Your gentle smile lights up my world
like sana-flowers in bloom
I wish to simply hold your hand
And take you to the moon.
Your sweet voice through my handheld phone
Sends shivers down my spine
If only we could run away
And make our lives divine.
Mar 22, 2020
Mar 22, 2020 at 6:20 AM UTC
I wish to hear your voice divine
and feel your blazing skin
and maybe steal a kiss or two
before I weep for sin.
the distance has my heart aloof
I know not what to do
so I'll wrap myself tight in this bed
and dream of missing you.
Mar 22, 2020
Mar 22, 2020 at 6:20 AM UTC
Pain
Pain
Pain
Pain
Pain.
Pain,
Pain
Pain
(Pain)
Pain--
Pain
Pain
Pain
Pain
Pain pain painpainpain
Pain pain pain
Pain pain
Pain.
Pain with pain
Pine and pain
And sick
Pain-Ill death-clock
Tick tick ticks
Nothing to say
Anymore
Pain pain. Pain
Pain with feathers
How pain and why pain
And will be and never was pain
Pain in your shoes,
In a shower
On a floor
Pain
In a garden
Pain
With your tea
Pain in your eye
As you drive
Along
We must be terrible
We must be heinous
Viscous, meticulous,
We are not.
But pain pain pain
I. Can not sleep
As they sanction drone
Strikes on children
I. can not sleep
As a
Ghostly ether summons
Across lakes in dream
I. Can't think
I. can feel like a Cyprus
Upon a grave
Love love love
Love love love love
Love love love love
Death exists
Life is in brief moments
Where the dead
Drag in front of you
Bleeding, broken
Forever lost in this abyss
Grafted from a tree
In another world
Oh, my love.
Oh my love,
As I know it true
In bent knees at dawn
Whispers evermore in my ear
Beyond graves and atom bombs
Test pilots
Test tubes
Test
Pain in your chest
In your mouth
Rotted flesh
Rotted fits of aging
Agony which
Is pain, exquisite
Like a needle
Precise like
A
Nuclear accident
I. Can't sleep
As things fly above my head
My eye
Leaving me in the dark
Leaving me in a tub
Leaving me in a gas task
Mustard gas and Venus
Drowned in calm water
Out, out, out,
Number 1.
Nitrous oxide
Psalms, palms,
Save little girls
In dresses know
As I walk by a snowglobe
Oh, my love
How
I am sick of questions with an
Answer I know
But not quite
Not, quite
And death will solve
All power
Like forks
In an outlet
u r a beautiful dawn
At sunset
My eyes are tired
It needs to heal
It needs to heal
D. E. A. (D)
In a straw or dollar
O.K.
oh, Kay
Oh, Natalie
I dot the "I" in your
Name in my brain
In my bones leaving me
Aloft in dream,
I dream and weep
I dream and weep
Pain
Pain
Pai. N.
Kiev
Leaving
Pain
Pain. Pain. no. 1
Mar 22, 2020
Mar 22, 2020 at 5:43 AM UTC
"It's back again", she says,
"the monster in my head."
He was tiny at first, quite a cute little thing;
Hours of entertainment, an emotional swing.
An experience of a sort
One of a kind
But before I knew it,
I was losing my mind.
He grew little by little
Week by week
Grew some feathers and some claws,
Even some talons, and a beak.
He put my hands on my skull, and spun me around
But it hit me when I realised
This wasn't a merry go round.
This
Was
Life
Quite real, quite profound
I tried to leave
But he chased me like a hound.
It had become the norm, to reside in my bed
Quiet and alone
Inside of my head.
I didnt need a soul
I was ever so flighty
My social isolation
Expanded un-mildly.
And now here I lie awake
But hardly even conscious
That this little pet of mine
Is a little obnoxious.
But I'll put my shoes on
And try hard to function
After all, its just another day
In my Sana-verse mansion.
Mar 16, 2020
Mar 16, 2020 at 8:58 PM UTC
the screen empty lids behind my fatigued seeing eyes
sore from the blue fluorescence, trying to fill a void
desire to push myself to be functionally aware about my mortal coil
my sweet grief-stricken circumstance that is life
movement is opioid for the limp limbs of existence, trying oh so hard
here I lay
empty as an cracked eggshell
thrown in a filthy metal drum
where is my purposefulness
my proper shot at this path
the lead heavy laden head of my spiral
ties me down to the faux softness
begging for some warmth
Mar 16, 2020
Mar 16, 2020 at 8:44 PM UTC
I kept at your name like a prayer
My tongue tracing the syllables
As if tasting wine for the first time,
Clear and sharp;
And yet possessing the familiarity
Of dadima's rosary.
Feb 25, 2020
Feb 25, 2020 at 12:46 AM UTC
the sticky tendrils of sadness
wind their way into my bone marrow
and make themselves at home
every conscious second
sears my will to live
burns my unalive flesh
leaving a charred mass of dust
in its wake
my eyes are near-empty
the tear glands exhausted
my misanthropy polished on my heartbreak
how pathetic people are
we surround ourselves in the hope that it'll be okay
but my exhausted soul wishes to say:
it isn't worth the effort
it isn't worth the fleeting joy
all I want is my peace
my forever peace
my unending peace
the lack of consciousness.
Feb 8, 2020
Feb 8, 2020 at 4:34 AM UTC
Just when you think that the nights won't hurt
and the eyes wont tear
That familiar feeling rushes back in
With the force of a brick avalanche.
I love you. I still do. I never stopped.
My love
You broke me into little shards
And I did what shards do
I cut
I cut you off
But in the process
I cut myself off.
The pain never stopped
It got more unbearable
These nights never end well
The crack of dawn brings misery
I can never cry into my pillow during sunlight hours.
The searing pain of missing you
Is tattooed into the crevices of my soul
It aches and aches
Burns and burns
My heart shatters again
My jaan
We were ours.
Your temperature, my fingertips
My skin, your lips.
Feb 7, 2020
Feb 7, 2020 at 2:58 PM UTC
As I lay awake getting crushed by my thought-storms
In the early lati-twos of the day,
I crave the calm sunny shores of unconsciousness.
Jan 9, 2020
Jan 9, 2020 at 2:29 PM UTC