 2, 2017
Oct 2, 2017 at 5:41 PM UTC