Hi!
I miss you.
I miss the smiles that never wavered from our face unless we fell and scraped our knees in the playground.
I miss the love that radiated out from our heart to every single person that we met because we had no reason NOT to trust them.
I miss the nights when we'd wake up crying from a nightmare and mom and dad would comfort us.
I miss the family parties that we're actually enjoyable because there was still a kid table and we were still a kid.
I miss the laughter that escaped our lips and continued on until we were hunched over, grabbing our stomach, in tears.
Now... now we're just hunched over, grabbing our stomach, in tears because the darkness holds on and just won't let go no matter how many pills we take.
Now the family parties are us sitting at the end of the table, staring at our plate, hoping no one questions us, asking why we look so tired.
Now are the nights we stay up crying, hoping no one hears.
Now we're afraid to put our trust into someone because we know what it feels like to have our heart taken from us and smashed like a vase being dropped to the floor, knowing it can never be put back together again.
Now.. now we know what betrayal feels like, how the sharp stab of the knife feels upon our back, how not to share any thoughts because people would run away from how dark they are, how to curl up in a ball and tighten every muscle in our body to control our sobs during the anxiety attacks as if we're in the biggest competition of our life and the only way we win is if no one discovers us like this, how to force a smile onto our face like a clown has one painted upon theirs.
Now, now we're not a kid anymore and it feels like we've walked through hell and back but guess what we're still here ******
We're still living, we're still breathing.
We've made it through the heartbreak, through the betrayal, through the mental illness and, hell, we've still got a long way to go, but we've made it this far and
we can
and
we will continue on.
Sep 13, 2016
Sep 13, 2016 at 4:06 PM UTC
Being alone isn't always that bad, but
Dancing with loneliness is a dangerous path.
You get brought into the act
You get stuck and ****** within
You saved me from myself
With that smile so honest and true.
I've been dating and laying with darkness so long
That is until I met you.
Time stopped as you walked by
I knew you were different and true
You smiled and wave, I smiled and gave,
You all my heart in that moment.
You showed me not everyone is a monster
You showed me the good within.
I forgot all my past, the good and the bad,
As you shaped me to the best I could be.
My soul once black with loneliness
Now bright as the sun with joy
Is all thanks to you, for giving me hope
and seeing it fulfilled with your love, my only boy.
Mar 27, 2014
Mar 27, 2014 at 10:14 AM UTC
If you had a penny for my thoughts
one penny is all that you’d need
because one thing takes up my thoughts
and
all of it is you.
Aug 21, 2013
Aug 21, 2013 at 2:13 PM UTC
*To some I can be calm, soft turquoise.
Relaxed and smiling,
Chill and laughing,
Friendly, growing, and learning.*
**To others I can be dangerous, animating red.
Passionate and electrifying,
Energetic and sensitive,
Outspoken, intense and powerful.**
And to the rest I am beige,
Simple, quiet, and happy.
Jun 26, 2013
Jun 26, 2013 at 7:48 PM UTC
I cannot fathom my thoughts.
They’re jumbled, confusing, and lost.
I’m not sure what’s right,
or even what’s wrong.
All i know is I want you.
Together.
Alone.
Just you, me, and quiet.
Because that is when I’m sure.
Sure that this is what’s right
Sure that this is what I need.
Sure that you make me happier than anyone.
And that, that is what some people would **** for,
just to be sure of anything for a little while.
Jun 24, 2013
Jun 24, 2013 at 9:45 AM UTC