The night falls near and so do my fears,
They terrify me in the night and stay till the morning light,
They keep me up and wondering who I am,
They keep me thinking who gives a ****
The nightmares cut like a blade across my skin,
They push and pull me till my wit's end,
They slash at me with every move I make,
They do it till I'm about to break,
They go away till the next night,
Then they repeat till break of morning light,
They claw at me with all their might,
I may just be losing the fight,
Not understanding why me,
not knowing if I will be free, Free from all that pains me,
Free from all that takes me,
I fear it might so I continue to fight
but for how long can I hold up, I feel like I'm slipping again
That I'm losing all my fight, That I may just not be alright
I hide being a fake face and say I'm ok
But everything is starting to weigh
It's starting to weigh on me like a brick so heavy I can't lift it
I don't understand how to ask for help so
I just write this as a quick task.
Apr 23, 2021
Apr 23, 2021 at 12:22 AM UTC
The Weight of this fear is crushing
Everything in my mind is rushing
It goes fast,stops and goes in slow-motion
Not knowing what is right or what is wrong
Not knowing if I can stay as strong
{Not knowing if I can continue or if I should just give in}
Not knowing if should speak or stay silent
Not knowing if I am able to be nice or be violent
Not knowing if I'm able to smile and be happy
Not knowing if I am able to keep a fake face
Not knowing if your able to keep your head out of space
Not knowing if this fear will take you or let you be
Not knowing if this thing will break you or take you
Everything is backwards nothing is straight
Not knowing if the path is wide or narrow
Not knowing if today is the day
The day we all fear, The end is near
so what will you chose?
Apr 23, 2021
Apr 23, 2021 at 12:02 AM UTC
Her smile once so big and bright,
Has now turned dark and without light,
Her eyes once had a sparkle,
Now they are just empty and void,
Her heart once filled with joy and compassion,
Has now turned dark and cold like the bottom of the ocean,
Her love once so strong,
Has now turned into who can I trust,
Her being so brave,
Has now turned into fear that keeps her slave,
Her happiness was so overpowering,
But the fear is now towering,
Stopping her from doing anything,
Always second-guessing,
Her friends once there,
Are now gone like thin air,
She struggled and called out,
But no one understood her way of needing help,
She lost her way and lost everything,
She is alone and without hope,
She wishes people would understand,
She wishes people weren't so cold,
She just wants to be understood and welcomed,
But that will never be.
Feb 10, 2021
Feb 10, 2021 at 3:50 PM UTC
I'm sorry when the pain gets too much I shut down
I'm sorry that my smile has turned to a frown,
I'm sorry the person you would turn to for help is now helpless
I'm sorry that all of this is leaving me breathless,
I'm sorry when everything gets too much I don't know what to do
I'm just hoping that I will push through,
It gets hard at times to keep going
When all my flaws keep showing,
I'm sorry that I can't be enough for any of you
I'm sorry I can't be as strong as you need me to,
I'm sorry to drag you into my mess of a mind
I just need help getting out of this bind,
I struggle and I try to get out
But all I can do is scream and shout,
I yell at the top of my lungs but no one can hear me
I might as well go float in the dead sea,
I'm sorry that I drug you into all of this
But I'm stuck in an abyss
Nov 28, 2020
Nov 28, 2020 at 5:31 PM UTC
In the middle of the night, I scream and cry
Contemplating on my last goodbye,
Thinking where will I go where will I abide
My mind is a warzone I'm broken on the inside,
Not knowing what will happen scares me
I just want to be at a place where I am carefree,
But that will never happen with the way I am
I just wish I could be a hologram,
Now you have seen the mess of me,
Now its my time to be free
Nov 25, 2020
Nov 25, 2020 at 9:00 PM UTC
Would anyone care if I just gave up
Would anyone care if I drank out of my death cup,
Would anyone care if I just stopped it all
Would anyone care if I jumped off a stone wall,
Would anyone care if that blade ends everything
The weight of the world gets to much its like I'm a puppet on a string,
Being pulled every which way not knowing which way I'm facing
My soul is giving up and my heart is racing,
Not knowing who is there or who will be
Just might be the thing that saves me or ends me
Nov 25, 2020
Nov 25, 2020 at 8:43 PM UTC
Alone I stand here under a birch tree,
Wanting to be set free,
Yelling all the words that are all unheard,
Needing to get them unblurred,
If you could only know how bad they tear me apart,
Them words they are just stuck on my heart,
It tears me from the inside out
when I begin to start to shout,
but in the end, they will always stay unsaid.
Nov 11, 2020
Nov 11, 2020 at 8:11 PM UTC
The Ghost's Of My Past haunt me every night,
They dont go away even at morning light,
I ask you to take them away but they always stay,
You say "Listen My Child and Follow My Ways and Continue To Pray,
So I read your word and start to pray,
The ghost's of my past start to fade,
I am now following you and your ways,
I hope to be happy the rest of my days.
Jun 25, 2019
Jun 25, 2019 at 11:02 PM UTC
I don't know what will happen to me but I say,
Trust in God he will show you the way,
I came up short and became a stray,
But all I need is to pray,
He said "Listen my child, Follow Me, And Do As I Say, And You Will Be Part Of My Family,
Death will not take you from me because you would have morality.
Jun 25, 2019
Jun 25, 2019 at 10:57 PM UTC
Your light shines bright on my face,
You make me the opposite of an empty space,
I get sad a bit then I read your word,
Then I look outside and I see a bird,
You sent the bird to show me the way,
And I follow it throughout the day,
In the end it leads me to you,
And the gates of Heaven open to let me through.....
Jun 25, 2019
Jun 25, 2019 at 10:52 PM UTC