It feels like I’m in this constant cycle of grief and despair
At any given moment it can just overwhelm me..
It causes me to sink in what used to be sinkless waters of my mind
it’s a feeling I can’t seem to untether myself from no matter how hard I try
It’s like a stubborn in grown toenail that you continuously pick at and irritate and soon enough infection starts to grow
or like black mold that starts with just one speck in a forgotten crevice of a room and soon turns into a million specks all around your surroundings
I wish I could free myself from this cycle from this pain this internal warfare I’ve found myself in
If only simple words like “it’ll be okay” actually made a impact
there has to be a way through this ocean of pain
I have to find a way
Jul 27, 2025
Jul 27, 2025 at 1:45 AM UTC
I remember the first time you met my gaze
I was so curious as to what went on inside your
Head
What thoughts you’d have, what you’d do with your days
my curiosity turned into infatuation
I got lost in your maze
the deeper I wandered the closer you got
We met in the middle somehow
Where you set my heart ablaze
Loving you was everything but simple
It felt like every single season all at once and lasted decades
but all good things come to an end
for we are just thunder and rain
And in the end it’s just puddles of us that remain
Mar 14, 2023
Mar 14, 2023 at 4:03 AM UTC
I don’t know how to let you go
It seems like I’ve gone through every stage of grief
Every stage of withdraw
Loving you was more addicting than any drug
Loving you was more painful than any death
I could feel it flow it’s course throughout me
Never ending
Just multiplying
Within me
When things got tough
I could feel some secrete out of me like sap
Like as if I was a tree
Your tree
You could chop me up and each layer of me will have his own personal indentation
His mark
for I’m not me anymore I’m just whatever he sees of me
Chooses of me
Because his love is more suffocating than drowning
More excruciating than burning
More painful than dying
I just know that
if there was a hell
That he’d be the ruler
And I’d call it home
Oct 19, 2022
Oct 19, 2022 at 1:23 AM UTC
I opened my whole heart to you
like how surgeons open up chests to do surgery
You were the scalpel that sliced my skin wide opened
And there I was on display for your judgement.
That’s what it felt to love someone like you
The rawest form of judgement, no modesty was allowed
not a care, you were just in for a thrill
They say surgeons live to cut
Maybe you and surgeons aren’t that different
Except you didn’t cut me instead
your eyes pierced me
your voice paralyzed me
Your silenced poisoned me
And while I was on my knees
your touch crushed me
Oct 19, 2022
Oct 19, 2022 at 1:17 AM UTC
Whenever I have a bad day
I think of going to you
It’s like muscle memory for my brain
You’re the automatic comfort I seek
My safe person
Whenever I have the best day
I think of going to you
I wanna bask in the goodness with you
i love the look on your face when you feel proudness of me
I love celebrating with you
When I’m in trouble
I think of going to you
You know exactly what to say to me
How to deal with me
How to care for me
even if you think you have not a clue
Or are the worst at it
You’re the best at it in my eyes
I can’t imagine a world where I’m not navigating this crazy life without you by my side
Apart or together
You’re always near
And always there for me when life crashes
when you look at me
Time stands still
And my heart stops
And starts again at the bat of your lashes
And I feel myself fall again
Oct 13, 2022
Oct 13, 2022 at 8:21 AM UTC
I feel like a prisoner in my body
Like I’m decaying from the inside out
I barely remember what a deep breath felt like
Because I find that lately
Im drowning with every breath
Im sinking with each movement
Im losing my memories
The bad ones even the good ones too
My Mind is full of static
the silent kind
the silent unforgettable kind
I’ve lost myself in the sea of pain
And I’m sinking to the bottom
But
The more I sink the more peace I feel
I feel the weight of my world on my chest
The more I give in the less weight I feel
When I give all
And There’s nothing left
Not me
Not my memory
i feel true bliss in that moment
to be freed of the torture that is existing with this weight
With this pain
i feel like a prisoner
In my body
Oct 13, 2022
Oct 13, 2022 at 8:18 AM UTC
I lost myself in the maze that is your affection
the more I explored the deeper the connection grew
You showed me such beautiful sights, such colorful sensations
I never wanted to leave
you were all I needed
your love could’ve kept me fed for centuries
Only when
I felt you metastasized all over my body
Did I notice the weight of pain
That came along loving you
Loving you was like getting caught in a spider web and I got caught at the first sight of you
Your love turned from heavenly to deadly in just seconds
when you gave me the look I’ll never forget
A look that spoke loudly than any word in any language could express
You metastasized all over me to the point there was nothing of me left
Just endless you
Only you
Oct 13, 2022
Oct 13, 2022 at 3:15 AM UTC
when I feel something I feel it strongly, I feel it flow it’s course throughout my whole body, I feel it within me and circulating all throughout me.
Growing and strengthening and in some case worsening.
When I hate I hate with a passion
A hate that goes far deep, deeper than blood.
a passion so intense it could light a fire in an instant
A dangerous hate
an unforgettable hate
So when I say I hate you
I do
I mean it with all of me
Every fiber
Every cell
Every ending and beginning of me
Hates you
And there’s nothing anyone can do. Not you not me not any force
It’s just bound
You’re bound to it
I’ll forever have this hate
Maybe in death I’d be freed
but that would be letting you off the hook so easily
And someone as bad as you doesn’t deserve that
so when I say I hate you
I mean it
It’s a life sentence
Your sentence to be exact
And there’s no way to get out
No parole
No bail
for I put you on trial and I deemed you guilty
And it’ll never change
Just like you’ll never change
May 9, 2022
May 9, 2022 at 2:48 AM UTC
Intertwined with you early mornings and Late at night
There’s no other way I’d rather spend my time
than with you by my side
Feb 21, 2022
Feb 21, 2022 at 4:47 AM UTC
Man with the deep brown eyes
plump lips and textured hair
You make me feel a way I never thought I could feel again
I’m infatuated by you honestly
I’m so in love and yet it still feels like I barely know you
But just what I’ve seen I just love
I love you
I’ll always forgive you
I’ll always stick by you
I want to be by your side
I want to support you
I want you so bad
Jan 31, 2022
Jan 31, 2022 at 12:46 AM UTC