The train rumbles beneath me
As it speeds me through foreign lands,
All blue skies, clean fields, and perfect scenery.
It’s unlike anything I’ve ever seen,
But my eyes are drawn in by something else--
The reflection in my window.
I try to look passed it,
To ignore it and forget it’s there.
But the pale eyes in the reflection steal away my attention.
I see the hollowness of my cheeks,
The paleness of my aged and wrinkled skin,
And the unhappiness settled into my ever-dulling eyes.
After only a few seconds,
I can see the cracks in my life
Showing themselves through my appearance.
And I can’t help but wonder,
As I look at everyone on this train ride,
If they can see it breaking through, too...
Jul 17, 2016
Jul 17, 2016 at 3:38 PM UTC
The not-so-little-girl
Sits in the corner
Of her princess themed room,
Curled into a ball
As her swollen eyes
Take in the mess of her room
And the mess of her life.
Her eyes,
Too exhausted of tears,
Peer at how it all changed
When so little
Has seemed to change.
Her parent’s mouths
Used to be for fairy-tales and lullabies,
For goodnight kisses and happy smiles.
Now,
They’re used for harsh words,
For lies and abuse.
Her mind
Used to be for daydreams
And playing hide-&-seek with imaginary friends.
Now,
It’s used for cynicism and overthinking,
For self-hatred and self-harming thoughts.
As the aging girl sits in her room,
Curled into that tight ball
Of fear, sorrow, tears, and self-inflicted pain,
She thinks of how it all changed.
She thinks of how she wants her old life back,
How she wants to love her room again,
How she wants to love her life again.
But her not-so-innocent-mind
Refuses to let her believe in silly dreams.
So instead, she gathers up her heavy soul
From the corner of that room
And releases it from the pain-filled world.
Jul 17, 2016
Jul 17, 2016 at 3:38 PM UTC
I should have known.
I should have known
That your “I’m alright”
Spoken from your hospital bed
Wasn’t the truth.
I should have known
That your weakness
While hugging me and talking
Wasn’t from being tired.
I should have known
That my Pastor’s words,
“Becky isn’t doing well,”
Were the easiest way of putting it.
I should have known,
I should have felt it,
Felt it breaking my heart and soul
In the most painful way.
But I was naive,
I let myself play blind,
I should have known,
Yet I still hold the regret heavy on my mind.
Jul 17, 2016
Jul 17, 2016 at 3:34 PM UTC
It’s easy to forget
When the rush hits you
And spreads throughout you.
It’s easy to forget
When it never really mattered,
When it was all just a game to begin with.
It’s easy to forget
When you’re running away
And never truly face your problems.
It’s easy to forget
Until you come off the high,
Realize your faults,
And fail to run away.
You may think you can
Get high
Act like you don’t care
Or run away
But one day,
All those “easy to forgets”
Become regrets.
All those temporary fixes
Become permanent scars in your past.
Jul 17, 2016
Jul 17, 2016 at 3:18 PM UTC
Submerged in freezing waves
Of foam and bubble.
The iciness brushes over my skin,
Raising goosebumps.
Being underwater
Is like being in a new world.
The feel of bubbles teasing my skin
And the weightlessness of my body.
The beautiful array of my hair
Fanning out in every direction.
It would be so alluring
If the water weren’t pouring into my lungs.
Jul 17, 2016
Jul 17, 2016 at 3:18 PM UTC
I am the phantom
That walks through the halls
Of your sad, empty mind.
I am the spirit
That reminds you, endlessly,
Of the reality you left behind.
I am the ghost
That keeps you awake and afraid
Of facing another pitiful day.
Dec 20, 2015
Dec 20, 2015 at 1:33 PM UTC
No matter how much I deny,
I am still madly in love
With the one who tore me up,
Yet fixed me at the same time.
Dec 20, 2015
Dec 20, 2015 at 1:30 PM UTC
It's all in your head
Those whispers of revenge
That soothe your racing heart
Making it hard to swallow
You’re safe and sound
While you watch your friends
Hit the ground
You let them down again
Raise up
To your call of praise
To hand out those weapons
Which make them feel brave
Forget who you really are
Wear the mask of your disguise
Turn your head before you shoot the gun
And never look them in the eyes
You played the game once again
But the game is now your goal
You can take lives, but the victims instead
Take a bigger part of your soul
Your eyes of stone look soft to me
I can read what’s on your mind
It seems you’ve decided once again
To **** one of your own kind
It's all in your head
Those voices who ****
Who draw out your weapon
And give you their will
They’re safe and sound
Resting face first on the ground
Who dug this early grave for them?
Stand tall
Hold your head up high
Hold that gun in your hand
Bear no life in your eyes
Forget who you really are
It's all in your head
Dec 16, 2015
Dec 16, 2015 at 9:09 AM UTC
The flowers' petals,
That shimmer in the sunlight,
Are plucked carefully
By children of all ages
In order to find true love.
Dec 16, 2015
Dec 16, 2015 at 9:05 AM UTC
The blossoming trees
Stretch towards the sun lit sky,
Aiming ever so high.
Dec 16, 2015
Dec 16, 2015 at 9:02 AM UTC