it was 28 days
we kept track of every single minute
we talked every day
then, you moved on.
meanwhile, i'm still stuck on the fact that you touched my shoulder
and held my hand
Jun 2, 2018
Jun 2, 2018 at 6:35 AM UTC
I still reminisce about that night, that we stayed up
And laughed, joked, and loved each other one more time
May 21, 2018
May 21, 2018 at 8:32 AM UTC
if you could do anything,
if you could have your questions answered,
if you could,
make him or her love you,
why would you do it?
the feeling of your finger tips on me, it is
it is other worldly.
if you could, for a moment,
open your eyes and see what they see.
how they see you
then maybe you would know why i depend on you.
if you could tear between the lining of the water and the air
to set yourself free of the burdens you already have
if you could claw your way out from 6 feet under to breathe peacefully for once in your life,
would you?
to see everything around,
the air
the streets
the signs
all of it.
May 20, 2018
May 20, 2018 at 10:09 AM UTC
i feel,
apathetic right now
i feel,
emotionless right now
and it's scary. it's scary to feel, nothing,
i tried to preserve my innocence as much as possible,
but, in what i've seen, throughout childhood, my innocence was like
gutted and killed.
and that also is pretty scary
cuz i feel like
along with innocence, things go hand in hand, like
happiness, and love
and i think moments of love don't last forever but,
nothing lasts forever.
but in the moment, love and sharing it really,
it puts you in a place like,
kinda like another dimension where,
you and this other person can,
let loose and do anything.
i like,
text this girl
and uhm,
it's scary to say the least,
cuz i don't want to admit that i depend on her, but i do
and depending on someone is scary because they might not depend on you so you just,
are stuck, waiting for this person to call back, when they have other people in their life. and i'm really antisocial, so i don't have many people.
and like,
i just feel scared for my future.
it's really messed up cuz you get so lost in someone.
that the only way to get out is to just,
delete them.
because you can't really delete people from real life.
i mean you could,
and it's ******* horrible.
May 20, 2018
May 20, 2018 at 9:39 AM UTC
i'm sorry
to the girl i yelled at because i was angry
i sat staring at the call back button
thinking about how much of an ******* i was
and all the words i can't take back
May 20, 2018
May 20, 2018 at 9:09 AM UTC
And the class was silent,
As Mr. Rodis' life entered through my mouth
And exited prematurely through the back of my cranium
And there is a hole left there.
Where words enter, but never leave.
And my hands are ripping at the seams
I'm sorry.
May 17, 2018
May 17, 2018 at 12:45 AM UTC
the phoenix he helped create,
out of control boy without a dad,
shot the gun that woke me up in the morning,
while i drove into his driveway repeatedly calling.
your white shirt is now red
and the polaroids are drenched in butane
my sweaty hands gripped the steering wheel as if i let go i'd fall
my temples felt non existent
and i tensed up at the dinner table
death sat across from me, and my parents told me to love her
because she was part of the family
and she only visits at times
now you fly in peace,
i hope, my friend,
a man can't avoid what he's meant to do,
when he's meant to do it,
even if he doesn't really want to,
May 12, 2018
May 12, 2018 at 3:40 PM UTC
This poem is dedicated to 3rd grade,
Politicians everywhere,
The San Diego Padres,
And everyone else who keeps ******* up my ****
I am not allowed to have feelings
Feelings would complicate this
I am
Nothing but a,
Stupid stuttering complaining *******
So do you mind
If I wrap my arms around you, just so I can say
That I am holding on to something that I won’t let go
Because I have trouble letting go
And yet
My hands slipped because they were sweaty and I was nervous,
And I dropped my courage and my thoughts.
So give me Will Toledo’s voice
And Rhiannon McGavin’s stage presence
I am not allowed to have feelings
Feelings would complicate this
Because I am nothing,
But a chameleon
And I try to stay invisible but in that attempt, I end up standing out
And looking like a black sheep among white sheep in a herd
Have you heard?
With this new update, he can unsave all of your messages
All your "I love yous" and all your "Hellos" and "Goodbyes"
And you are just messaging nothing
I am not allowed to have feelings,
Because feelings are stupid, and it feels too stupid to mention,
So do you mind if I whisper words into your ear?
So I can say
My secrets are trusted with the most trustworthy person
I am not allowed to have feelings
Feelings would complicate this
I am nothing but,
A god
Because every time I open my mouth
I create,
No, no, no, not the Garden of Eden
But the garden of even
And odd sentence structures that make phrases and paragraphs That are said so magnificently that I have the last laugh
Unless you want the last laugh
Because I’ll give you anything
To love you
To hold you
To say simples punchlines that make you smile because seeing you with that unconfident frown made feel like I have to do something
I,
Care,
And,
Love,
You.
Apr 28, 2018
Apr 28, 2018 at 6:32 PM UTC
Our fingers graze each other.
Past like every morning,
It's happened so many times without progress,
That, I'm worn in.
We're touching but not quite.
I almost walked into ongoing traffic, not paying attention
But your arm grabbed hold of me and told me,
We can't function unless we are in each others presence
Loving you makes it easier to be human
Loving you changed me, made me a new man.
When I die I don't wanna be a ghost
I wanna be a stranger
Cuz then maybe I won't make the same mistakes
And hopefully, I won't say the same things
**** this town and **** my ***** hands
When you're strange, if they like you then they gotta be stranger
But they're just strangers
I want to find a home wherever you are because home is a place where you find solace and peace and honestly you bring me solace and peace.
I wanna find a home in your lips.
I wanna find a home in your front passenger seat.
I wanna find a home in your bed.
Would you be kind enough to let a stranger in?
Maybe.
Apr 23, 2018
Apr 23, 2018 at 5:47 AM UTC
Match off
Burn the cigarettes
Read my eyes, tell me my regrets
**** I got depression
I got ************* passions
My mother was asking,
I'm a burning mess
I'm a disaster
Don't you dare lay a hand on her unless you ask her
I hate all these cowards
These addicts
This magic
I hate all the pillagers
Who destroy my villagers
I hate the rapists, and abusers and catcallers
Cause when I get my hands on you
You're gonna be running and falling
Off of the edge of your world
Don't think you'll get away with it
You ******* idiot.
AHEM
Sorry, I got carried away there,
Hey Mr. Internet,
Thank you,
You saved my life in February, yea
Thank you,
Because of the internet
I got an audience,
To hear the stupid **** I wrote down
In class on a sticky note with my red pen
Thank you,
Because of the internet
I got a bunch a friends
But because of the internet
I got a bunch of mood swings
And I'm losing grasp of things
**** the internet
I love the internet
I love this girl
I'm talking to, through
A screen
But is that real love?
Because we only know each other's words and not our voice
But is that really a choice,
Man, I'm ****** up.
It's ****** up because like
You get so lost in someone
That the only way to get out
Is to just,
Delete them
Because you can't really delete people from real life
But you can
And it's ******* horrible
Apr 21, 2018
Apr 21, 2018 at 2:55 PM UTC