You make me so happy
and so sad
You hate me
And you love me
You don't want me
but
Also don't want me moving on
I resent you
but
I adore you
I can't move on
though
I try
I push people away
put myself in a glass cage
How can you
love me
and
hate me
How can I
adore you
and
resent you
You’re perfect
but
we’re
toxic
I cry out
and
You turn away
You scream
I respond
and
You go silent
a cloud of emotions
I can’t shine away
I search
I search for an answer
however
It’s never found
Love shouldn't hurt like this
So I cling tighter
maybe
I’ll go numb
Reopen the wound
We sealed
My worth is measured by your words
We dance around the truth
Till we’re dizzy and lost
unable to find the exit
of this endless cycle
You refuse to be forgotten
But
refuse to be present
Is it really worth it
When do I stop
looking for answers
and start
looking for myself
What am I without you
With you, I’m in a blurred box
No vision of what's happening
only of what you tell me
I hate how I love you
You love how you hate me
4d ago
May 29, 2026 at 11:01 PM UTC
We’re leaving so much
To start a new life
But
What if I don't want a new life
truth is
There's no choice
so
Here's to all “the lasts”
The last time we sit at that lunch table
Row 2 Table 5
The last time we harass that one teacher
Mrs Hall
The last time we meet up in the hall
By the bathroom
The last time we see eachother as who we are
Not as who we’ve become
The last time I cry my heart out to that counselor
Mrs Hill, thank you
The last time we smell that Axe spray
Thank you, Lord….
The last time we were considered kids
This time, when we pack
We won't come back
Goodbye to my current life
Hello to the soon-to-be’s
I leave behind the version of me who was afraid to live,
Carrying forward the courage these walls gave me
A world I can’t yet picture, calling out my name
And I’m starting to respond
4d ago
May 29, 2026 at 10:29 PM UTC
In the worse way possible, I don’t want you back.
Your love makes me fuller, which makes it worse when it all bleeds out—
When you’re around it seems as though the sun shines brighter, so when your inevitable leave comes; the world fully dims.
4d ago
May 29, 2026 at 10:09 PM UTC
what are you supposed to do
when
you have so much to do
little time
no motivation
what are you supposed to do
what are you supposed to do
when
time is sprinting
and
your running
trying
your
best
to
catch
up
but cant
what are you supposed to do
when
people assume everything is for someone else
what are you supposed to do
when
you cant look in the mirror
without disgust
your face blurred
behind the tears
tired eyes
not able to recognize
what is happening
what are you supposed to do
when
your bestfriend moves
when
you have no one
when
you cant talk to her
when
you sit talking to yourself
waiting
for the silence
to
answer
what are you supposed to do
when
you want to tell someone
so much stuff
but they arent here to tell
what are you supposed to do
with all these
suppressed
emotions
what am I going to do
Apr 28
Apr 28, 2026 at 9:42 PM UTC
I’m no rose
no matter how many people tell me I am
no matter how many times I repeat to myself
I'm no rose
I'm a Daffodil
I’m no one's first choice
I’m usually forgotten
My stem is too wide
Petals too yellow
They see right through
I’m no rose
I trim my petals
Paint them crimson
Starve myself of nutrients
They see right through
I’m no rose
My petals bleed out
They wilt under the sweltering sun
They watch and laugh
As I suffer in silence
I have no mouth but must scream
My silence fills the room
I forget what it's like to feel proud of yellow
I dream of being a rose
but
I'm no rose
They yell, “Why do you suffer?”
you have no right to suffer
but the ache in my roots asks not of permission
I'm not her
I'm no rose
just a daffodil
bending under the strong wind
Apr 8
Apr 8, 2026 at 9:00 PM UTC
The morning after I take my life
my mom will be getting ready to take me to school
she’ll knock on my door and ask if im ready
no response
shell ask again and then come in my room
shell see me on my bed and try to wake me
no response
she’ll start vigorously shaking me
yelling my name
no response
shell be in tears not able to talk
shell scream for my stepdad
he wont wake up
shell call 911
unable to speak
when the paramedics arrive shell be in my room
holding me
crying
praying
the paramedics will take me
shell refuse to leave my side
the paramedics will try everything
No response
Shell call my dad
Not able to speak
They’ll officially pronounce me dead at the hospital
My mom will scream
A heartbroken scream
Shell cry
Fall to her knees
My dad will arrive
He’ll see my mom crying
Hell say my name
Try to get me to wake up
No response
My body is cold
My face lacking its color
Hell be sobbing
Eventually they’ll tell my family
They’ll shed tears of melancholy
Wonder if they did something
My brother wont understand
Hell ask for me
My mom will cry
Hell Go to my room look for me
Except im not there
I will never be there
My mom will call my phone
No response
Shell listen to my voicemail
just to hear my voice again
shell make my bed
clean my room
preserve it
so when I come home its clean
but im not coming home
i never will
my friends will text my phone
waiting
no response
they’ll go to school
look for me
im not there
I never will be
They’ll find out
Go through our messages
Try to text me again
No response
Eventually they’ll smile again
Forget im gone
A year will go by
Life will continue on
A year and 6 months later
My family and friends will gather
Its my 15 birthday
But im not there
I never will be
Life continues on
Jan 17
Jan 17, 2026 at 10:49 PM UTC